the 1-3 month period: what do men want?


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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #1  December 18,2009, 2:27pm
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What do men want and need (besides sex) in the 1-3 month period to grow his attraction and feelings for a woman? What can a woman do to help him along?
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #2  December 18,2009, 2:41pm
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Just keep things light, have a good sense of humor, don't be moody. Be willing to try new things. If you're giving him sex, then wear revealing outfits occasionally and initiate sex. I love it when a woman initiates. Oh, I should have said this first...if you like to cook, cook dinner for him. We love it when a woman cooks for us.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #3  December 18,2009, 2:42pm
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I don't know, I think it really depends on the person.


I would suggest being a sincerely good listener, (and that means the things unsaid, too), keeping yourself looking clean and nice and dressing well, when appropriately and that means: mostly!!!!, PUTTING HIM AHEAD OF YOUR CELL PHONE AND TEXTING (
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #4  December 18,2009, 2:48pm
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6dl899's answer is better than mine. Go with his answer + cooking
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  December 18,2009, 2:52pm
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Initial few months is for:

Checking that we have compatibility in lifestyle and values, and the goals that that matter in the time frame we're contemplating being together.

Getting past a point of uncertainty. I expect to know and anticipate my partner's availability by this point, and that time together is assumed.

That time is relaxing. I expect relationships to remove stress, not add it.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #6  December 18,2009, 2:57pm
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dietpepsi wrote :
What do men want and need (besides sex) in the 1-3 month period to grow his attraction and feelings for a woman? What can a woman do to help him along?
How long is a piece of string.

Look if a guy fancies you, you'll soon know what they may like. They'll be telling you; asking you out, phoning, posting letters, small gifts, giving flowers, hinting (well begging you) to stay over night, cooking you breakfast.

He'll be more than please if you go along with this. Remember, most guys will be engaging doubting/affiming self talk ("that's a smile, might be interested?" "whoes that with her? Oh, okay its her brother" "will she notice that I spilt coffee on my shirt" bla bla bla) We'e use to seeking female attention from infancy when we had to fight for our mother's attenton.

So if you simply return a call, agree to go out, kiss him good night, he'll be riding on air.

Mind you he'll be testing you out too. Trying to work out if you'll be a "control merchant" so be warey of adjusting his tie without also kissing him on the cheek, any negative talk about previous patners (any talk about pevious partners at all) ... For a guy the most wost thing is that you "trade affection" (read sex) ... He'll expect some, but too much control and you'll be talking with youself ...

Remember he may want you, but his self esteem is pedicated on him believing he doesn't need you.

PS don't get too hung on sex ... it is the feeling that you're interested in sex with him that is more impartnat early on ... he'll understand if you may want to get to know him better first, so long as you say that.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  December 18,2009, 2:57pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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[quote=6dle899;827898]I don't know, I think it really depends on the person.


I would suggest being a sincerely good listener, (and that means the things unsaid, too), keeping yourself looking clean and nice and dressing well, when appropriately and that means: mostly!!!!, PUTTING HIM AHEAD OF YOUR CELL PHONE AND TEXTING (
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #8  December 18,2009, 3:33pm
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dietpepsi wrote :
What do men want and need (besides sex) in the 1-3 month period to grow his attraction and feelings for a woman?
Is this a trick question?
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #9  December 19,2009, 1:19am
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jayjay wrote :
The thing for me is....I want to know what a woman is really like. I don't want her getting advice like this and then being on her 'best behavior' for the first few months.....and then reverting to her old self once we have a relationship established.

I don't really think that trying to figure out what men or women want in order to win them over is a good idea. I think that in the long run what it's best to win them over with is simply who you are. I know that can be difficult if you're seeing someone that you really like....because you also want them to like you. However, if you behave in a way that isn't part of your normal behavior I think this can lead to problems down the road.

This remark reminds me of the cartoon the other day I saw, of a travelling businessman asking the hooker to dress up in hair curlers, a ratty bathrobe and fuzzy slippers ----- because he missed his wife.
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #10  December 19,2009, 5:53am
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Jay, I understand your point that people should be authentic, but I also agree with DLE's tips about appropriate dating behavior for women. Many times women may accuse men of being thick-headed, but as DLE points out, women are often unaware that they can be just as dense in being rude, self-centered, shallow and inconsiderate.

Positive first impressions are usually what initially sustains a relationship, but it's hard to maintain behaviors that are a facade. That's why you really should be with some one longer than three months, and observe how they are in a variety of situations, before you make a decision on commitment.
 
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