ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #1  December 18,2009, 9:40am
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How important are common interests in your seasrch? Are you looking for someone who currently have this interest or at least someone who is willing to take it on? Are there any interests that are absolute must haves/must avoid (they are into fishing--and you hate it)) or you will turn and walk away?

The interests could be activities like dancing, photography, or more noble causes like volunteerism.

I know that there are some activities I don't do on my own but I would be more than willing to do when with someone who was into that.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  December 18,2009, 10:02am

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ami1uwant wrote :
How important are common interests in your seasrch? Are you looking for someone who currently have this interest or at least someone who is willing to take it on? Are there any interests that are absolute must haves/must avoid (they are into fishing--and you hate it)) or you will turn and walk away?

The interests could be activities like dancing, photography, or more noble causes like volunteerism.

I know that there are some activities I don't do on my own but I would be more than willing to do when with someone who was into that.
Although not a deal-breaker, I'd like to be with somebody at least with similar interest and/or level.

For example...I like jogging, but not an avid jogger...so very likely hardcore joggers/runners might pass on me. I have a friend who runs quite a bit...but short distance (up to 2 miles) I'm not too far behind her so we're ok.

Wine/wine tasting is one of my hobbies...and 9 out of 10 times I'm invited to a party, I always bring a bottle of wine as a gift (sometimes in addition to whatever else I'm bringing). My match doesn't have to be a wine expert, or even drink on weekly basis, but at least I hope she can drink more than just half an ounce...lol

One hobby that I don't do....is reading...everything else I'm pretty open unless it involves a lot of danger and possibly break my neck/back!
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  December 18,2009, 10:12am
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I find some interests repellent! but most things, I don't care what interests a guy has, as long as he has interests.

The more activities we can share, the more time we can spend together, so some overlap in interests is a good thing.

And the interests that are most important to me, if he doesn't do them, I want to at least be able to talk about them with him, to some extent, without his eyes glazing over.

And one thing that's great about any relationship -- romantic or friends, family whatever -- is getting introduced to new things!
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #4  December 18,2009, 10:17am

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There are a few things I have to have..or won't accept in a match.
I'm not looking for a Roxy clone-viva la differance as they say....but some commonalities are important.

No couch potatoes - I'm very active and like it..not interested in staying home with the TV 7 nites out of 7-though I sure don't have to be going every night, I do like to be active every day!

No smoking-a given

I like to hike and I'd really like to go with someone. This fall I experienced my first hiking injury, was alone 8 miles out on an obscure central Oregon trail and had to hike back by myself (ok with my dog). The good thing is I always pack 'instant ice' and ace wraps as well as other day hike things and was able to ice and wrap the injury, treat myself with first aid and limp back, drive into the nearest doc-in-a-box etc etc. But its made me very aware of how vulnerable I am hiking alone.

I love live music and would want to enjoy that with a date

and finally Finances...thats a toughie. I want to travel and I would appreciate being with someone who could afford to take the occasional long vacation as well as weekend trips to the coast etc.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  December 18,2009, 10:23am
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Depends on the interests. It's crucial that certain interest such as travel overlap since it would be problematic to leave your SO behind while you go off sightseeing around the world.

On the other hand, it's nice to have some interests apart simply so that you both give each other some space and breathing room. For instance, he goes fishing with his buddies, she goes to play tennis with her gal pals. Neither one is sitting home bored, tapping their foot and feeling lonely and both get healthy social time apart from each other.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #6  December 18,2009, 11:28am
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DancingFool wrote :
Depends on the interests. It's crucial that certain interest such as travel overlap since it would be problematic to leave your SO behind while you go off sightseeing around the world.

On the other hand, it's nice to have some interests apart simply so that you both give each other some space and breathing room. For instance, he goes fishing with his buddies, she goes to play tennis with her gal pals. Neither one is sitting home bored, tapping their foot and feeling lonely and both get healthy social time apart from each other.
+1

Travel is hugely important to me.

I wonder sometimes if people can get too hung up on the common interests and the importance placed on them.

Had an ex who took issue with my views on her favourite author. (Reading is a common interest we shared.) Uhhhh ... so not only do you need someone who likes reading, but they have to like reading the same author's that you do. Really?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  December 18,2009, 11:30am
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There are certain interests (activities) that are usually practiced as a couple or mixed sex group. Example would be dancing. If dancing is important to you and your partner does not dance then this would be an interest not shared that is going to be a problem. Interests that are practiced as an individual, example fishing or photography, should not be a deal breaker if not shared.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #8  December 18,2009, 11:43am

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Interests that are practiced as an individual, example fishing or photography, should not be a deal breaker if not shared.
I'd take this a step further.

I think it important to have interests outside of each others..I quilt. While there is an occasional man who sews, I wouldn't expect to share that (and I don't include it on my profile as it's perceived as being old lady-ish). However I would be sorely upset if I couldn't spend time alone with my quilting machine.

Since I don't golf, an ideal match for me would be a guy with a set of established golfing buddies who enjoy a day on the course.

In order to not become part of a joined at the hip couple, whose names come off friends lips as one word, each person needs to have her/his own hobbies. And there isn't any excuse for anyone to sit at home tapping his/her foot in irritation while the spouse is out having fun. Thats just selfish and insecure behavior-I wouldn't find it easy to tolerate (which is why I'm having a bit of a problem in my present relationship)
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  December 18,2009, 12:17pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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The only thing that would matter to me regarding these is if someone was a fanatic about a certain interest and was busy with it in all their spare time...which could interfere with a relationship. Other than that interests mean little to nothing to me.
 
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