I want to become a juggler


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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  December 18,2009, 7:51am
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...of guys that is.

I've met a few guys from online and no one, so far, has made my knees weak or heart race. Most are very nice and even if they do not turn into dating relationships I would like to remain friends. I'm trying to stop myself from running from a good man before I've given him a chance. I've done that in the past and need to stop my reaction driven behavior.

My question is, how do I "juggle" these guys without digging a hole for myself or making one of them upset?

I've never "dated" multiple guys before. I am usually either with someone or we're just friends. But I want to go out on a date with at least two of the guys I've met. Am I being fickle?

Should I say anything to the guys? I know I need to if they bring up being exclusive or ask a direct question. I mean before that. If they ask what I'm doing Friday but I already have plans with another guy. Do I do the vague, "going out with a friend" thing or be totally honest and tell them I'm going on a date with someone else?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  December 18,2009, 8:07am
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Do you feel somewhat guilty about dating >1 at a time? It sounds like maybe you do ...

You are allowed to date more than 1 guy at a time. As long as you don't lie to anybody, you don't have to keep guy A apprised of what's up with guy B.

"I already have plans, but how about Saturday?" would be a nice reply. Letting him know you're not just shutting him down. Have fun!
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  December 18,2009, 8:14am
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My answers in color.
AndieIsMe wrote :
My question is, how do I "juggle" these guys without digging a hole for myself or making one of them upset?

Don't worry about that.

I've never "dated" multiple guys before. I am usually either with someone or we're just friends. But I want to go out on a date with at least two of the guys I've met. Am I being fickle?

No.

Should I say anything to the guys? I know I need to if they bring up being exclusive or ask a direct question. I mean before that.

Only answer what's asked. If he asks if you're also seeing someone else don't lie. It shouldn't be much of a big deal to anyone if you're dating someone else at the early stage but at some point you need to make a decision. At this early of a stage it's too soon to start talking about being exclusive. If they do, just say you're not ready for that yet.

If they ask what I'm doing Friday but I already have plans with another guy. Do I do the vague, "going out with a friend" thing or be totally honest and tell them I'm going on a date with someone else?

Just say you already have plans for (whatever) night but offer up an alternative right away. There's nothing wrong with weeknight dates either so dating two guys shouldn't be much of a problem.
Oh, and it isn't juggling until you have three going on at the same time.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #4  December 18,2009, 8:17am
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tweet37 wrote :
Oh, and it isn't juggling until you have three going on at the same time.
There you go, Andie--go out and find yourself another guy. You need three!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  December 18,2009, 8:26am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
Do you feel somewhat guilty about dating >1 at a time? It sounds like maybe you do ...
Guilty? Maybe a little. I've never been one to date more than one guy at a time. My worry mode turned on when I realized what I want to do (are doing), and all the foreseable disasters ran through my head. On one hand I think this will be no problem. The other hand holds the pitchforks the guys will be chasing me with.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #6  December 18,2009, 9:11am
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tweet37 wrote :

Oh, and it isn't juggling until you have three going on at the same time.
Hey look over THERE!!!
It's a squirrel!!!!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  December 18,2009, 10:42am
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I was hoping for five guys...

Would that mean I was a circus performer then?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #8  December 18,2009, 10:45am

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cp should know what to do!!!
Last edited by PY_2; December 18,2009 at 10:50am. Reason: emoticons
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #9  December 18,2009, 10:59am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I was hoping for five guys...

Would that mean I was a circus performer then?

I think it would, if they *ALL* had the SAME first name.



Think: chameleon on a scotch plaid.
 
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SweetKatieA is offline SweetKatieA Post #10  December 18,2009, 11:04am
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Good luck with your juggling. Just don't confuse the guys... that's always a bad thing. I wish to finally be done with juggling. I'd like to be a one man kinda girl.
 
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