first date conversation...HELP


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stevex is offline stevex Post #11  December 18,2009, 6:38am
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I am with some others, the first date isn't always about learning every detail of a person. Choose a date that is fun and if you two are meant to be the conversation will be natural.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #12  December 18,2009, 5:11pm
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HappyandLight wrote :
I also think that making up a list of topics to bring up is a good idea and not contrived at all.
A lot of the questions you have suggested may well come up in natural conversation.

But if I get the impression that you are asking contrived questions from a rehearsed list, and you are just unable to have normal casual conversation, my eyes will roll back in my head and I'll wrap up the meeting.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #13  December 18,2009, 5:27pm
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If you both are introverted & you know this then you really do not need to be uncomfortable with any silences that occur. That is self-imposed. You could realise that you both may feel the same way & just let it go. Maybe make a joke about it if they do come up. That could relax you both.
 
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mikeinor is offline mikeinor Post #14  December 18,2009, 5:48pm
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Ahhh... to me it only seems awkward when I am really into someone!

Worrying about silence and awkwardness... causes silence and awkwardness. The best way I know to diffuse silence and awkwardness is to talk about "silence and awkwardness". When I am having an awkward moment (or hopefully before one occurs) I will tell the person that I am shy and not being talkative does not mean I am not interested!

At the same time I hate talking on the phone and I am much more awkward talking to someone on the phone that I have never met than I am talking to them in person. Phone conversations are very one dimensional... there are so many more dimensions to talking with someone in person. Body language tells us much more about someone than what they say.

If you want it to be awkward... then keep worrying about the meeting being awkward! Nothing will kill a conversation faster than worrying about what to say next. You start worrying and you stop communicating.
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Pellaeon is offline Pellaeon Post #15  December 20,2009, 1:05pm
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I've often found that if you get an activity that you and your date can focus on, the conversation will flow naturally as the pressure to "think of something to say" is gone and you are just having fun.

Bring a digital camera and pose for pictures with each other.
 
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