**Today's Featured Group: Widow / Widower's Group***


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  December 16,2009, 9:46am
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Hey everyone!

We're going to start profiling some Groups which we think will be of interest or helpful to our Community!

The first of these is the Widow / Widower's Group. Dating presents some really unique and difficult challenges to those who have lost their spouse; many have been out of the dating game for decades, and are struggling with a desire for companionship while still being in love with their deceased spouse. This definitely calls for a different approach to dating and input and understanding from others who are also in this situation.

If you're a widow or widower, stop on by and say Hello to the Group. You may just get the support and understanding you've been looking for, and make some good friends in the process.

Hope this is helpful!!

Best,
-Lori

P.S. If you'd like to suggest a Group to be featured, please PM me!
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #2  December 16,2009, 10:27am

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Thanks for this Lori--I'll stop by and play cheerleader
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #3  December 16,2009, 10:59am
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Widowhood......

While everyone, lifetime single, formerly married multiple times, divorced, or widowed, and even separated, has a "story", to share,

....for me personally, widows presumptively get "5 stars" more than anyone else, in the dating game, at the start, because they had a lasting marriage, and *stuck* with their wedding vows which said, "Till death do us part" and "For better or worse".


From there, it's on a case by case basis, though.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  December 16,2009, 2:26pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
Groups which we think will be of interest or helpful to our Community!

Oh boy ...
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  December 16,2009, 3:03pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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I'm forced to admit to being a member of this group, unfortunately. Wish I wasn't. Not dating yet.

It was very heartening to see what 6dle899 posted.

I've seen (too many times to count) a poster say he wouldn't touch widows. Like we have a disease or something.

He's said it's because he got "burned really bad". Like heartburn can compare to watching somebody you love die.....and not be able to do a Gosh-Darn thing to stop it!

First time I've ever vented how personally offensive it is to see something like that written, over and over and over.

OK. I feel better now.

j8a
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #6  December 16,2009, 3:24pm

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j0hn8andy wrote :

It was very heartening to see what 6dle899 posted.
j8a
I concur j8z-thanks for that supportive post guy.

I try to be positive about being a widow in my profile-I had a very good marriage and learned how an excellent relationship works-what to do and most importantly, what NOT to do/what to expect and what NOT to expect from a real life experience PoV.

Sure, some of us have a hard time not singing the praises of our beloved spouse who has died but that usually means, or it did for me, that I wasn't yet ready to leave being a wife behind and start thinking as a single person.

Just this year, I started checking the Single box in forms, rather than the Widow box because I know it's time for me to accept being single-it's an "act as if" leap of faith and it seems to be working.
 
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Max57 is offline Max57 Post #7  December 16,2009, 7:41pm
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Widower here. I'm just now thinking about jumping in the dating game. Yes, I still miss and love my spouse. I'm not sure how that's going to be viewed when I do start dating. I'm really hoping it won't seem as though I expect my dates to be counselors.

After 27 years, even the idea of "dating" makes my palms sweat. But, I'm also tired of being alone -- I'd like some companionship.

It's different is than if you were divorced after that long and your spouse chose to leave. But I see nothing easy in that situation either. The only plus there is the ex may be availble for helping one's children.

end-of-stream-of-conciousness
 
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winn is offline winn Post #8  December 16,2009, 10:57pm

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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I haven't had a lot of dates yet as a widow but that's been more because it hadn't been that long since my husband died and I wasn't quite ready for dating yet but I'm feeling much more ready now. The few awkward dates I had taught me a lot about myself and what I'm not willing to compromise on but it also taught me that yes, as much as i still love my husband, he's dead and I'm not and it is possible for me to still love him and have plenty of love for a new man in my life who doesn't have to be anything like my former spouse.I can and will appreciate a new guy for their own unique character and flavor that they would bring to a relationship.
 
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winn is offline winn Post #9  December 16,2009, 10:59pm

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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6dle899 wrote :
Widowhood......

While everyone, lifetime single, formerly married multiple times, divorced, or widowed, and even separated, has a "story", to share,

....for me personally, widows presumptively get "5 stars" more than anyone else, in the dating game, at the start, because they had a lasting marriage, and *stuck* with their wedding vows which said, "Till death do us part" and "For better or worse".


From there, it's on a case by case basis, though.
Boy, Jim, I'm flattered and really appreciate your comments here.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #10  December 17,2009, 1:41am
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Max57 wrote :
After 27 years, even the idea of "dating" makes my palms sweat. But, I'm also tired of being alone -- I'd like some companionship.
oh, I think you not thinking this matter through ... you've had 27 years of daily dates, perhaps more than one in the same day ... oh, it might have been with the same bloke/shelia ... kinda like groundhog day (ove and over again) ... so I reckon you've plenty of opportunity to have got it right ... unlike the comparative ametures, who may only have date evey other week or so at best ...

So please share us your best date with the late Mr or Mrs ... we won't to learn.
 
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