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corvalueokie is offline corvalueokie Post #11  January 2,2008, 4:50pm
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I agree with DJGREG3823. PLEASE contact us if you feel there might be a connection. I also get tired of making the initial contact only to either never get a response or find my match closed the following day. We like it when the women make the first step, it definitely gets our attention or at least it gets my attention. Plus were all here for the same reason, to find that right person so why not go for it.
 
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jellis is offline jellis Post #12  January 2,2008, 5:59pm
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I did start communicating first, mind you I am new to this and didn't really know what i was doing, but we are in the open stage this and we seem to have alot in common, except now I am hesitant to take it further because I mentioned he prefers a "thin and lean" body type and I am maybe 5lbs or so overweight not unfit in any way and I feel I look good but I am by no means "thin and lean" I am feeling like I should end this now, I need some help with this.
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #13  January 2,2008, 6:58pm

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I have never hesitated to initiate communication. If a man's profile interests me, why not let him know? Sometimes I get closed for the dreaded "other" reason, but that's ok. Means he's not the right guy for me. I have met some wonderful men on eharmony, just not anyone with whom I'd want a long term relationship. I have developed deep friendships with a couple men, though, and we root each other on in this process.

You know, now that I think about it, I don't think it ever occurred to me to NOT initiate contact if I was interested. What do you have to lose by making the first move?
 
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mytwocents is offline mytwocents Post #14  January 3,2008, 12:30am
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Hey Summerktgrl. I understand where you are coming from. I was hesitant at first, also. Then I started finding out that men might be getting quite a few more matches than we women do. So now, if I read a guy's profile that really interests me, I may wait a day, but I have no problems initiating. I figure it will set me apart from his other matches. If he closes me out, well he's a stranger that doesn't even know me, so whatever. A lot of matches don't respond. When I first started I thought it was me. Now I know it's them :^). There are many people on here who aren't paid subscribers so they don't get to communicate. As for when to meet someone. If you hit it off online and on the phone, I agree with MW77009, don't wait too long. A picture/profile can only tell you so much. My most "favorite" match actually didn't impress with his photo/profile and I had almost closed him out. But he initiated contact and I thought, why not check him out? We hit it off and met within 2 weeks I think. That was almost a year ago and now we're really good friends. He and his family are an immense blessing to me. And to think that I almost missed that blessing! De_zeye_ner: you crack me up. Keep the faith my friend. Some of us have figured out that less than a 10% of our matches get to open communication, and less than half of those we meet in person. And that's ok. Some people might have a different percentage, who knows. But the more people you initiate contact with, the greater chance you have for the face-to-face meeting, with or without their teeth :^).
 
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MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #15  January 3,2008, 11:56am
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Excellent post all the way around, MYTWOCENTS! I believe that you have to go for it and you never know if you will hit it off until you actually meet.
 
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Savasana is offline Savasana Post #16  January 5,2008, 4:11pm
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Why on earth wouldn't you choose to communicate first?! I only just started reading these boards but I really can't believe some of the silly notions folks have about who should do what when it comes to dating! Ladies, come on, this isn't 1952! Get out there! If you see someone you would like to get to know better, get off your duff and do something about it! The worst that could happen is he closes the match and chooses "other" as a reason lol!! And that really isn't so bad, is it? You will never get want you want if you just wait for it to come to you!
 
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L J is offline L J Post #17  January 19,2008, 7:27pm
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I agree with Savasana, you're paying money for the use of this site. I'm not saying be aggressive, but be forward. This is the 21st century get out there and live. I've been on here for 4 months and pretty much have initiated ALL of my matches. I have no hesitation doing it and the guys don't really mind anyway.
 
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houhana is offline houhana Post #18  January 23,2008, 1:24pm
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I agree with Savasana. Sometimes I have initiated the first contact, sometimes they have and you never know who you are going to meet. I used to think I would wait but you are paying to use the site and if the match is offended by that then they should not be using the site.
 
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foodie603 is offline foodie603 Post #19  January 24,2008, 12:01pm
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summerktgrl, wrote :
I've been on eHarmony for about a month now and would like your input on a few questions! Will you help me? 1) Ladies, do you ever request the initial communication with a match? I haven't so far, I guess I'm old-fashioned but I think if a guy is interested he will make the first move. What are your thoughts? 2) Also, how long would you expect to communicate with someone prior to meeting? I'm on eHarmony to start dating in the real world, that's the point right? Thanks!
I was on eharmony for about a month when I met Andy. I initiated the match!!!! We have been togteher for 6 months and he is a wonderful man. I understand The "old Fashion thinking" but if there is someone who catches your eye go for it.....We waited about a month for our first date. We had several phone conversations and lots of text messages......

I was a skeptic to this online dating thing. I am a widow and had been married for 17 years, I had know idea what to expect. eharmony was a great way to meet someone who shared a great deal in common with me. It really dooes work!!!!!!
 
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LBLS is offline LBLS Post #20  January 25,2008, 12:11am
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I just signed up to eHarmony 2 days ago and I've already initiated conversation with 3 of my matches. To be honest only one has replied thus far but I have hope! I also am using the guided conversation offered by eHarmony. It offers a variety of questions to ask which is so much better than trying to come up with questions on my own! I think that this is the best option for communication for shy, nervous individuals. It's like dipping your toe into the pool instead of jumping in. Good luck y'all and have a great week.
 
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