Do we "psych ourselves out" in dating?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  December 14,2009, 3:18pm
eHA_Admin_Lor…'s Avatar

My one wish for you, is love. :)

Moderator

Joined: Nov 2008

Santa Monica, CA

Posts: 5,120

See profile

As I was just reading the What makes a first date a success? thread, I thought back to the first date of my last relationship. The thing I remember most was that for some reason I wasn't nervous, and by emails and phone calls I had already decided that even if I just ended up friends with this guy, I'd be happy.

I wonder, to what extent did that feeling of contentment going into the date a factor in its success?

And, on the flip side, to what extent do we ward off success with dates (particularly first dates) by having such high hopes?
 
  Reply With Quote
PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  December 14,2009, 3:23pm

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 6,908

See profile

Keep the expectation low, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Keep the expectation high, you will be sorely dissapointed (and then frustratingly post about your bad experience in dating)
Last edited by PY_2; December 14,2009 at 3:23pm. Reason: and alone on many cold, rainy, depressing, lonely nights.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  December 14,2009, 3:32pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

I stopped having hopes after my first few meetings (15 years ago, now.)

I worry about what I can control:

- Pick a place I will enjoy dinner.
- Fri or Sat so I can relax and have time.
- Be on time, clean, shave, etc.
- Listen and be alert, have no agenda.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  December 14,2009, 6:08pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

PY_2 wrote :
Keep the expectation low, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Keep the expectation high, you will be sorely dissapointed (and then frustratingly post about your bad experience in dating)
+1
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« is she playing games with me? | Dating | Up and Down the Social Ladder »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Dating again after a LONG Break adt6679 Dating 4 January 11,2011 10:19am
dating and geography cp30 Dating 100 September 22,2010 5:28am
10 things Dating Sites won't tell you... SingleYetAgain Using eHarmony 28 September 12,2010 11:43am
Should I have told her I was dating someone else? as1977 Ask a Dating Expert 46 January 10,2010 3:42pm
Great things about cross-cultural dating SoOverIt Dating 5 August 5,2009 6:33pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:22pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0