Are There Really Rules for Dating?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #1  December 7,2009, 8:54pm
fjp5's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2009

Boston

Posts: 102

See profile

I had a first date last week the next day I was talking to a friend and he said "make sure you don't call her now for 3 days" wait..what? I am in my 30's as is she but he said don't forget the rules!
I went on a second date with someone else this weekend a different girl I had gone out with last weekend, it was a great time. After that date again my friend said don't contact her for 2 days ... so I defied both rules, the first girl I sent a quick email the next day and got a reply right back, the second girl I sent another quick email an hour ago and have not heard back yet (but it is 1am) ..

Am I off base here? Can't dating just be organic? I think the baseline rule is you don't badger someone with phone calls, emails or text messages and don't be late but besides that?
 
  Reply With Quote
Sucia1969 is offline Sucia1969 Post #2  December 7,2009, 8:59pm
Sucia1969's Avatar

ridiculously happy

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2009

improbable land of possible lahars and tsunamis

Posts: 285

See profile

fjp5 wrote :
I had a first date last week the next day I was talking to a friend and he said "make sure you don't call her now for 3 days" wait..what? I am in my 30's as is she but he said don't forget the rules!
I went on a second date with someone else this weekend a different girl I had gone out with last weekend, it was a great time. After that date again my friend said don't contact her for 2 days ... so I defied both rules, the first girl I sent a quick email the next day and got a reply right back, the second girl I sent another quick email an hour ago and have not heard back yet (but it is 1am) ..

Am I off base here? Can't dating just be organic? I think the baseline rule is you don't badger someone with phone calls, emails or text messages and don't be late but besides that?
If a guy didn't call for 2 or 3 days I would think something was wrong, and feel that he was playing games when he did call or contact. I say go with what you feel, you are right not to badger her, and she is probably asleep or thinking no one would email in the middle of the night, so wait until tommorrow to worry about # 2
 
  Reply With Quote
VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #3  December 7,2009, 9:00pm
VB_Girl's Avatar

is working hard for this vacation!

Power Poster

Joined: Feb 2009

Chicago

Posts: 6,946

See profile

Good for you for ignoring your friend. To me, waiting would be playing games which everyone says they hate.

I always like to hear that the guy I went out with had a good time too. I like it even better when he contacts me first.

Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  December 7,2009, 9:19pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

You have a lot better sense than your friends!

The main rule of dating is if you're interested, show it!

Personally, if a first date went really well I love it when a guy either texts or gives a short call as soon as he gets home to make sure I got home safely and to say he had a good time. Sometimes... I beat him to it! If I don't hear from him that night, nor the next day, I'll send him a message. But after that if he doesn't respond in some fashion within a day (unless he's already told me he's going to be out of town or something) I assume he's not interested.
 
  Reply With Quote
fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #5  December 7,2009, 9:22pm
fjp5's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2009

Boston

Posts: 102

See profile

Thanks both of you. I am not worried about girl #2, I wasn't expecting a reply back tonight anyway and not get a reply back wasn't my point. I am just up doing paper work I fell behind on today because I was on EH longer than I should have so I figured I drop her a quick email rather than tomorrow morning.


Also with Date #2 as it was wrapping up and we got to our cars, we hugged then locked eyes and I said "can I kiss you good night" she said yes and it was great. My friend said as a rule you never ask a girl to kiss her, you just do it ... he said asking is a juvenile thing to do and it shows a lack of confidance. I see some validity in that but asking first builds trust I think.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sucia1969 is offline Sucia1969 Post #6  December 7,2009, 9:40pm
Sucia1969's Avatar

ridiculously happy

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2009

improbable land of possible lahars and tsunamis

Posts: 285

See profile

fjp5 wrote :
Also with Date #2 as it was wrapping up and we got to our cars, we hugged then locked eyes and I said "can I kiss you good night" she said yes and it was great. My friend said as a rule you never ask a girl to kiss her, you just do it ... he said asking is a juvenile thing to do and it shows a lack of confidance. I see some validity in that but asking first builds trust I think.
I would say you are better off not listening to your friend, you seem do be doing fine on your own. I don't think it shows lack of confidence, it gives her the opprotunity to accept if she wants and not put either of you in an embarrassing situation.
 
  Reply With Quote
RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #7  December 7,2009, 10:28pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

Northwest

Posts: 3,239

See profile

You show lots more self assurance and maturity than your manipulative friends.

They should listen to you.
 
  Reply With Quote
lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #8  December 7,2009, 11:18pm
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

california

Posts: 1,364

See profile

there is a timing factor to building sustainable neurochemistry.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  December 8,2009, 3:36am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

fjp5 wrote :
Thanks both of you. I am not worried about girl #2, I wasn't expecting a reply back tonight anyway and not get a reply back wasn't my point. I am just up doing paper work I fell behind on today because I was on EH longer than I should have so I figured I drop her a quick email rather than tomorrow morning.


Also with Date #2 as it was wrapping up and we got to our cars, we hugged then locked eyes and I said "can I kiss you good night" she said yes and it was great. My friend said as a rule you never ask a girl to kiss her, you just do it ... he said asking is a juvenile thing to do and it shows a lack of confidance. I see some validity in that but asking first builds trust I think.
You are right about responding and contacting - do it as it feels right as long as there is no incessant calling or harrassing going on.

As for asking before kissing.....that is actually very awkward in my book. I would just say go with the moment - less talk more action...lol...
 
  Reply With Quote
MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  December 8,2009, 4:59am
MicMan's Avatar

is living life to 83% of its normal capacity.

Board Leader - Sports

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 2,958

See profile

Anyone that's going to set a timer between communications is not the kind of person that I want to deal with in the first place.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Baggage or Experience? | Dating | how non-committal is he? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Inappropriate Material and the Rules DennisWisconsin Groupies: A Group For Group Board Owners & Admins 21 December 2,2009 10:35am
Are the rules different? Can_u_hear_me_now Dating 35 November 3,2009 11:04am
5 Rules cfibl AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 16 August 8,2009 9:51pm
Can non-paying see messages? Rules? JoeB1901 Using eHarmony 6 June 24,2009 2:27pm
I feel like the kid that doesn't understand the rules in peewee soccer Ron2758 Dating 14 June 4,2009 10:29am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:21pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0