What do you make of this statement?


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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #1  November 24,2009, 3:36am
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So, low and behold, I was bored and was checking out a dating site again. A woman had and interesting answer to a question in her profile. The question was what have you learned from previous relationships. Her answer, "If a relationship takes work at the beginning, then it is probably doomed for failure. I have learned to always trust my gut."
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  November 24,2009, 3:50am
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Very accurate statement. The right relationship tends to flow and it's easy to be around each other. Sure you may get into conflict periodically, but the capacity to easily resolve it and go back to easy flow is what makes a relationship great.

If you are starting out with conflict, not really getting along, having to work at that too hard, it's not going to get better in the long run. If it's not right, it's not right - move on.
 
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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #3  November 24,2009, 4:14am
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True. But I found it an interesting read in that she may be more of a challenge than not. Doubt anyone here has had a 100% perfect relationship. If they did, chances are they would not still be here.
 
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olrowe is offline olrowe Post #4  November 24,2009, 4:14am
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I think I have to agree . . . looking back on any of my relationships, if they start out with work, it is doomed. It does not mean you wont have hiccups along the way, but the start should be mutually smooth.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  November 24,2009, 4:53am
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joeyjoe wrote :
True. But I found it an interesting read in that she may be more of a challenge than not. Doubt anyone here has had a 100% perfect relationship. If they did, chances are they would not still be here.
How in the world are you getting that out of her statement?
At a wild guess she got involved in a relationship where he chased hard, where perhaps friends were pressuring her to make things work because he just seems so perfect for her, but she knew in her gut it's not right and it did not work out in the end. Lesson learned - don't get involved in something that takes that much work from the get go. How does that make her difficult or a challenge? If anything I think it would make her more straightforward - if she is not feeling it, she is more likely to be upfront and move on.
 
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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #6  November 24,2009, 5:11am
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DancingFool wrote :
How in the world are you getting that out of her statement?
At a wild guess she got involved in a relationship where he chased hard, where perhaps friends were pressuring her to make things work because he just seems so perfect for her, but she knew in her gut it's not right and it did not work out in the end. Lesson learned - don't get involved in something that takes that much work from the get go. How does that make her difficult or a challenge? If anything I think it would make her more straightforward - if she is not feeling it, she is more likely to be upfront and move on.

I guess I try to read into profiles to get a better idea of what to possibly expect. It could mean, that she was rushed into something she was not happy with in the past. It could also mean she's waiting for Mr. 100% perfect on all levels. You know, not settling on any of the requirements she's stated in her mind (Ever see the movie The Ugly Truth). Not sure why that popped in my head either.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  November 24,2009, 5:23am
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I think she made a perfectly rational statement that for some reason you are trying to twist into something weird. Speaks more about you than her, right?

Instead of trying to nitpick a total stranger from a few written sentences, how about you talk to her, meet her in person and then use your head and more importantly your gut to see if there is even anything there worth a second date. Relax a little - dating is supposed to be a fun experience.
 
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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #8  November 24,2009, 5:28am
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DancingFool wrote :
dating is supposed to be a fun experience.
LOL. I needed a laugh before work.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #9  November 24,2009, 5:31am
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Analysis paralysis - you want to know what she means, ask her, that's a start.

I read that statement like some others here, and think it makes sense - if it is too much work at the beginning it is probably not right.

Good luck with your search.

Lilycat
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #10  November 24,2009, 7:53am
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I have made that statement before and completely agree with it.

Usually the getting to know you period is the fun time, the easy time, the exciting time. All relationships take work, but that doesn't emerge until you really settle in and start getting to know people better. Incompatibilities start showing up, etc.

If you are in the "easy" phase and you are already hitting roadblocks and having miscommunications or you are always wondering where you stand with a person, I would say the chances are bad that things will improve with time. They usually decline.
 
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