VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #1  November 23,2009, 5:16pm
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A lot of men (and women) here encourage a first meet as soon as possible.

If you are on a dating site where email is the first contact, what do you feel you need to know before setting up the first meeting?
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  November 23,2009, 5:20pm
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I mostly just want to get a sense for how well they communicate.
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #3  November 23,2009, 5:21pm
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VB_Girl wrote :
A lot of men (and women) here encourage a first meet as soon as possible.

If you are on a dating site where email is the first contact, what do you feel you need to know before setting up the first meeting?
I try to meet not "as soon as possible", but as soon as I know I'm feeling some interest in the person. This would include reading his profile and exchanging a few emails in which I can start to get a feel for personality. Spelling and grammar is one of those things that can be a huge turn-off if done poorly and can be an immediate "no meeting" if it's bad enough. After the first couple of emails I can usually start to get an idea of if this person is someone who I would want as a friend. If so, that's when it's time to see if there is chemistry and other feelings beyond, "hey - you're a pretty cool dude."
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  November 23,2009, 5:31pm
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VB_Girl wrote :
A lot of men (and women) here encourage a first meet as soon as possible.

If you are on a dating site where email is the first contact, what do you feel you need to know before setting up the first meeting?
I am presuming that you are referring to a site such as Match as opposed to OC in eHarmony.

Actually in either case I view the first e-mail as nothing more than a "Hi" and an introduction. I do not NEED to know anything before I would go out with most anyone. I do need to get some feeling that they are real and not an ax murderer but that could even come mostly from the profile or on eHarmony with the GC questions. Any questions that I will ask in e-mail can just as easily be asked in person. The responses given to the questions that I ask would likely not be determinant of my going out with them. And before you ask, no I do not need to talk on the phone in order to determine if I want to go out with them.

Unlike some I practice the policy of, go out at least once with almost anyone.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  November 23,2009, 5:32pm
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I don't "need" to know anything - but I will give up for many things revealed or implied in her profile.

Until I put my own eyes on her, and listen to her speak in real time, delaying the electronic communication can do nothing to improve her standing, and a lot to hurt it.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #6  November 23,2009, 5:37pm
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I am kind of on the fence about this one. On the one hand, all the emails and such are kind of a waste of time if there's no chemistry once you meet.

However, it does feel safer to me to interact by email first and get some idea of whether the person is too weird to meet.

I would say as long as you meet in a public place, tell someone where you are going and when you expect to return, and make sure they aren't following you home, I think you should be OK to meet them fairly early.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #7  November 23,2009, 6:04pm
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For the guys that don't need much, would your answer be different if the profile didn't contain much detail?
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #8  November 23,2009, 6:15pm
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It seems like the vast majority of my most recent matches have been shy on info. Its partly what is in the profile sometimes, quality over quantity.

There are plenty with way too much quantity that says absolutely nothing! As for meeting in person I try to get that done as reasonably soon as possible after deciding to open communication. Phone calls are not necessary for me, but fine if she would like to before meeting.

Face to face is best for me to see and be able to get a good sense of the person and listen very carefully to my gut instincts. If my gut sounds an alarm thats it for me. No second warning is needed. Hope this helps.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #9  November 23,2009, 6:17pm
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I think the same rules apply, send a few messages back and forth, move to phone and then if there is still chemistry there after communicating for a certain period of time than make arrangements to meet for the first time.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #10  November 23,2009, 6:24pm
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VB_Girl wrote :
A lot of men (and women) here encourage a first meet as soon as possible.

If you are on a dating site where email is the first contact, what do you feel you need to know before setting up the first meeting?
name or at least what they loo like, but copiy of the times unde the left arm will do as well, and where and when to met. That's it. The rest is just fluff.
 
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