does persistance pay off?


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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #1  November 23,2009, 7:38am
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I have a question for the guys (in particular) but gals feel free to respond how you react to a similar situation. According to a guy friend of mine, he can be pursued until he gives in even if he has no long term interest. So basically I am asking have you ever been pursued by a person long enough that you finally said, what the heck and went out on a date with them? Were you pleasantly surprised or did you hit yourself in the head afterwards saying, what the heck was I thinking?
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #2  November 23,2009, 8:05am
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Nope, never happened to me.

There is such a thing as too much persistence. If I have no interest at all, it would only be annoying. If I'm borderline, maybe, but it hasn't happened yet.

Ask yourself this - would you really want to be with a guy who is only dating you because he got tired of saying 'no' and 'gave in?' Would you ever really be sure of his love?
I'm all for a woman doing a little pursuit and showing interest, but to me if it's going to continue it needs to be returned at least a little.
 
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Sawyer76 is offline Sawyer76 Post #3  November 23,2009, 8:12am
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I have been pursued and it didn't work. I feel that if you aren't interested in someone, nothing they do can really change that. I went out with a guy and didn't really feel a connection. Went on a second date just to try one more time but again, nothing. He pursued me for the next month or so with nice phone calls, texts, offers to take me out but none of it worked.

Sometimes being too persistent can annoy the other person so that's a hard line to walk without stepping over.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #4  November 23,2009, 8:37am
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This is an easy question.

Its all about the pursuee. Do they really want to be pursued. If yes, then persistence works, If no, then all it will do is annoy them.

And in all honesty, do you really want to be with someone who pretty much "gives up" to go out with you?
 
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olrowe is offline olrowe Post #5  November 23,2009, 8:47am
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Sawyer76 wrote :
I have been pursued and it didn't work. I feel that if you aren't interested in someone, nothing they do can really change that. I went out with a guy and didn't really feel a connection. Went on a second date just to try one more time but again, nothing. He pursued me for the next month or so with nice phone calls, texts, offers to take me out but none of it worked.

Sometimes being too persistent can annoy the other person so that's a hard line to walk without stepping over.
I have to agree with this. I was pursued once and gave in only out of feeling badly (after standing him up for New Years Eve). It was the worse relationship I had. it lasted 4 months too long and it is not from not trying on my part. If there is no general interest to start with, it becomes too much work and is not likely to last.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  November 23,2009, 8:53am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Depends what you mean by 'pay off'. Most of the single men I know don't even need a woman to be 'persistent'. If she's interested and willing....they're perfectly happy to see her and hopefully have sex with her. If you mean a man who isn't interested in a LTR with a woman and her persistently trying to interest him in one....I've never seen that happen. One of the few women I met off eH told me about a married man who pursued her for a year...until she finally gave in and slept with him. Real class act.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  November 23,2009, 9:02am
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Dafearon wrote :
This is an easy question.

Its all about the pursuee. Do they really want to be pursued. If yes, then persistence works, If no, then all it will do is annoy them.

And in all honesty, do you really want to be with someone who pretty much "gives up" to go out with you?
+1

If you chase after someone who is not that into you, all you are doing is volunteering to be a placeholder until something better comes along.
Last edited by DancingFool; November 23,2009 at 9:25am.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #8  November 23,2009, 9:14am

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I think this may change with age and experience dating.
For a younger man or woman, it may feel as though the person calling and asking for dates must really like then and thus it might be perceived as an ego boost. Same sort of games played in high school with teens going after another person because it makes them look sexy or virile or because someone else has them, so they must be desirable.

JMO but as we grow older and learn to set boundaries about our life, being persued may feel like being stalked.

Roxy
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  November 23,2009, 9:21am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  November 23,2009, 9:22am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Dafearon wrote :
This is an easy question.

Its all about the pursuee. Do they really want to be pursued. If yes, then persistence works, If no, then all it will do is annoy them.

And in all honesty, do you really want to be with someone who pretty much "gives up" to go out with you?
I agree with this.
 
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