So am I out of line here or what?


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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #21  November 20,2009, 3:54pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
There are a lot of people that are emotionally ready to date even during a divorce.
I expect you're right and that there are some. The practical problem is we don't know which people these are. This is one reason that I'd avoid dating anyone who isn't legally divorced.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #22  November 20,2009, 4:03pm

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newbie40something wrote :
Jo, appreciate what you said about some people being emotionally ready to date during a divorce. Someone else mentioned to wait a year after a divorce to date. I have only been officiallly divorced for 2 months. I had a whole bunch of stuff dumped on me at the same time. (You know what I am talking about) But, I let myself reallly grieve this past year. Up until about a month before the official divorce I wasn't interested whatsoever in dating. I let myself concentrate on myself and my feelings and once again, really grieve. I truly feel you have to do that. So, in August I decided I really want someone in my life. I miss affection and someone to share my life with. Once I decided I was ready to date, I reallly was ready to date. (Now, if I can just find someone to date. LOL)
I met my ex-boyfriend when I was going through my divorce. We were best friends and started dating two weeks after my divorce was final. It lasted three years. The end was a long story but it had nothing to do with how or when we met.

After we broke up I wanted to be alone, to sort and to heal. When I was healed I wanted to date again. I was amazed how many guys said I was rebounding and was not emotionally ready. Now I could have accepted that they were seeing something I was missing. Problem was they were quoting time schedules that they read in some book or magazine.

Everyone is different and for the most part we know ourselves pretty well.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #23  November 20,2009, 4:06pm
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JayJay, I agree about not dating until legally divorced. I just don't want to wait a year to date. This might be an interesting thread.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #24  November 20,2009, 4:08pm
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Again, good post Jo. Well said!
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #25  November 20,2009, 4:08pm

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jayjay wrote :
I expect you're right and that there are some. The practical problem is we don't know which people these are. This is one reason that I'd avoid dating anyone who isn't legally divorced.
I understand completely. I only wish that those that are healed would get a fair shake. It is so frustrating when you know yourself and when you are ready but there are those stupid time lines people judge you by.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #26  November 20,2009, 4:13pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I understand completely. I only wish that those that are healed would get a fair shake. It is so frustrating when you know yourself and when you are ready but there are those stupid time lines people judge you by.
Do you think not dating someone until they are legally divorced is not giving them a 'fair shake'?
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #27  November 20,2009, 4:13pm

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newbie40something wrote :
Again, good post Jo. Well said!
Thanks.

Ya know I should drag you to Buffalo (not wild wings) tomorrow. Do you like beer you can chew? They have a Bourbon barrel aged Stout on tap that is sooo yummy.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #28  November 20,2009, 4:16pm

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jayjay wrote :
Do you think not dating someone until they are legally divorced is not giving them a 'fair shake'?
Yes, that is reasonable. Friends are fine but I admit it is difficult. I didn't expect to date my ex-boyfriend so quick after the divorce was final but we really were just good friends before that.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #29  November 20,2009, 4:46pm
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That sounds great, Jo. I might just take you up on that sometime. Seriously!

JayJay, I totally understand why you feel that way. I don't know if I would date someone that is not legally divorced yet. By the way, I have been legally divorced for 2 months. I just really, really don't want to wait a year. So.....if things don't work out with your chiquita.........JUST KIDDING! LOL
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #30  November 20,2009, 4:52pm
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In this case though he said she was dumping on him. If she had been mourning it and was ready, she would of not unloaded that on him.

Some people may be ready, I just feel this woman was not...with him anyways,
 
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