Safety precautions and dating


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  November 19,2009, 5:23pm
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Whether with someone you met online, or someone you met "in the wild" (at a bar, party, church -- face-to-face first meeting) what precautions do you take to ensure your safety when dating new people?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  November 19,2009, 5:26pm
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I don't go into bad neighborhoods, or excessively late at night.

I won't meet women who do not communicate as I am accustomed to professionals speaking.

I screen profiles and communication carefully.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #3  November 19,2009, 5:48pm
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Pretty basic for me, I will get his number make arrangements for a time to call, and block mine. Phone first is a pretty good screening tool for me. If that conversation goes well, I will usually just give him mine towards the end of it.

First meeting always in a public place, with lots of people around. Always make sure that someone knows where I am going, and when I am supposed to be back. If that goes well (I listen to my gut, and most people are harmless) giving out my address, etc. I have no problem with. My building does have good security and it is hard for someone to just turn up at my door, that is a factor in my method.

Pretty simple and straightforward, but it works for me.

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nightling is offline nightling Post #4  November 19,2009, 7:57pm
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I blocked the telephone number on my last date and glad I did. The guy has some issues with appropriate boundaries ... stalking total strangers to break into their homes at 2 a.m. and leave Christmas gifts ... I was watching my rearview mirror the whole way home.

Met him halfway at a public place, so he wasn't near anywhere that I live.

I am honestly having a lot of third and fourth thoughts about this online dating thing.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #5  November 19,2009, 8:08pm
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I agree -
* public place for coffee on first meet...
*arrive first, buy my own coffee, and be comfortable with my surroundings before he comes in
*park away from the front door so my car is my business
*tell someone ahead of time where I'm going and have them call me an hour after the meet (this is a 'rule' my daughters have made 'cause they worry about mom)

all that being said, I've never had a problem with being stalked or harassed.
much is about not appearing vulnerable from the first, taking ownership for my own expenses and being assertive about boundaries.
 
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MikeIsPerpetuallySingle is offline MikeIsPerpetuallySingle Post #6  November 19,2009, 8:29pm
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As a guy, this is something that I've never thought of for myself, it's more a question of what she feels comfortable with. While it's interesting to see what safety precautions the women here take, I think it could be possibly more interesting to see what in vivo precautions the guys would suggest. D_Lion seemed to get us started at least, I think his post was indicative of the issue of pre-screening as the biggest precaution we guys need to take, like if we meet online and she gives a 900 number to call her on for instance.

I have to admit though, I have been tempted (and encourage by my best friend's wife) to administer a personality test or two when I meet someone. Not the hokey ones online, but the actual ones that you have to have a degree to purchase and administer.
Last edited by MikeIsPerpetuallySingle; November 19,2009 at 8:32pm.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  November 20,2009, 8:28am
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
I agree -
* public place for coffee on first meet...
*arrive first, buy my own coffee, and be comfortable with my surroundings before he comes in
*park away from the front door so my car is my business
*tell someone ahead of time where I'm going and have them call me an hour after the meet (this is a 'rule' my daughters have made 'cause they worry about mom)

all that being said, I've never had a problem with being stalked or harassed.
much is about not appearing vulnerable from the first, taking ownership for my own expenses and being assertive about boundaries.
It is a myth that only those who appear vulnerable get stalked. There are plenty of celebrities, some of them male, who can attest to that.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  November 20,2009, 8:58am
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I arrange to meet at a public place with a lot of people around. In other words a restaurant.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #9  November 20,2009, 9:01am
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I always tell my daughter where I'm going and who I'll be with and also leave a note with all the info I have on my desk. My son-in-law and a good friend of mine both work in the police and I always get that into the conversation in a casual way.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #10  November 20,2009, 11:31am
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To be honest, I don't really take any precautions for myself particularly, but more with her in mind....the usual first date in a very public place where we each get there by our own means of transportation.
 
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