Dating and insecurity

That sounds pretty much on. Their whole perspective seems so different. Like as myself, her and 4 other members of her family were talking on my bad Sunday morning I commented that it's so unusual for me to go home with a date and stay at her family's house. The Aunt jokingly commented that I probably went home with just the woman....and my date laughed and chimed in 'yes, I think you went home with the woman'. They seem pretty naive as to the kinds of dating realities I'm used to.

Yes...the asking questions sounds good, and I'll try to do so when I realize something might not be clear. Mostly I think I'm just going to try to suck it up and be around without being needy. Wish me luck.

You are in an entirely different world than you are used to operating in - the cultural differences are major (yes, I recall reading other posts about her and the situation).

In this world, very little happens in the way you are used to - that might be contributing to your insecurity. But, again referring to my impression from other things you have written, it is a world where you appear to be starting to become comfortable.

You might be feeling insecure because she is not responding to you in the way you are used to so your usual indications of the level of interest, etc., are not there. You are stepping out of your comfort zone and know not quite what to expect here. Your usual benchmarks do not exist (we all have them)

All that being said, you sound like you are liking the whole experience IMHO. The traditional situation you have described, very family oriented, well, girls from families like that don't do casual dating, and they certainly do not spend excessive amounts of time alone with men they are not engaged or married to.......

She likes you or she would never have had you meet the family. That much I can say for certain.

Don't let the insecurities take hold, but if she is easing off on communication, well, there just might be a step you are supposed to be taking here.......
How traditional is her family, and do you have any reasonably close friends who intimately know the culture? If you do, talk to them about the situation and find out what you are supposed to be doing next, if anything, and what it means.

You need to learn a whole new set of norms here, but you know some people are worth it...... big time!

Lilycat

Drats JayJay...if you're insecure, who else can I look up to around here!

You're one of the pillars of ehA....don't ever forget that!!!

Ha. Don't put me on your pillar.

Your friend is of the culture? Or he is an American also?

I’ve done quite a bit of dating in the last 2 ½ years after my divorce. I’ve gone on a lot of 1st and 2nd dates and dated several women for a few months. Most of these relationships weren’t exclusive, but a couple of them were for at least a month or two and I quite liked these women, especially one of them. Never during my time dating any of these women did I have any feelings of insecurity or confusion.

However, I’ve been feeling quite insecure and confused in my present dating situation. I find myself frequently wondering if the woman I’m seeing is actually interested in me….despite the fact that she has always (so far) said she wants to see me the following weekend, will occasionally do things like put my arm around her etc. I do stupid things like start feeling she might no longer be interested in me when I don’t receive an email from her.

I’ve always thought of myself and felt myself to be a pretty secure person. I also would have thought that ‘once secure….always secure’….but I find myself in the unusual situation where I’m feeling this way. I wonder if part of the reason is because I’m genuinely interested in this woman…which is something quite rare for me, so I don’t want to lose this opportunity.

Any thoughts on this matter? Have you ever felt insecure when beginning to date someone? Has this been something rare or common for you? This is such an unusual and unpleasant feeling for me…that I’m actually starting to wonder if it could be a sign that something isn’t right with this potential relationship.

I am so interested in your situation, jayjay. You sound very smitten with this young lady. I agree with many of the comments about consulting with your friend who is married to one of the sisters. Are the sisters alike? What happened during his "courting" period? What does he know about your girl? Her previous dating experience? The family? I think it is definitely a cultural difference. How can that not throw you for a loop? It's not something that you are familiar with. Like I said, it sounds like you are very smitten and I wish you luck. Hope you get to spend time with her alone soon.