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jayjay jayjay is offline
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jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

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neardc wrote :
I'm curious... From the picture you had up we could see that she is young and pretty. And, we know you have a "thing" for Latina chicks. But, what makes her special otherwise? I certainly haven't read all of your posts about this relationship, so may have missed this, but why else are you pursuing her? Why are you especially drawn to her in a deeper way? What does she potentially offer you? What makes her an interesting and desirable person to you beyond her superficial beauty? Or, at this point are you just hoping that there is more there (given that you haven't actually had much of a chance to talk with her one-on-one to get to know her...)?
Young, pretty and Latina....you think I need more reasons than these? Seriously, from the little I've observed of her interacting with myself and others, as well as what my friend has told me about her and that he wanted to introduce the two of us because we're both 'really good people'....she seems like the kind of woman I look for, at least in general terms. There is obviously a lot more that I'd need to learn about her. Oh, and did I mention that she's young, pretty and latina?
- November 21st, 2009, 01:34 pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
Well, this is going to be an interesting ride, JayJay. I think you are going to have to throw out the usual play book on this one.

I would take your lead from your friend's wife. I think she is your best bet to keep your finger on the pulse of how this is progressing.

I really do hope it works out for you with this one.
Yeah....though when I talked to his wife I felt like I was talking to the one I'm seeing (identical triplets). Even my friend's 3 y.o. son calls the sister I'm seeing 'mama' when he sees her. lol
- November 21st, 2009, 01:37 pm
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jayjay wrote :
Oh, and did I mention that she's young, pretty and latina?
Noooooooo!! Really?

Well, I hope that the real her lives up to the imagined her, and that she is imagining nice things about you as well.
- November 21st, 2009, 02:05 pm
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neardc wrote :
Noooooooo!! Really?

Well, I hope that the real her lives up to the imagined her, and that she is imagining nice things about you as well.
Which is the imagined part?
- November 21st, 2009, 02:06 pm
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I feel insecure when I really like someone and there is no real comittment, things could still change. Even if they are giving me no indication that things could end, my investment and feelings and genuine 'like' and fear of loss can make me insecure.

It is both good and bad....

Good because I know how I feel, bad because it can cause me to sabotage things.

I've had to have serious talks with myself about this
- November 21st, 2009, 02:24 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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cp30 wrote :
I feel insecure when I really like someone and there is no real comittment, things could still change. Even if they are giving me no indication that things could end, my investment and feelings and genuine 'like' and fear of loss can make me insecure.

It is both good and bad....

Good because I know how I feel, bad because it can cause me to sabotage things.

I've had to have serious talks with myself about this
What did yourself have to say? What kind of sabotaging have you done? So for you does that insecurity go away when there is commitment?
- November 21st, 2009, 02:36 pm
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jayjay wrote :
Which is the imagined part?
Well, you barely know her. You are taking your friend's word that she is the type of woman you want (although you consider him to be a superficial person). And, you are imagining that indeed this is the case, especially since she is also very physically appealing (and so far you don't see anything to contradict that your friend is right). But, most of what you know about her at this point is simply what you see about her physically. The rest is imagined; you don't really know her (if you did, she would seem very distinct from her triplet sisters ).

And that's fine. I was just curious to know if there was anything deeper at this point.
- November 21st, 2009, 02:37 pm
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neardc wrote :
I was just curious to know if there was anything deeper at this point.
No, not really. It's pretty much just an 'interest' stage at this point. And you need to make some allowances for me. We can't all be as enlightened as you.
- November 21st, 2009, 02:40 pm
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Happens to me when I am around my SO too, and I am not so sure as to why. He brought it up to, that I seemed to be out of my element when I was with him ( thing is , I think he gets that way too) . It just boils down to , you really want this one to work out, because you like and are beginning to fall for them big time, and you really are wondering if your heart can handle rejection. Once you are over that feeling of a possible rejection, which probably won't be coming anyways, just you being you, then it's over. I think of it as part of the dating/ getting more serious situation. It's normal.
- November 21st, 2009, 03:11 pm
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jayjay wrote :
No, not really. It's pretty much just an 'interest' stage at this point. And you need to make some allowances for me. We can't all be as enlightened as you.
That was needlessly snarky.

I was serious when I said I think that it's fine that the primary draw at this point is based primarily on what she looks like. You start somewhere, and that's usually with physical attraction (and you've been clear in your posts that this is something that is very important to you in any event). You appear to be putting a lot more effort into pursuing this woman than you do most, though (and it's causing you more than the usual amount of confusion/angst), and that's why I asked my initial questions.
- November 21st, 2009, 03:18 pm
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