she's giving me the vibes


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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #1  November 12,2009, 9:03am
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I just want some input on a situation...

I'm a music student. There's this cello player who looks at me every time she gets out of orchestra. The other night I was stage manager for a concert. She was playing in several pieces, and we made eye contact about five times, once for a very long moment as if we already knew each other.

I would normally jump on this, but she is a freshman and I'm almost 23. Maybe it's silly, but I feel really weird showing interest to a girl who is so young. When I think back to how I was as an 18-year-old, if I had dated at all back then, it would have been a disaster because I was so immature. I understand that's projecting myself onto this person, but I think it's still something to consider.

I am going to introduce myself to her, but I'm afraid it will be "not the right place", because I only see her when she's in transit from one place to another. But I don't see her anywhere else.

Sorry to ramble. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Thanks!
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #2  November 12,2009, 9:20am
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Just smile and say hi, start with that.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #3  November 12,2009, 9:32am
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Georgetheman wrote :
When I think back to how I was as an 18-year-old, if I had dated at all back then, it would have been a disaster because I was so immature. I understand that's projecting myself onto this person, but I think it's still something to consider.
I don't think you are projecting at all. 18-year-olds are immature. The teenage brain isn't fully developed and people change a lot between 18 and 23. I don't normally think 5 years is a big age difference, except at the earliest years of adulthood--then it is a huge difference.

It's fine if you want to consider being her first college boyfriend though. You're both young, really, and could have fun and learn from the experience. Good luck.
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #4  November 12,2009, 9:47am
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That's kind of what I was thinking. 21 vs. 25 or 41 vs 45 is not a big difference, but 18 vs 22 is different.

Well, at the least I will say hi to her and stop trying to imagine every possible scenario that might come from it LOL!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  November 12,2009, 9:51am

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I'd say go ahead...it's good that she transits from one place to another, if things didn't work out then you don't have that problem of seeing her all the time.

(I want to include a phrase "Play you like fiddle" somewhere, but somehow I just can't work it in! Drats!)
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #6  November 12,2009, 11:30am
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I would go for it as well.

I think that people grow up a lot after that first year of college & while you are getting to know her she will be becoming more & more mature.

Don't hold back at all.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #7  November 12,2009, 11:40am
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Girls at 18 are much more mature than guys at that age so I would definitely not be concerned about the age difference. Good luck with it
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #8  November 12,2009, 11:46am

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Georgetheman wrote :
That's kind of what I was thinking. 21 vs. 25 or 41 vs 45 is not a big difference, but 18 vs 22 is different.

Well, at the least I will say hi to her and stop trying to imagine every possible scenario that might come from it LOL!
Age is and always will be relative. My older daughter is 19 but maturity acts like someone who is 25+ my son is 21 and I would put him at 16 on a good day.

Talk to her, you may be surprised.
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #9  November 12,2009, 11:47am
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Just had to chime in here. My daughter is 18 and her boyfriend will turn 23 next week. They've been together for 18 months. She's young but wise - very mature. Funnily enough, she plays cello too.

Anyway, you have nothing to lose by being friendly. You might find a new friend or it might progress to something else. Whatever it is, it's all good.
 
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thefastcat is offline thefastcat Post #10  November 12,2009, 12:29pm
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A question you need to answer yourself is what will happen two years from now (one year, 10 years?) if you *don't* do anything. I have a handful of these opportunities that I never did anything with and I regret them all. Especially the naughty ones. You have much more to learn by going for it than if you just ignore it and you should never feel embarrassed or improper when someone likes you (though yes easier said than done).

TBH though she sounds pretty feisty to be staring down the conductor who is 5 years older than her. Ask her over to your place to watch "The Red Violin" and see what happens. Don't cellists do it in a chair with their legs spread?


edit "feisty. that rule "i before e except after c" is more like a sometimes
Last edited by thefastcat; November 12,2009 at 4:32pm.
 
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