zenoran is offline zenoran Post #1  November 11,2009, 1:54pm
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I'm the kind of person who always thinks about the last person he was with even after the relationship has ended. It really makes it difficult to jump into dating but meeting other people is usually the only thing that helps me get over an ex.

I really don't like the dating game... I never have.... even after being single for months at a time it's just always a hassle and I wish there was a way to skip over it.

Anyways, just wanted to get some thoughts on if I should be dating or not when not over the "planned out" future I had with an ex?
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #2  November 11,2009, 2:04pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Yep. I hear ya. If I'm honest I don't want to 'date' anyone but my ex but equally I don't want to be alone forever so gotta shape up and get back in that saddle.

These boards are full of people who find dating complicated, irritating and fraught with disaster but still hold out hope for being in love again one day. So we're not alone.

Also I couldn't help but notice that you are young and handsome.

So after careful consideration and in conclusion, yes, you should be dating.
 
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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #3  November 11,2009, 2:10pm
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is Mrs. Rix! At last!

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I'm wired the same way. Don't worry about it. I have gone a very very long time between love interests and still think about the old guy till the new guy comes along. My experience is, waiting longer between love interests hasn't changed a thing.

If you think you are duplicating mistakes in new relationships because of being hung up on old relationships, then maybe you need some time out to work on yourself, think over your relationships, see a counselor etc. But otherwise it only makes you pine over your last relationship longer.
 
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zenoran is offline zenoran Post #4  November 11,2009, 2:14pm
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Well, dating is difficult for me because I guess I'm picky based on past experiences and not wanting to waste more time on something that isn't going to go anywhere...

However, if there is chemistry with someone (and I usually know really fast), it's what starts the process of me filtering the past relationship out of my head to start to make room for the new one.

I don't really bring past relationship problems into new ones, I try to keep them completely out of it, actually.
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #5  November 11,2009, 2:21pm
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I just went through a breakup and I have decided this for myself, I don't know if it will help you but...if you are thinking about your ex while on the date, shortly after the date, and upset when anyone but your ex shows up...no I don't think its good. I actually got tears at one point, he didn't see but all I could think about was missing my ex.

If you can go out on a date, not think about your ex, only sometimes think about your ex but still find yourself thinking about someone new it's probably ok...as long as the new person takes up most of the space you are at least open to someone new.

Some people we will just love until we die but if everyone who wasn't totally over someone didn't date not many people would be dating right now.
Last edited by indigirl1975; November 11,2009 at 2:21pm. Reason: I spelled threw and not through but I caught it right away
 
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zenoran is offline zenoran Post #6  November 11,2009, 2:43pm
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indigirl1975 wrote :
Some people we will just love until we die but if everyone who wasn't totally over someone didn't date not many people would be dating right now.
I still love all my previous loves... things didn't work out for various reasons but I never stop loving them.

I guess I'll try to crawl out of my hole and paint a smile on my face and start up the dating game again...
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #7  November 11,2009, 2:58pm
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Just remember there is loving someone and being in love. If you are still in love you may want to give it some time, if you love her...you are human it would be weird if you didn't.
 
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zenoran is offline zenoran Post #8  November 11,2009, 3:02pm
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In Love?

Who can ever really say what that means.

Yes, I wanted things to work with my ex but I'm also the person who broke up because I saw it wasn't.

Ugh...
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #9  November 11,2009, 3:17pm
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Ohhhh....I think there is a huge difference but to me, you are ready. Go get em tiger!
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #10  November 11,2009, 11:57pm
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I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

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Someone here had a quote that I like:

"There's a reason that your windshield is larger than your rear view mirror."
 
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