Women: Your Impression Paying by Cash or Credit


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Skyking6976 is offline Skyking6976 Post #1  November 11,2009, 6:41am
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I have always been curious as to what women think if you're first date is a nice dinner and the guy looks at the bill and just reaches in his pocket and throws one or two hundred dollars bills down vs. opening his wallet and letting you see that he has 2-3 credit cards.

I understand your age may be a factor as well. It may be okay for a younger guy say early 20's who might have budgeted for the meal and has a wad of ones, fives, tens and a twenty or two to pay while a woman in my age range (40's early 50's) would probably freak out.

Hope this hasn't been asked\answered. I did a quick search and didn't see anything exactly like this.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #2  November 11,2009, 6:49am
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For me, it depends. If he takes out his cash and there's a huge wad of bills, that's a little off-putting. It looks like he's trying to impress me with how much money he supposedly has. An appropriate amount of cash is fine, though.

Payng with a credit card seems to be the norm, and it doesn't always mean they're in debt. Many people use them for convenience and pay them off each month.

Now if he pays with a credit card and it's declined... not a good sign.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #3  November 11,2009, 6:59am

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I can't say I've ever paid attention to what's going on in other people's wallets. I usually look elsewhere, but then again, I've never had a guy flash his wallet under my nose, so it's hard to say what my reaction would be.
 
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Sawyer76 is offline Sawyer76 Post #4  November 11,2009, 7:03am
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Doesn't make any difference to me either way. If the guy pulled out a huge wad of cash that would be a turn off because it's more flashy than practical nowadays with debit cards being so convenient. To me, it would indicate he basically took all the money he had and stuffed it in his pocket to try to show off.

If he pulled out his money and threw down 1 or 2 hundred dollar bills, I would just assume he went to the bank before coming to dinner so that he had enough of cash on him. I've had guys do both, pay with their credit/debit card and pay with a $100 bill and neither left a better impression over the other.
 
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Skyking6976 is offline Skyking6976 Post #5  November 11,2009, 7:11am
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Ya, it's funny. In my line of work I deal with some very wealthy guys and it's amazing that most of them rarely carry more than $20-30 unless they are traveling, then they may have $1,000 or more in their pocket.

I know a guy who is financially secure but caries a couple of fake cards...one is the black American Express Centurion card but pays with his debit card that looks pretty fancy. He had a couple of women ask what the "black" card was. Just said it was another American Express card, didn't make a big deal about it but the women called him an hour or so after their first meeting, telling him how much they enjoyed time with him and wondering when they were going to get together again.

I've learned that depending on age, money moves WAY up the scale of importance and I've told him not to blow off women who's interest seems to increase based on how financially secure we are.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  November 11,2009, 7:29am
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As long as he can come up with his half of the bill, and is not stingy about tipping, I don't care how he pays it. Let's talk about who pays!
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #7  November 11,2009, 7:33am
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first, i won't like any guy who makes the first date into something that would require hundred dollar bills. this is because A) the date will be too long and B) i'm not interested in a performance, which such a dinner implies.

second, hundred dollar bills are tacky. breaking them is a pain in the you-know-what. pay in twenties if you must.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #8  November 11,2009, 7:37am
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Skyking6976 wrote :
Ya, it's funny. In my line of work I deal with some very wealthy guys and it's amazing that most of them rarely carry more than $20-30 unless they are traveling, then they may have $1,000 or more in their pocket.

I know a guy who is financially secure but caries a couple of fake cards...one is the black American Express Centurion card but pays with his debit card that looks pretty fancy. He had a couple of women ask what the "black" card was. Just said it was another American Express card, didn't make a big deal about it but the women called him an hour or so after their first meeting, telling him how much they enjoyed time with him and wondering when they were going to get together again.

I've learned that depending on age, money moves WAY up the scale of importance and I've told him not to blow off women who's interest seems to increase based on how financially secure we are.
He carries fake cards, then if someone notices a strange black one since he is flashing his wallet somehow for her to notice it, it is an automatic discard if she follows up the date with interest? He is making a huge assumption about all women -- if someone has lots of cards in their wallet, it doesn't tell me anything about their financial security, responsibility or level of debt. To me, it's no information about the person at all.

I'm glad you've told him not to blow off women who seek financial security--or who may simply be making conversation based on something very obviously presented to them during the date.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  November 11,2009, 7:41am
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Skyking6976 wrote :
Women: Your Impression Paying by Cash or Credit
To me, it is irrelevant. I typically pay in restaurants for myself with plastic as it is more convenient, but there are occasions when I go to the ATM to load up my wallet--especially when I am planning to split the check.

I think the choice of restaurant says much more about a man than how the bill is being paid, along with how he treats the wait staff and (if I see it) his attitude toward tipping.
 
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Skyking6976 is offline Skyking6976 Post #10  November 11,2009, 7:52am
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lil_lamb, maybe it's just me but I always say we have to eat so lets just go out to dinner, have a glass or two of wine and if nothing else just enjoy each other's company for an hour or so. I always enjoy a woman's company regardless of whether I'm attracted to them or I'll see them again. I'm not shy and can always carry a conversation by asking questions or make her laugh and loosen up a bit...it's fun.

Actually, I've never had a date go well where she just wanted to do a quick meet over coffee a drink or quick lunch.

Back to the subject, I have paid with cash using hundreds or whatever but It's because I just got back in town a day or so before and will tell the woman that so she doesn't think I'm being tacky, showing off, I'm a gangster or have bad credit, no bank account, etc.
 
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