taking your s.o. to a wedding


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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #1  November 9,2009, 7:14pm
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Question: after what period of time is is appropriate to invite your new gf/bf to attend a wedding with you?

Couple of things to keep in mind specifically:
- is length of time that you've been dating important/relevant, & if so how long?
- seriousness of the relationship
- worry of introducing new person to friends & if it doesn't work out having to explain / answer questions on the topic since now they've met him/her
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  November 9,2009, 7:16pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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When I first glanced at this thread title I thought I saw an ".b" in the title. That might have made an interesting thread as well.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #3  November 9,2009, 7:21pm
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I think for me it would depend on the type of crowd that would be at the wedding.

Is it going to be a good party? Are there a reasonable amount of people of similar age to the both of you?

If I thought that an SO would have a good time & I would enjoy her being there then it wouldn't matter to me how long or serious the relationship was.
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #4  November 9,2009, 7:28pm
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bigfincat wrote :
If I thought that an SO would have a good time & I would enjoy her being there then it wouldn't matter to me how long or serious the relationship was.
I don't think this is the issue for me. I think we would have a good time, but I was wondering more if it would be rude (to the hosts or others) to bring someone that wasn't necessarily "the one" (in my head) to a wedding.

Also was not wanting to have to explain later why we broke up (assuming we did) because now ppl have met him and are wondering since I don't normally introduce people until there is a level of emotional seriousness.

p.s. jayjay, very funny.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  November 9,2009, 7:32pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I don't think you need to worry about not taking someone to a wedding unless 'they're the one'. As you as I knew my date well enough to be comfortable that she wouldn't act in an embarrassing way then I wouldn't mind taking her.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #6  November 9,2009, 7:46pm

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Length of time or seriousness of the relationship is not important for me, If I am dating someone that means they are fun, Why not have fun together!

I love my family and friends.. I don't feel I would need to explain anything to them if it didn't not work out with my date..

I don't think it's rude to the hosts. The card usually reads "xxxx and guest". Unless the bride is a bridezilla.. I don't think they really care. They want you to enjoy yourself on their special day.

I would view this as a great oppurtunity. Your date gets to interact with all your friends and family in a fun atmosphere. Love is in the air.There is no judging dates at weddings! lol... judging the bridesmaids is allowed!
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; November 9,2009 at 8:39pm.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #7  November 9,2009, 8:34pm

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And judging by the bridesmaids is allowed.

I don't think you need to worry either, Mangosteen. Are you worried that weddings are hard for you and that you should only be allowed to bring "the one"?

If you can handle it and have fun and not make it a big deal, then I say go for it.
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #8  November 9,2009, 8:55pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
I don't think you need to worry either, Mangosteen. Are you worried that weddings are hard for you and that you should only be allowed to bring "the one"?

If you can handle it and have fun and not make it a big deal, then I say go for it.
Well, let's see. Maybe this is my personal thing because in the past, I have had one friend request (verbally) I only bring a date if it was someone serious and another person actually ask me not to bring anyone, even though I was dating someone seriously at the time (we were not married though). She explained that this had to do with the cost per head of the wedding... basically, not bringing someone to save a few (or more) bucks. (In the case of this upcoming wedding, the invite says me + guest, with no other caveats...) So am I hearing that this is a pretty weird thing to ask? All I keep hearing about friends' weddings are how expensive they are...

On the second topic, which I'm less concerned about, is expectations of friends. I'm pretty sure my friends are wanting to see me happy, whether it is with this person or someone else. If my parents were to be there, it'd be different, because in their case they would get so excited I was dating someone and be hoping for *so much more* that it'd be hard to talk to them about why things didn't work out. Writing this out makes this second point seem really silly too. I know they just want me to be happy, above all.

But what about the first question?
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #9  November 9,2009, 9:00pm

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I think you have had the few odd experiences. I think an invite plus guest - means that - an invite plus guest. lol!

But here is the thing, if you are so worried about it ahead of time, I would only ask when YOU are comfortable doing so, when it is not a big deal to you.

***

As for friends and family, I am the type that pretty much does what I want, within reason. If my friends or family were to make a big deal over something that is not a big deal yet, I would not bring a date. I would just go single and smile and nod. And drink myself silly.

That way people don't ask me why I am single. They know why.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #10  November 9,2009, 9:03pm
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Mangosteen wrote :
Well, let's see. Maybe this is my personal thing because in the past, I have had one friend request (verbally) I only bring a date if it was someone serious and another person actually ask me not to bring anyone, even though I was dating someone seriously at the time (we were not married though). She explained that this had to do with the cost per head of the wedding... basically, not bringing someone to save a few (or more) bucks. (In the case of this upcoming wedding, the invite says me + guest, with no other caveats...) So am I hearing that this is a pretty weird thing to ask? All I keep hearing about friends' weddings are how expensive they are...

On the second topic, which I'm less concerned about, is expectations of friends. I'm pretty sure my friends are wanting to see me happy, whether it is with this person or someone else. If my parents were to be there, it'd be different, because in their case they would get so excited I was dating someone and be hoping for *so much more* that it'd be hard to talk to them about why things didn't work out. Writing this out makes this second point seem really silly too. I know they just want me to be happy, above all.

But what about the first question?
I would expect that the host would be completely OK with you bringing a date as long as the expense was covered. It would just cost you twice as much as going solo.

If they invite you & a guest then they should be fine with you accepting that.
 
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