Well, I think a Lady should ask me Out!

Football season ends?

Yes. In the northeast, we have three months of football and nine months of political scandals.

But if her attempts to get something going result in the man viewing her more negatively than if she had done nothing, then the momentum isn't going to build.

Is it just me or is this entire thread a bit confusing?

Here's the way I see it. Some men seem not to have read these ivory tower articles about how it's ok for the woman to initiate. This particular set of men seem to assume a great deal about you when you initiate ... such things as that you are easy, that you just want to get l a i d, that they are going to get lucky, that you are lonely and desperate enough for a one - night stand.

Some of them can be quite ... obnoxious ... on the point when they find out that wasn't what you meant at all, and they are not at all interested in getting to know you.

I'm personally not afraid to initiate for fear of rejection ... it's more these assumptions that some of them seem to make about you.

I have learned personally that it's best to do no more than offer a friendly smile and some conversation. That establishes you have an interest in them, As I see it, if they want to pursue, they can. If they don't want to, they won't.

Now I am not talking about eharmony at all here, just real life. I think it is different here. Each party should feel free to initiate the guided communication process. What can you know from a photo and text anyway and it's not much different than a smile and conversation would be in real life.

Maybe it is just my age demographic ... but that has been my experience of initiating most of the time. I just won't do it any more irl, beyond as I said, offering a smile and conversation.

Is it just me or is this entire thread a bit confusing?