Really confused....I need advice!!!


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sefbitn is offline sefbitn Post #1  November 7,2009, 6:57pm
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I met a guy on EH 4 months ago. We hit it off since the first date so we saw ourselves often at the beginning. He works a lot of hours and sometimes works shift work so I told him that I understood and that I would try to work with his schedule. Well after 2 months of seeing each other, It really just became a casual sexual relationship. I don't think he saw it that way but I did. We never did anything but go to his house to hangout and watch movies. He was always too tired to do anything or take me out. I communicated with him that I was looking for more than a casual sexual relationship and that if we were not on the same page then I didn't want to see him anymore. So I cut him off.

Last week I ran into him at a club. Shocked me cuz he doesn't really go out. He was happy to see me and we talked, had some drinks and had a really good time. Maybe it was liquid courage but he kinda opened up to me a little bit. He told me he was shocked that I cut him off. That "he really liked me, couldn't I tell"? I told him I didn't know what to think since he never wanted to do anything or been seen with me I thought he "just wasn't that into me". He said he is just not good with communication. That I did not annoy him like other women do. I guess I should take this as a compliment? Anyway I decided it to give him a second chance. He invited me to his work xmas party next month and a party for tonight. Well, I decided to text him since I had not heard from him since I saw him on Thursday. He told me he did not feel confortable going to the party after all since it was more of a family party. I didn't get a call or text to let me know. I then text him back if he wanted to do something then and he said that he was not feeling well and that he was weak and tired. What??? Seriously???

I am so frustrated with him right now. I had decided to give him a second chance but I don't think this is going to work out. Is he playings games with me? I need advice please.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  November 7,2009, 7:04pm
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"He was always too tired to do anything or take me out."

Then you should take him out. Why is responsibility a one-way street?

"Is he playings games with me?"

Could well be. Putting ultimatums are a risky strategy, which, as you're learning, are an open invitation to do exactly what's demanded - and nothing more.

Personally, I do not think four months is enough time for more than a casual relationship. Though, I would be working on finding what he is looking for in his goals, and what he needs to find in a woman to move forward.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #3  November 7,2009, 7:15pm
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I'd say he met someone else while catting around the bars, personally.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  November 7,2009, 8:22pm
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Oh well I think that you should have kept your panties on!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  November 7,2009, 8:37pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Oh well I think that you should have kept your panties on!
This is kinda derogatory, dontcha think?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  November 7,2009, 8:39pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Oh well I think that you should have kept your panties on!

Still trying to reach that elusive four-month mark the old fashioned way?
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #7  November 7,2009, 8:59pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Personally, I do not think four months is enough time for more than a casual relationship.
I think four minutes is enough for more than a casual relationship.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #8  November 7,2009, 9:02pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Oh well I think that you should have kept your panties on!
How's that workin' for ya?
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #9  November 7,2009, 9:14pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Oh well I think that you should have kept your panties on!
You know, if you want other people to be respectful of the fact that you and some other posters have more traditional values, you really need to back off the derogatory comments directed at anyone whose values don't mirror your own.

Your comment is just as uncalled for as kneo24's post in the 'cookie' thread.
Last edited by peg099; November 7,2009 at 9:18pm.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #10  November 7,2009, 9:16pm
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Sefbitn, one of the things I've learned is that actions speak louder than words. Based on his actions, it doesn't sound like this guy can give you what you're looking for in a relationship.

And do you really want to be with someone who's with you because you 'don't annoy him like other women'? Doesn't sound like he's too keen on you, really.
 
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