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TomatoSauce TomatoSauce is offline
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Hi all,
I have given up dating for years now..but good intention friends are so earger to match me up with guys. They say someone like me shouldn't be single.
They keep telling me i mustn't be picky...

But i am not picky.
All i am asking for is
- a decent kind hearted
- traditional upbring
- in his mid 30's-mid 40
- hold a decnet job that support himself and his family
- love God
- homely person
- not more than 6" (as i am really petite).

But believe me, i have search for this guy for 40yr still i never manage to come close to someone that i could fall in love with...

Is there something wrong with my criteria ? Love to hear some thoughts on it..especially the guys view on it...thank you
- November 7th, 2009, 01:39 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Not necessarily anything wrong with any criteria - so long as you accept that every screen you impose is ruling out some portion of people, there will be fewer left.

It can be hard when you want rare combinations of attributes, which doesn't seem to apply to anything you've listed.

Last, do you bring to the table the quaities you're seeking? If so, then it is just a matter of time and solid strategy to find people suitable.
- November 7th, 2009, 02:36 pm
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kneo24 kneo24 is offline
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Points 1, 3, 4, and 6 shouldn't be too hard find at that age range. 5 and 7 are potential deal breakers. It can and will limit your choices. Choice 3? Seriously?

Is it absolutely necessary that someone loves god? What if they were some other religion that worships a different deity but met the rest of your qualities? What if they were agnostic? Atheist? If you limit your choices based around a religion and are having a hard time finding someone, this tells me two things:

1. Is that your faith is very important to you and you probably spend a great deal of spare time involved with your church.
2. This tells me that there are no good single men in your church or other churches in you area that meet the rest of your criteria? - Why is that?

With the height, how "petite"? Under 5'? Under 4'? Why is the contrast in height such an issue for you?

Why is the "traditional" upbringing so important? Do you even know what that entails? What most people call the "traditional" upbringing isn't actually traditional these days. So how do you define it? And furthermore, do you really feel that if someone wasn't brought up that way that they couldn't live the lifestyle that you want to live?

Sometimes you need to sit back and seriously evaluate yourself.
- November 7th, 2009, 02:59 pm
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peg099 peg099 is offline
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kneo24 wrote :
Points 1, 3, 4, and 6 shouldn't be too hard find at that age range. 5 and 7 are potential deal breakers. It can and will limit your choices. Choice 3? Seriously?

Is it absolutely necessary that someone loves god? What if they were some other religion that worships a different deity but met the rest of your qualities? What if they were agnostic? Atheist? If you limit your choices based around a religion and are having a hard time finding someone, this tells me two things:

1. Is that your faith is very important to you and you probably spend a great deal of spare time involved with your church.
2. This tells me that there are no good single men in your church or other churches in you area that meet the rest of your criteria? - Why is that?

With the height, how "petite"? Under 5'? Under 4'? Why is the contrast in height such an issue for you?

Why is the "traditional" upbringing so important? Do you even know what that entails? What most people call the "traditional" upbringing isn't actually traditional these days. So how do you define it? And furthermore, do you really feel that if someone wasn't brought up that way that they couldn't live the lifestyle that you want to live?

Sometimes you need to sit back and seriously evaluate yourself.
It is important when looking for a long-term partner to find someone whose values are well aligned with our own. In fact, similar values are probably the most important criteria for long-term success.

If TomatoSauce has specific religious beliefs and 'traditional' values, then it is wise for her to seek someone who is like-minded. And while those values may seem 'odd' to someone who doesn't share them, a man who has those values would probably be equally insistent on finding someone traditional who holds the same religious convictions.
- November 7th, 2009, 04:36 pm
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littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
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I thought there were cookies here. : (
- November 7th, 2009, 07:02 pm
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peg099 peg099 is offline
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
I thought there were cookies here. : (
Apparently, only half a cookie.
- November 7th, 2009, 07:05 pm
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ThePriestess ThePriestess is offline
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TomatoSauce wrote :
- not more than 6" (as i am really petite).
Well, there aren't a lot of guys under 6" tall, but you might find some of them on this site!
- November 7th, 2009, 07:07 pm
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melman melman is offline
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kneo24 wrote :
Is it absolutely necessary that someone loves god? What if they were some other religion that worships a different deity but met the rest of your qualities? What if they were agnostic? Atheist? If you limit your choices based around a religion and are having a hard time finding someone, this tells me two things:

1. Is that your faith is very important to you and you probably spend a great deal of spare time involved with your church.
2. This tells me that there are no good single men in your church or other churches in you area that meet the rest of your criteria? - Why is that?


Why is the "traditional" upbringing so important? Do you even know what that entails? What most people call the "traditional" upbringing isn't actually traditional these days. So how do you define it? And furthermore, do you really feel that if someone wasn't brought up that way that they couldn't live the lifestyle that you want to live?

Sometimes you need to sit back and seriously evaluate yourself.
Who are you to question the OP's values?

It's a pretty big insult to lay your values on the line, and have a stranger tell you that he/she doesn't believe you, or that none of those values are really important.

Yes, I do believe that someone who doesn't share (or at least acknowledge) my religious beliefs and perspective on traditional values, isn't worth my time as a match. I'd walk away from you in a bar, and I'll close you as a match.

And no, I don't spend a great deal of time in church-related things and my church is not a singles club. That's not why we're there.
- November 7th, 2009, 07:10 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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ThePriestess wrote :
Well, there aren't a lot of guys under 6" tall, but you might find some of them on this site!

Don't you have housework to do?
- November 7th, 2009, 07:17 pm
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ThePriestess ThePriestess is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
Don't you have housework to do?
Am waiting for some hottie to volunteer ... then I shall distract her!
- November 7th, 2009, 07:21 pm
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