Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 13 1 2 3 11 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
parakeetjordan parakeetjordan is offline
parakeetjordan's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 154

See profile

Can we discuss the ethical considerations of dating multiple people, how specifically the people of this board have handled juggling dating different people at the same time (i.e., give examples), and at what point does dating multiple people before one is in an exclusive relationship feel unethical to you?
- November 5th, 2009, 09:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
6dle899 6dle899 is offline
6dle899's Avatar

6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 3,746

See profile

It's hard to juggle like that, and I am a one woman man anyway but it was hard for me, when two of them had the SAME FIRST NAME and when one called I did not know how to identify which one was calling.

But to answer directly the question, I would absolutely never never never even contemplate having sex with more than ONE while dating any number of them.

ABSOLUTELY utterly beyond the pale, perish the very thought, it is how I am wired, that's all.
- November 5th, 2009, 10:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

nightling is drinking coffee, reading science articles, and enjoying the sunshine.

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,270

See profile

I think it is fine to see other people up until the point both parties agree the relationship becomes exclusive.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:04 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Psycue Psycue is offline
Psycue's Avatar

Psycue hopes for better weather.

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 109

See profile

Communication is the key to multiple dating. It is important for the individuals to know that you seeing other people in order for them to understand that they are not the sole person of your time.
Time management is another factor. I like my 'me' time so I may go out once, twice but no more than three times a week on a date. For one it can get expensive (yes, I do contribute) and I have other responsibilities that requires my time.
One rule for me is I don't engage in sex or deep kisses when dating multiple people. I'm probably a germaphobic, but I don't like that ideal of sharing bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Once I start to feel a connection with someone, I start to end dating with others and hope for the best.
I do this mainly because I don't know what the other person is doing and I'm thinking about myself both emotionally (I'm a sensitive person) and physically (If I don't who will).
Sometime this doesn't work well for me because when I start to narrow down, the relationship I want doesn't end up working but I figure that the others are better off without me since I didn't see it working with them to begin with.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Mangosteen Mangosteen is offline
Mangosteen's Avatar

Mangosteen is no longer a quick study

Pacesetter

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 304

See profile

nightling wrote :
I think it is fine to see other people up until the point both parties agree the relationship becomes exclusive.
Theoretically I agree with this, but in practice, if I found out the guy that I am dating right now was seeing others, I would be upset, even though we have not technically had a conversation about exclusiveness.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Johnnyguitarman Johnnyguitarman is offline
Johnnyguitarman's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 78

See profile

nightling wrote :
I think it is fine to see other people up until the point both parties agree the relationship becomes exclusive.
I agree, provided both agree to exclusivity. To answer the OP, dating mutliple people is fine- and if non exclusive who you are dating is really your own business- but if sex is involved with any of them and the relationship is not yet exclusive then ethics comes into the equation in the form of protection from STI's.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:50 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
cp30 cp30 is offline
cp30's Avatar

cp30 is making big plans...

Power Poster

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 5,348

See profile

Mangosteen wrote :
Theoretically I agree with this, but in practice, if I found out the guy that I am dating right now was seeing others, I would be upset, even though we have not technically had a conversation about exclusiveness.
I agree. In general, everything I have said in the last year can easily go down the tubes when reality presents itself, and a situation where I know what I WOULD do....if a, b, c or d was predictable or if there were no feelings involved or another person, who has free will too. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the minute I tried to date more than one person I landed in something that looks like a relationship. so, I suggest trying it out! All it took for me was a little belief that I actually meant it and bam!
- November 5th, 2009, 11:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
my5cents my5cents is online now
my5cents's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 245

See profile

I think in the case of internet dating, it's almost impossible to date or correspond with just one person at a time. I have met two men in one week, but none of them worked out so I've never gotten to experience dating multiple people. I think corresponding is one thing, and dating multiple people would be hard. I guess go out with them until you can narrow down who fits you best and what you're looking for. At that time it would be best to talk about exclusivity.

I also think it's very difficult to be with someone when you can see they check their profile every day and are still actively searching (you can see this on other dating sites). In someways the internet may not be your friend. <--That was hard for me when I was dating a guy for some months, because it kind of makes the foundation of what a relationship based on hard to build on. At least for me since I'm really a one woman to one man kind of gal.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:55 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

nightling is drinking coffee, reading science articles, and enjoying the sunshine.

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,270

See profile

Mangosteen wrote :
Theoretically I agree with this, but in practice, if I found out the guy that I am dating right now was seeing others, I would be upset, even though we have not technically had a conversation about exclusiveness.
So you want immediate exclusivity? With someone you don't know very well?
- November 6th, 2009, 08:09 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
FruitaBu FruitaBu is offline
FruitaBu's Avatar

FruitaBu is at home.

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 2,312

See profile

I guess it's ethical to date as many as you want, but it's never been practical for me. I tend to focus my attention on one person at a time and let that either take off or fizzle.
- November 6th, 2009, 08:28 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 13 1 2 3 11 Last »

Bookmarks

« do I drive to him, or make him come to me? | Array | For the men: »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question: Why is socialism bad? The1Tomcat Politics 268 November 18th, 2009 10:20 am
How to balance looks and other qualities when dating? IMCurious Dating 13 May 20th, 2009 02:09 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I want to say, "maybe." I do think having a quality partner is an advanatge to men - especially is he is in an employment role where having a wife is the norm.” – D_Lion

Join the “Are your relationships a good influence on you AND those around you?” discussion

“It's only been 3 dates / 3 weeks. I think it's safe to assume that he's seeing someone else ...which is still his right to do at this point ...probably someone he met before you. I'm not sure you ... ” – LizziePooh

Join the “Need some advice please...” discussion

“Thanks so much IIMH for sharing your testimony with us. Bless you. I agree, the promotion of the Gay lifestyle is unhealthy and sinful. However, I would like to make an important distinction here ... ” – jsbach

Join the “Letter: National migration towards legalization of same-sex marriage” discussion

“Have to rub having a life in...don't you?? Very Bad!!! Sorry. ” – VB_Girl

Join the “Gimme some Friday Night Roll Call !!!!” discussion

“Birthdays, definitely. Birthdays are a big deal with me. If I know it is your birthday, or you've just had a birthday, I will generally wish you Happy Birthday at the very least. Most people I know ... ” – meri75

Join the “How "date oriented" (anniversaries, birthdays, etc) are you?” discussion

“ That you cite only the upper bound of my data is a sign about you ... I have put this often, but the range is $200 to $300 across all meetings (which people should be converting to their local ... ” – D_Lion

Join the “Does a woman's financial well being, profession, and wage matter to the men?” discussion

“ ^ what he said ” – blessedinNC

Join the “yep, it's still here!” discussion

“ +1....personally I wouldn't have picked a man who was in such high demand to begin with. You knew these things before you married him but chose to do so anyway. I agree that you do need to seek ... ” – PR_Princess

Join the “My Baggage Or Intuition?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:07 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0