Ethical Considerations In Dating Multiple People


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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #1  November 5,2009, 8:59pm
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Can we discuss the ethical considerations of dating multiple people, how specifically the people of this board have handled juggling dating different people at the same time (i.e., give examples), and at what point does dating multiple people before one is in an exclusive relationship feel unethical to you?
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #2  November 5,2009, 9:57pm
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It's hard to juggle like that, and I am a one woman man anyway but it was hard for me, when two of them had the SAME FIRST NAME and when one called I did not know how to identify which one was calling.

But to answer directly the question, I would absolutely never never never even contemplate having sex with more than ONE while dating any number of them.

ABSOLUTELY utterly beyond the pale, perish the very thought, it is how I am wired, that's all.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #3  November 5,2009, 10:04pm
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I think it is fine to see other people up until the point both parties agree the relationship becomes exclusive.
 
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Psycue is offline Psycue Post #4  November 5,2009, 10:27pm
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Communication is the key to multiple dating. It is important for the individuals to know that you seeing other people in order for them to understand that they are not the sole person of your time.
Time management is another factor. I like my 'me' time so I may go out once, twice but no more than three times a week on a date. For one it can get expensive (yes, I do contribute) and I have other responsibilities that requires my time.
One rule for me is I don't engage in sex or deep kisses when dating multiple people. I'm probably a germaphobic, but I don't like that ideal of sharing bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Once I start to feel a connection with someone, I start to end dating with others and hope for the best.
I do this mainly because I don't know what the other person is doing and I'm thinking about myself both emotionally (I'm a sensitive person) and physically (If I don't who will).
Sometime this doesn't work well for me because when I start to narrow down, the relationship I want doesn't end up working but I figure that the others are better off without me since I didn't see it working with them to begin with.
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #5  November 5,2009, 10:32pm
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nightling wrote :
I think it is fine to see other people up until the point both parties agree the relationship becomes exclusive.
Theoretically I agree with this, but in practice, if I found out the guy that I am dating right now was seeing others, I would be upset, even though we have not technically had a conversation about exclusiveness.
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #6  November 5,2009, 10:50pm
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nightling wrote :
I think it is fine to see other people up until the point both parties agree the relationship becomes exclusive.
I agree, provided both agree to exclusivity. To answer the OP, dating mutliple people is fine- and if non exclusive who you are dating is really your own business- but if sex is involved with any of them and the relationship is not yet exclusive then ethics comes into the equation in the form of protection from STI's.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #7  November 5,2009, 10:54pm

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Mangosteen wrote :
Theoretically I agree with this, but in practice, if I found out the guy that I am dating right now was seeing others, I would be upset, even though we have not technically had a conversation about exclusiveness.
I agree. In general, everything I have said in the last year can easily go down the tubes when reality presents itself, and a situation where I know what I WOULD do....if a, b, c or d was predictable or if there were no feelings involved or another person, who has free will too. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the minute I tried to date more than one person I landed in something that looks like a relationship. so, I suggest trying it out! All it took for me was a little belief that I actually meant it and bam!
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #8  November 5,2009, 10:55pm
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I think in the case of internet dating, it's almost impossible to date or correspond with just one person at a time. I have met two men in one week, but none of them worked out so I've never gotten to experience dating multiple people. I think corresponding is one thing, and dating multiple people would be hard. I guess go out with them until you can narrow down who fits you best and what you're looking for. At that time it would be best to talk about exclusivity.

I also think it's very difficult to be with someone when you can see they check their profile every day and are still actively searching (you can see this on other dating sites). In someways the internet may not be your friend.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #9  November 6,2009, 7:09am
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Mangosteen wrote :
Theoretically I agree with this, but in practice, if I found out the guy that I am dating right now was seeing others, I would be upset, even though we have not technically had a conversation about exclusiveness.
So you want immediate exclusivity? With someone you don't know very well?
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #10  November 6,2009, 7:28am
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I guess it's ethical to date as many as you want, but it's never been practical for me. I tend to focus my attention on one person at a time and let that either take off or fizzle.
 
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