Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 3 of 13 1 2 3 4 5 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
PY_2 PY_2 is offline
PY_2's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 772

See profile

Going out on (4-5) dates with multiple people is ok..(unless some would keep doing this and doing serial dating almost as a hobby).

My own view of dating means you go out to get to know somebody...until you plant a romantic kiss on somebody then at that time, it's probably a good idea to focus on that person for a while.

The downside to this is that some women think lack of kissing by the 3rd date indicates lack of interest (which is untrue at all!)
- November 6th, 2009, 12:34 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
PY_2 PY_2 is offline
PY_2's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 772

See profile

parakeetjordan wrote :
I know most guys expect a kiss during the second date, and I don't want to lead him on. If I knew that we could just spend time getting to know each other without the physical expectation, I may take the time to get to know the guys better before I decide whether or not to pursue things further.
Ah very interesting we must be posting at the same time. I must be a very slow dater because I tend to wait at least 3-4 dates before landing a kiss...(maybe cheek first).
- November 6th, 2009, 12:36 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
parakeetjordan parakeetjordan is offline
parakeetjordan's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 154

See profile

Mr. Wonderful, the guy I just started dating, has been a complete gentleman during the first two dates. We didn't kiss during the first, and during the second, his kisses were very gentle. I, in fact, wished that he would have pushed me up against the car and kissed me passionately. Sorry about that digression.

Now, we have a third date coming up and I told him that I can't meet him until 9 p.m. because I have a meeting until then. At first, he suggested a restaurant. Now, he has sent me a text asking me whether I would like to meet him at his place instead.

Guys out there, what you thinking in this scenario? How would you react if I text back and said "Okay, but I'm not sleeping with you."

This is what I am having issues with in dating multiple people. I like him, but I have to hold him off until I know where it is going, and where my other relationships with other guys, including Mr. Too-Good-To-Be True is going.
- November 6th, 2009, 12:41 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
Johnnyguitarman Johnnyguitarman is offline
Johnnyguitarman's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 78

See profile

parakeetjordan wrote :
Mr. Wonderful, the guy I just started dating, has been a complete gentleman during the first two dates. We didn't kiss during the first, and during the second, his kisses were very gentle. I, in fact, wished that he would have pushed me up against the car and kissed me passionately. Sorry about that digression.
-snip-
That reminds me, my Mum, when she was still with us, used to call my Dad "mr wonderfull", and with my parents, it was literally a case of till-death-did-they-part, must be the ultimate to aim for with dating??
- November 6th, 2009, 01:00 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
librarybabe librarybabe is offline
librarybabe's Avatar

librarybabe is looking for that special person to annoy the rest of my life.

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 544

See profile

shoopthedoop wrote :
Until you have had sex, dating multiple people is fine. Afterwards it's nasty and gross.

No need for the 'exclusivity' talk. If I'm having sex with someone and they are still 'dating' other people the relationship ends the moment I find that out.
Wouldn't it be better to have the talk before rather than set yourself up to find out later her definition of what's ethical/appropriate in dating doesn't match yours? At the very least it cuts down slightly on your chances for STI's.
- November 6th, 2009, 01:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

kissed_too_many_frogs kissed_too_many_frogs is offline
kissed_too_many_frogs's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

I could not have said it better myself.
- November 6th, 2009, 01:33 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
shoopthedoop shoopthedoop is online now
shoopthedoop's Avatar

shoopthedoop is happy with the way things are going!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 521

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
Wouldn't it be better to have the talk before rather than set yourself up to find out later her definition of what's ethical/appropriate in dating doesn't match yours? At the very least it cuts down slightly on your chances for STI's.
Given the concerns about STI's, my personal choice for when to have the conversation would be when moving away from condoms as the form or birth control.
- November 6th, 2009, 01:37 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
bct31 bct31 is offline
bct31's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 45

See profile

6dle899 wrote :
You are twisting Mangosteen's thoughts around to get to the worst possible conclusion, which says more about YOU than about HER..

Read what she wrote, again: she said SHE would be dating the guy in the hypothetical case, and implied that she was so close to exclusivity that she is only one conversation away from trying to formalize the exclusivity.

Honestly why do you conclude things that way? Unless you are being provocative on purpose, your remarks are *awfully* negative, in their assumptions, I think.
I agree with Nightling that this was a bit of a personal attack. And honestly, I re read the original statement again, and I STILL agree with Nightling. I believe that is exactly what Mangosteen was saying. Your further explanation of what you think Mangosteen was saying seems a bit far stretched but maybe it's just me.
- November 6th, 2009, 01:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

nightling is drinking coffee, reading science articles, and enjoying the sunshine.

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,321

See profile

shoopthedoop wrote :
Until you have had sex, dating multiple people is fine. Afterwards it's nasty and gross.

No need for the 'exclusivity' talk. If I'm having sex with someone and they are still 'dating' other people the relationship ends the moment I find that out.
I would not have sex with you without the exclusivity talk.

hypothetically speaking of course ...
- November 6th, 2009, 02:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
librarybabe librarybabe is offline
librarybabe's Avatar

librarybabe is looking for that special person to annoy the rest of my life.

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 544

See profile

I'm actually a lot like Mangosteen (or at least what I think she meant, as we all have a different take on that!) I am very logical in the way I look at online dating and dating multiple people. I actually think it is great because it doesn't assume a relationship is born out of every date. But when push comes to shove, my heart has a lot more say in the matter and a lot earlier than I would like.

My brain says, there is nothing ethically or logically wrong with dating multiple people, as long as you adhere to the reasonable rules others have mentioned. But what I would add to the rules others stated is that we acknowledge the fact that we are not just logical beings. We need to take our own and our dates' illogical emotional wishes into account. We can't blame ourselves or our date if against what is reasonable we get our hopes up before the appropriate time.

As the person who was premature in hoping for exclusivity before it's time, I remind myself this is not an indication of unfaithfulness but a part of the process and that in time things may change or I'll be glad that they didn't get more serious.

As the person on the other side of the coin, I would try to temper the other person's hopes, gently reminding them that we are still getting to know each other and aren't ready YET to be exclusive. But I wouldn't go screaming into the night just because they were premature in their wishes. And I wouldn't lie or skate over the fact that I was dating others just to spare their feelings. Finding out later after they have built their hopes up too high would be worse.
Last edited by librarybabe; November 6th, 2009 at 02:13 pm.
- November 6th, 2009, 02:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 3 of 13 1 2 3 4 5 Last »

Bookmarks

« Never wait till next time | Array | Childfree dating life »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question: Why is socialism bad? The1Tomcat Politics 269 November 22nd, 2009 02:40 am
How to balance looks and other qualities when dating? IMCurious Dating 13 May 20th, 2009 02:09 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I totally agree Fruita! It is rude and annoying! To the OP who said why does he have my number if I'm not interested in him. he has been a friend. He knows that I am not interested in having a ... ” – jayjay

Join the “Calling at 2 in the morning” discussion

“I'm no dating expert, but on my current girlfriend, apparently I did many things right (she unintentionally told me why she was attracted to me). Remember all woman are different, so this is no ... ” – glyster

Join the “Third Date” discussion

“I am a very moderate drinker myself. I love a good glass of wine, but it isn't something I am in the mood for with every meal. I might drink once every six months or it might be every other weekend. ... ” – FruitaBu

Join the “Alcohol and dating...” discussion

“There could be reasons that a person wishes to remain anonymous. I once met a professional golfer online who did not want his last name revealed.” – FLA123

Join the “Here's a good one for you” discussion

“For me, the only real stress is the shopping. But I'm not working now; I can go anytime, and there's always the Internet. Savings bonds and Gift Cards help. I don't give the shopping a thought ... ” – j0hn8andy

Join the “Destressing the holidays!” discussion

“Regardless of the reason(s) why....and how valid or invalid these are, if you've tried to break up with him several times I don't forsee things just 'becoming better'.” – jayjay

Join the “Help! Am I making a mistake?” discussion

“Personally, I like the guy on Scrubs who says "He is going to give you a physical you ain't never goin' to forget."” – FLA123

Join the “Need some advice please...” discussion

“Thank you both. Sorry, I should have been a little clearer. The expert has not told lies. The expert has formed an opinion in their professional capacity of Person A. The expert outlines in ... ” – meri75

Join the “Defamation/Libel” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:47 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0