Ethical Considerations In Dating Multiple People


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annmartinez is offline annmartinez Post #101  November 12,2009, 3:31pm
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And of course as a professing christian, I wouldn't have sex with even one until after that ring is on my finger and we're married. I want God's blessing on my life/our marriage, not his curse for having sex with someone that ISN'T my spouse even if we plan on marriage. What if the marriage isn't finalized? You've just sleep with someone that isn't your spouse, hence, fornication as a christian (if you claim to be one) if you're not, that still doesn't make it right, but will be between you and God.




But to answer directly the question, I would absolutely never never never even contemplate having sex with more than ONE while dating any number of them.

ABSOLUTELY utterly beyond the pale, perish the very thought, it is how I am wired, that's all.[/quote]
 
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rrayson is offline rrayson Post #102  November 12,2009, 3:54pm
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HMMM...who's ethics are we talking about here anyway? Society or what we truly feel in out hearts? For me, dating multiple people is required these days. How else does one find the one they really want to be with? When it come to sex, protection is a must and everyone involved should be aware of what is going on. While certain details should not be shared but honesty is the key...just my opinion.
 
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Bilbowar is offline Bilbowar Post #103  November 12,2009, 6:49pm
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I think it is fine to date multiple people but you should not be having sex with any of them. Once you move to that level, you should only be seeing that person.
 
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WonderWomsn is offline WonderWomsn Post #104  November 13,2009, 1:26am
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Sawyer76
thank you for your response. Just tolet you know i've been phone buddies with this guy for 9 month and he has made no comittment to meet up. Guess im being naive - this guy is playng me right? He had a couple of good excuses to start with - but this is getting silly. This is why i am positive he is talking to other women or even seeing them. Any advise?
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #105  November 13,2009, 2:31am
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FruitaBu wrote :
I guess it's ethical to date as many as you want, but it's never been practical for me. I tend to focus my attention on one person at a time and let that either take off or fizzle.
Yes, a certain practicality comes in to it; or rather a hierarchy. Someone you may what to impress, others who you go with the flow, and some a habit. I never feel it creates a bother as it all works it way out in the end. I'd be more concern with serial daters who never intend to go anywhere, but won't say so.
 
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sugartree12 is offline sugartree12 Post #106  November 13,2009, 2:17pm
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I think that as long as a person remains honest about their feelings it is okay to date multiple persons. If you are asked. However it is not always a good idea to volunteer too much information.
I also has a lot to do with how much the dates want to know about your wherabouts. If you have maintained a casual impression, then itis wiser to let things take their own course. If any of the dates are special enough - you'll know.
 
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sugartree12 is offline sugartree12 Post #107  November 13,2009, 2:25pm
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To WonderWomsn:
There is no reason to continue to try to communicate with this man - it is time for you to set your sights elsewhere. If he is really interested he will contact you. Sometimes it is better to let them NOT know what you are doing - live your life. I once gave a girlfriend from high school some advice regarding a guy she wanted to marry: just be unavailable for a few days - they have been married for almost 30 years now.
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nightling is offline nightling Post #108  November 13,2009, 2:35pm
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WonderWomsn wrote :
Sawyer76
thank you for your response. Just tolet you know i've been phone buddies with this guy for 9 month and he has made no comittment to meet up. Guess im being naive - this guy is playng me right? He had a couple of good excuses to start with - but this is getting silly. This is why i am positive he is talking to other women or even seeing them. Any advise?
You say to him, Meet me or close me and stick to it.
 
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foxone is offline foxone Post #109  November 13,2009, 8:00pm
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Dating different people use to be called playing the field. There is nothing wrong with that.

Just because you go out with someone a few times, does not mean you own them. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who think is how is supposed to be. I think those that feel that way are people that are lonely and desperate to be with someone. I have been out with women that have that attitude. One woman I dated sent me flowers, a dozen roses, to my work after; we had gone out one time. She is one of those women that think, one date is some kind of commitment. I am sure there are men with that same attitude.

What attracts one person to another when they first meet? Their looks and if you are honest about it, you know that is true. After you get to know them and see what kind of person they are, their personality and other things may cause you to want to maintain an interest in seeing them or maybe not. People can be beautiful on the outside, but have a personality that would drive you nuts. The opposite can is true of people that might be just average looking or not good looking at all. They could be the nicest and most caring person you could meet.

If you are looking for someone to make you happy and think a few dates are signs of love, you have already lost. You probably think if you could only be with that one person you would be happy. You have to be happy with yourself first. Then if you meet someone and both of you really get along well and enjoy being together and doing things together, you may have something.
 
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S_D_Fan is offline S_D_Fan Post #110  November 13,2009, 8:33pm
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Psycue wrote :
Communication is the key to multiple dating. It is important for the individuals to know that you seeing other people in order for them to understand that they are not the sole person of your time.
Time management is another factor. I like my 'me' time so I may go out once, twice but no more than three times a week on a date. For one it can get expensive (yes, I do contribute) and I have other responsibilities that requires my time.
One rule for me is I don't engage in sex or deep kisses when dating multiple people. I'm probably a germaphobic, but I don't like that ideal of sharing bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Once I start to feel a connection with someone, I start to end dating with others and hope for the best.
I do this mainly because I don't know what the other person is doing and I'm thinking about myself both emotionally (I'm a sensitive person) and physically (If I don't who will).
Sometime this doesn't work well for me because when I start to narrow down, the relationship I want doesn't end up working but I figure that the others are better off without me since I didn't see it working with them to begin with.
I agree with most of this persons opinion. But from a man's point of view, the most important part is both the communication, and that at some point, you have to make a choice. Most times for me the relationship that I pick to focus on, eventually fizzles. But, even tho I wonder about those I left behind,they are better off without me, for I DID decide to leave them behind.
 
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