Am I too old fashion to think a guy should call after a date???


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
bct31 is offline bct31 Post #1  November 5,2009, 7:14pm
bct31's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 47

See profile

Had a first date with a guy last night who I met online. I think we both mutally felt the date went well. We both said we were glad we met up, were attracted to each other and both expressed interest in going out again. I guess I feel like if a guy is serious about dating and thinks he met a nice person that he is interested in, he would not follow any sort of "rules". I think guys should either send a text that night to say they had a nice time or send a text or call the following day after the date. Am I expecting too much? And what amount of time is acceptable to most of you for the person to reach out to you after a date?
 
  Reply With Quote
tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  November 5,2009, 7:15pm
tbesq's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,536

See profile

No. But don't assume that because he didn't call he's not interested. Many people have very different post-first date behaviors.
 
  Reply With Quote
kiki87042 is offline kiki87042 Post #3  November 5,2009, 7:17pm
kiki87042's Avatar

Hi!!! Did you miss me?

Enthusiast

Joined: May 2008

New Mexico

Posts: 715

See profile

He's probably following the stupid 3 day rule. UGH!!!
Hope he calls soon.
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #4  November 5,2009, 7:19pm

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

Yes! Today people Text so they don't have to face rejection on the phone.

Harvey7.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  November 5,2009, 7:34pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

bct31 wrote :
Had a first date with a guy last night who I met online. I think we both mutally felt the date went well. We both said we were glad we met up, were attracted to each other and both expressed interest in going out again. I guess I feel like if a guy is serious about dating and thinks he met a nice person that he is interested in, he would not follow any sort of "rules". I think guys should either send a text that night to say they had a nice time or send a text or call the following day after the date. Am I expecting too much? And what amount of time is acceptable to most of you for the person to reach out to you after a date?
Unfortunately, not everyone follows up after that first date. Sometimes they're in the process of meeting many people (which is what a first date basically is), sometimes they get busy, or sometimes they follow some ridiculous preconceived notions about what "the rules" are because they can't possibly think for themselves! And sometimes, too, they say nice things to end the date pleasantly because they don't have the courage to say they didn't feel the chemistry, and then they poof on ya.

I wouldn't write him off just yet, but I wouldn't hang all my hopes on him, either. The truth is, you don't really know what's going on right now. Keep the door open to other opportunities in the mean time.
 
  Reply With Quote
AsianGal is offline AsianGal Post #6  November 5,2009, 7:41pm
AsianGal's Avatar

made yummy chicken soup with dumplings!

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2009

Posts: 60

See profile

I don't think its old fashioned.
Its called manners and consideration.

If a guy doesn't have any manners to follow up with a casual call at least and feels he has to play by some silly, childish rule then honestly I'd question his maturity.

I would prefer a guy who is straight up and honest, not all wonky and teeny.
I would want to date a man, not a boy.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #7  November 5,2009, 7:41pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

There could really be a variety of reasons he hasn't called yet. I wouldn't waste too much time thinking about it.

He either will or won't call, he either was or wasn't interested. You worrying about it won't change the answer either way and will just wrack your nerves in the meantime when/if he finally does call.

(I know Some guys won't call right away because they fear appearing desperate. They'd rather seem aloof, unconcerned and inconsiderate.)

/shrug
Last edited by nightling; November 5,2009 at 7:43pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  November 5,2009, 7:55pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,726

See profile

If he paid for your date, you own him the communication to thank him for the evening he bought for you!

I'm beginning to wonder why I bother any more.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #9  November 5,2009, 7:56pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
If he paid for your date, you own him the communication to thank him for the evening he bought for you!

I'm beginning to wonder why I bother any more.
I actually agree with this.
 
  Reply With Quote
bct31 is offline bct31 Post #10  November 5,2009, 8:03pm
bct31's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 47

See profile

I'm not worrying myself over whether he will call or if he is interested. I was just wondering if I was wrong to think the guy should call the next day or if that was setting too high of expectations. I'm actually surprised by the response because I expected most people to say that I shouldn't have expected some type of contact. He told me he is new to online dating and I know he said he's been on a few dates already so I think he's probably a "rule" guy. UGH! I think following the "rules" is worse than possibly appearing desperate!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Newbies and Lurkers -- say HELLO! | Dating | FREEZE! And the only thing pointing at me is a phone number! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Paying for things on a date... Mystified101 Dating 337 February 13,2010 1:31pm
After the First Date...How much should I pursue? kayla4brains Dating 28 January 11,2010 12:43pm
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 11:29pm
A week after the date and no call! crazychris Dating 7 August 30,2009 4:21pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:06am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0