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bct31 bct31 is offline
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Had a first date with a guy last night who I met online. I think we both mutally felt the date went well. We both said we were glad we met up, were attracted to each other and both expressed interest in going out again. I guess I feel like if a guy is serious about dating and thinks he met a nice person that he is interested in, he would not follow any sort of "rules". I think guys should either send a text that night to say they had a nice time or send a text or call the following day after the date. Am I expecting too much? And what amount of time is acceptable to most of you for the person to reach out to you after a date?
- November 5th, 2009, 08:14 pm
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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No. But don't assume that because he didn't call he's not interested. Many people have very different post-first date behaviors.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:15 pm
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He's probably following the stupid 3 day rule. UGH!!!
Hope he calls soon.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:17 pm
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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Yes! Today people Text so they don't have to face rejection on the phone.

Harvey7.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:19 pm
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bct31 wrote :
Had a first date with a guy last night who I met online. I think we both mutally felt the date went well. We both said we were glad we met up, were attracted to each other and both expressed interest in going out again. I guess I feel like if a guy is serious about dating and thinks he met a nice person that he is interested in, he would not follow any sort of "rules". I think guys should either send a text that night to say they had a nice time or send a text or call the following day after the date. Am I expecting too much? And what amount of time is acceptable to most of you for the person to reach out to you after a date?
Unfortunately, not everyone follows up after that first date. Sometimes they're in the process of meeting many people (which is what a first date basically is), sometimes they get busy, or sometimes they follow some ridiculous preconceived notions about what "the rules" are because they can't possibly think for themselves! And sometimes, too, they say nice things to end the date pleasantly because they don't have the courage to say they didn't feel the chemistry, and then they poof on ya.

I wouldn't write him off just yet, but I wouldn't hang all my hopes on him, either. The truth is, you don't really know what's going on right now. Keep the door open to other opportunities in the mean time.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:34 pm
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I don't think its old fashioned.
Its called manners and consideration.

If a guy doesn't have any manners to follow up with a casual call at least and feels he has to play by some silly, childish rule then honestly I'd question his maturity.

I would prefer a guy who is straight up and honest, not all wonky and teeny.
I would want to date a man, not a boy.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:41 pm
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nightling nightling is online now
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There could really be a variety of reasons he hasn't called yet. I wouldn't waste too much time thinking about it.

He either will or won't call, he either was or wasn't interested. You worrying about it won't change the answer either way and will just wrack your nerves in the meantime when/if he finally does call.

(I know Some guys won't call right away because they fear appearing desperate. They'd rather seem aloof, unconcerned and inconsiderate.)

/shrug
Last edited by nightling; November 5th, 2009 at 08:43 pm.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:41 pm
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If he paid for your date, you own him the communication to thank him for the evening he bought for you!

I'm beginning to wonder why I bother any more.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:55 pm
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nightling nightling is online now
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D_Lion wrote :
If he paid for your date, you own him the communication to thank him for the evening he bought for you!

I'm beginning to wonder why I bother any more.
I actually agree with this.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:56 pm
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bct31 bct31 is offline
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I'm not worrying myself over whether he will call or if he is interested. I was just wondering if I was wrong to think the guy should call the next day or if that was setting too high of expectations. I'm actually surprised by the response because I expected most people to say that I shouldn't have expected some type of contact. He told me he is new to online dating and I know he said he's been on a few dates already so I think he's probably a "rule" guy. UGH! I think following the "rules" is worse than possibly appearing desperate!
- November 5th, 2009, 09:03 pm
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