Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
eHA_Admin_Lori eHA_Admin_Lori is offline
eHA_Admin_Lori's Avatar

eHA_Admin_Lori Your friendly Community Manager

Moderator

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,672

See profile

This was posted on one of our wedding sites and I thought I'd post it here and get a reaction from this group as well.

"So, I was watching Dan Savage the other day, and he introduced me to the concept of a relationship's price of admission. The way he explained it is that no one is perfect, and our imperfections are our price of admission. And in a relationship, the goal is to meet someone who is worth their price of admission. What I'm willing to pay might not be what someone else is willing to pay, which is how some couples end up "perfect for each other". I'm sure that a lot of you are friends with couples where the two people are great with each other, but you know that they'd drive you CRAZY if you were dating them!"

What's YOUR price of admission? And how high of a price are you willing to pay in terms of putting up with a partner's imperfections?
- November 4th, 2009, 06:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 14,318

See profile

My price of admission: Women reciprocate interest and expense.

Matters of economic equity, I don't put up with anything (tried but could not get my boss to agree to fund it.) Matters of individual uniqueness, I may check and see what happens.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
cardguy cardguy is offline
cardguy's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 784

See profile

That's a rather bizarre analogy, is doesn't match how I view my dates at all. For one thing, there's an implication in it that there's an agreed scale of the value of various characteristic (positive or negative), and the difference is just in our tolerance for the negative. It's not a matter of tolerance for some "price of admission", but rather that we have difference personalities and preferences, and what might drive one person crazy simply doesn't bother another much or at all.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:26 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
Mr_Right's Avatar

Mr_Right has a celebrity lookalike

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,030

See profile

Already paid that price.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:29 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
eHA_Admin_Lori eHA_Admin_Lori is offline
eHA_Admin_Lori's Avatar

eHA_Admin_Lori Your friendly Community Manager

Moderator

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,672

See profile

Mr_Right wrote :
Already paid that price.
lol -- bragger!
- November 4th, 2009, 06:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

eHA_Admin_Lori eHA_Admin_Lori is offline
eHA_Admin_Lori's Avatar

eHA_Admin_Lori Your friendly Community Manager

Moderator

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,672

See profile

cardguy wrote :
That's a rather bizarre analogy, is doesn't match how I view my dates at all. For one thing, there's an implication in it that there's an agreed scale of the value of various characteristic (positive or negative), and the difference is just in our tolerance for the negative. It's not a matter of tolerance for some "price of admission", but rather that we have difference personalities and preferences, and what might drive one person crazy simply doesn't bother another much or at all.
Fair points. Also, I would reckon that there are different degrees of tolerance for the same "flaw" in different prospective partners. Let's say someone has a potty mouth but that's all that's wrong with them....everything else is perfect. Some people might find that characteristic either easier (or more difficult) to deal with given the absence of other flaws, whereas if they also let's say drank too much and had horrible table manners, the cussing could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:50 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I'm in love and always will be ... All that was there will be there still

Sage

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 10,619

See profile

cardguy wrote :
That's a rather bizarre analogy, is doesn't match how I view my dates at all. For one thing, there's an implication in it that there's an agreed scale of the value of various characteristic (positive or negative), and the difference is just in our tolerance for the negative. It's not a matter of tolerance for some "price of admission", but rather that we have difference personalities and preferences, and what might drive one person crazy simply doesn't bother another much or at all.
I have to agree with this.
- November 4th, 2009, 07:18 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I'm in love and always will be ... All that was there will be there still

Sage

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 10,619

See profile

Hmm, the concept that one approaches finding their relationship partner with a balance sheet on which to add up the positives and subtract the negatives and that whoever has the highest positive number is the winner is totally bizarre This would bring to my totally logical mind:

1. There is no such thing as "chemistry".
2. People are nothing more that cold, calculating robots without any feelings.
3. You will never believe that you have found "the one" because the next guy / girl to come along may have a higher score.

Rather a sad concept this
- November 4th, 2009, 07:29 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

I think it also depends on how good the good qualities are. For some really really good qualities I'd probably be willing to pay a little more 'admission price'.
- November 4th, 2009, 08:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 14,318

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Rather a sad concept this

Why?

If your time on this service has shown anything, surely it is to make sound choice in partners?
- November 4th, 2009, 08:16 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Bookmarks

« Baggage.... let's talk about that a bit.... | Array | A womans age »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I believe that you will find that most people on eHarmony prefer Guided Communication. This is my preference but if a match requests Fast Track (eHarmony mail) I will usually accept. But I can't ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “Are these questions odd” discussion

“What you really want to know is whether you should stick it out and give the relationship a try or if you should give up without putting yourself out there?? Give it a try......what have you got to ... ” – beautifulgenius

Join the “Utterly confused after second date” discussion

“I wondered the same thing. I have been seeing someone for about a month and with vday coming up I did not know to handle it. I knew I would be ok with spending valentine's with him, but I did not ... ” – suzyblueeyes

Join the “What to do about holidays that don't fit into 'the flow'...” discussion

“ Exactly!...” – legend29

Join the “Too much thinking going on here...” discussion

“Richey, Trixie and Browneyedangel... FANTASTIC posts. sniff sniff. I love you man. OK .. here's what I've learned: 1- "Living with roomates" = Living with parents 2- "Want to go watch a movie at ... ” – ami1uwant

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“This is not a normal situation. These other people are taking advantage of your boyfriend and he is letting them control his life. You should probably have a discussion with him about who he ... ” – VB_Girl

Join the “is it normal? or traditional american culture?” discussion

“I'd still rather see MORE words than skantly written lines that do not tell me much. LESS mis-spellings (which eHarmony warns about when filling out your profile, to use a word processor first) and ... ” – cal_dude

Join the “Incomplete profile - why bother?” discussion

“No. You're right. When I was in a committed relationship (marriage, in my instance) we didn't use condoms. I don't know if the OP is to that point yet? Or, maybe she is. Only she knows I guess. I ... ” – newbie40something

Join the “argued about birth control methods” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:45 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0