Hybrid thread: 'baggage' and 'age'


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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #71  November 4,2009, 8:05am
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jayjay wrote :
'Baggage' is a popular topic on these boards....as is the question of 'age'. Is one a potential answer to the other?

Some people have written that they consider accumulating baggage to be inevitable....just a matter of having experienced a lot of things in life, with some of these things being negative. People have written that they consider what is important is how one deals with one's own baggage.

However, if that's the case, and if one wants to minimize the baggage a potential partner might have.....can the whole issue be avoided just by looking for younger partners who therefore have less baggage?

After enduring 61 years of BS, all my life's baggage is carrion.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #72  November 4,2009, 8:08am
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scarlet13 wrote :
jayjay wants us to tell him it's okay for him to date a 19 year old.

Fine by me, if they count 'em in DOG years.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #73  November 4,2009, 8:18am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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6dle899 wrote :
After enduring 61 years of BS, all my life's baggage is carrion.
I see what you did there.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #74  November 4,2009, 8:21am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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scarlet13 wrote :
and whose fault is that? *I* don't have ex-wife baggage. you chose the wrong one, you lose.

the funny thing is even if an older man dates a baggage-free 20 year old chances are very good that in 5 years, he'll be her baggage.
I guess there are no female equivalents of that thread.

Do you really think relationships with age gaps will go bad? I thought I had seen you post some positive comments about these.
 
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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #75  November 4,2009, 8:48am
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I dunno. 19 year olds in Texas must be better adjusted that the ones up here in the Northeast. Seriously. You sure you work in a college?

I don't think lack of baggage is a function of age (both metaphorically and literally. I went on a college trip to Austria two years ago. The 19 year olds brought the most stuff!)

Packing light is a function of not being screwed up by the world or at least learning to forgive, learn and move on.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #76  November 4,2009, 8:54am
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jayjay wrote :
I guess there are no female equivalents of that thread.

Do you really think relationships with age gaps will go bad? I thought I had seen you post some positive comments about these.
not all the time, but I do think younger woman/older man* go bad far more often than younger man/older woman.

ETA: *the reason i think that is the balance of power in the relationship is skewed to far in one direction.

i don't have ex-husband baggage either, FWIW.
Last edited by scarlet13; November 4,2009 at 8:57am.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #77  November 4,2009, 8:59am
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Baggage is negative- experience is positive, and it takes years to turn baggage into experience. some people never get there, though.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #78  November 4,2009, 9:13am

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scarlet13 wrote :
Baggage is negative- experience is positive, and it takes years to turn baggage into experience. some people never get there, though.
My divorce was awful, hell my friends refered to it was the war of the roses though I never took part in any of the bad behavior. I was forced at one point to let him have the house and my kids for a month. This because at the time the judge believed him. I didn't think I could go on, I wanted to run so bad. I believed it was more than I could take. My oldest daughter called and I realized I had to find it in me to go on because they are mine to protect. When you are pushed beyond you limits over and over you learn you are limiting yourself. I am alive and kicking so it did not destroy me. He made me a much stronger woman for what he put me through.

I could never have done the schedule I have kept the past three years if I still limited myself. I really must send him a thank you not when I graduate this spring. My divorce produced interesting stories but no baggage. Meh, maybe I am just a glass half full kinda woman.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #79  November 4,2009, 9:19am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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librarybabe wrote :
I dunno. 19 year olds in Texas must be better adjusted that the ones up here in the Northeast.
Well....many of them do have at least one type. A large percentage of the 19 year olds where I am already have kids.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #80  November 4,2009, 9:20am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
Meh, maybe I am just a glass half full kinda woman.
Glad you made it through your ordeal with that attitude.
 
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