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nightling nightling is online now
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nightling -- there is pain, there is rain. No one's ever completely sane.

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jayjay wrote :
I think this is where what one is talking about in terms of 'self awareness' is the difference. If it's just a verbal knowledge....then I could see that most people continue to increase that throughout their lives. I think this is what you write above that means little with respect to their issues.

Like the way people can be very rigid in their minds....and know that they are so, but this doesn't make them less rigid. I think oftentimes this is what people even on this forum mean when they say they 'know themselves' and what they like and don't like. I could agree that this type of knowledge probably increases in a lot of people over their lifetimes.

However, this isn't what I think of as self awareness. For me this is the awareness that would, for example, actually dissolves that kind of rigidity. That's the kind of self awareness that I don't see very much of.
In general people do not get less tolerant as they age. They lose the beginner's mind. You can train your mind to beat that, but what's the incentive?

For example, I like blueberry poptarts and why should I switch to fudge or even strawberry? Blech, fudge. Strawberry. Disgusting.

Give me blueberry poptarts or give me death!
- November 4th, 2009, 05:25 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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jayjay ...is relieved that the homebuyer's tax credit has been extended.

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nightling wrote :
In general people do not get less tolerant as they age. They lose the beginner's mind. You can train your mind to beat that, but what's the incentive?

For example, I like blueberry poptarts and why should I switch to fudge or even strawberry? Blech, fudge. Strawberry. Disgusting.

Give me blueberry poptarts or give me death!
Actually....that's a pretty good example. When I hear most people talk about being self aware it kind of seems like what they're talking about is knowing they like blueberry poptarts more than (blech) fudge ones.
- November 4th, 2009, 05:32 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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trixie1868 wrote :
Bagg + age = Baggage. See what you did there?


If we want a thread to stop all the whining about tall men it should be called

Shhh + height = ?


If we want a thread to stop all the inane weight blah, blah, blah

Fat + u a$$ = (spelling is awry on this one but it still works)


Jayjay, you have stumbled upon something here young man.
Ok....let me try to think of one:

cougar-lish-ous.

Does that work?
- November 4th, 2009, 05:37 pm
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nightling wrote :
Give me blueberry poptarts or give me death!
I'll have cake please

YouTube - Eddie Izzard-Cake or Death
- November 4th, 2009, 06:27 pm
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Hew wrote :
I have met lots of people who are completely "self-aware" of all their issues. It doesn't mean they do a darn thing about them though!
Awareness is a necessary, but not sufficient condition for change/growth.

You need to be aware in order to do anything about that baggage - but being aware of it does not in and of itself sort through it. It's a multi-step process.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:30 pm
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Iconography wrote :
Good point, peg099. I was thinking of the in-between "healing" time--when one is aware but in the process of dealing with the "baggage": one can be both aware of one's baggage (that is, be self-aware) and yet still have baggage.

The aware and unaware do not carry their baggage in the same ways, I suppose.
And like Hew pointed out - some people are aware but choose to do nothing with that awareness. But that awareness opens the door to healing/growth/change.
- November 4th, 2009, 06:34 pm
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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OMG....UG2BK!!!!!!

I was like dating this guy that was like 15 years younger than me when I was in my early 30's, and he was like sooooo much of a headache cause he had sooooo much baggage...but I figured NMP and thought to myself DEGT....so for COL I can't deal with even thinking about baggage and age CUZ for COL baggage can be like at any age...you know!

Sorry...BTDT!

(Isn't 20y/o lingo grand??????)...lol
- November 4th, 2009, 06:42 pm
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It's not the size of the baggage..it's what's in the suitcase....

I prefer to call baggage "life experience" instead.

So what would you prefer...a young lady with no life experience or one who has a bit and survived through it all and still wanted to date you?

;-)
- November 4th, 2009, 07:43 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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Iconography wrote :
Hm... I don't think that self-awareness--or, rather, its lack--necessarily has anything to do with baggage. What about people like me, who went through traumatic experiences which have interfered with our ability, for example, to relate "affectionately" to the opposite sex. That's clearly baggage (isn't it?) and can clearly afflict even the most self-aware.
I don't look at it as that. It only is "baggage" when you treat someone unfairly because of it. You may have hang-ups because of your experience (everyone does with something). We all have triggers and/or insecurities about stuff so we all over-react sometimes. It is when we can't own that over-reaction that is the problem - being able to say, "That was unfair. Sorry - that was my carp getting in the way" goes a long way.

***

The following is a side-topic - But I think there is also a problem with people expecting others to accommodate their carp. It is our carp, we need to own it and admit to it when it gets in the way. We can want someone to understand where we are coming from but we should not expect them to or make them tip-toe around our issues. I think admitting to it when it happens is playing fair and I think a person that is reasonable and cares about us will take our issues into account going forward - but that is just a bonus. They don't have to nor should we expect them to.
- November 4th, 2009, 07:48 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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jayjay ...is relieved that the homebuyer's tax credit has been extended.

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legend29 wrote :
OMG....UG2BK!!!!!!

I was like dating this guy that was like 15 years younger than me when I was in my early 30's, and he was like sooooo much of a headache cause he had sooooo much baggage...but I figured NMP and thought to myself DEGT....so for COL I can't deal with even thinking about baggage and age CUZ for COL baggage can be like at any age...you know!

Sorry...BTDT!

(Isn't 20y/o lingo grand??????)...lol
like....omg....you are soooo my bff.
- November 4th, 2009, 08:01 pm
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