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nightling nightling is online now
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nightling -- there is pain, there is rain. No one's ever completely sane.

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PR_Princess wrote :
The cloth towel you just dried yourself off with or a paper disposable towel....it makes a difference.
It does? Why?

lol
- November 3rd, 2009, 02:17 pm
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vinlukin wrote :
Saturday we are supposed to hit a museum, I'm going to eat right before she gets here so I won't be hungry all day. I'm going to wait until she is so hungry she suggests getting something to eat, then technically it would be her idea, plus I'm going to give her the where are you taking me to line.

I can't fault your reasoning or strategy, but I think this is passive-aggressive.

Her attitude is not a small thing: that she expects, or will accept, a subsidy will be material to your P&L for as long as you know her.

I think it is better to take the opportunity to state your feelings, and get her's.
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:18 pm
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shoopthedoop wrote :
I wonder if it can sometimes just be a matter of upbringing and not entitlement at all.

I dated a woman who never said thanks. She was relatively thoughtful most of the time. She was fair when it came to going out and paying for things. (She didn't pay exactly half the time, but meh close enough.) At first the not saying thanks drove me nuts.

If you’re splitting costs or alternating, I agree it is unnecessary to express gratitude.

But, his date wasn’t.

The combination of no reciprocation and no gratitude is beyond bad upbringing – and discordant with the common, lame, excuse of “traditionalism.”
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:27 pm
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nightling wrote :
It does? Why?

lol
It just dawned on me.....think about if he dried himself first, then use the same towel to dry the shower walls...if she's a germaphobe, then she'll freak out.

Kinda like some people are freaked out about sharing soap......
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:36 pm
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Some people don't say thank you, perhaps that makes them rude, perhaps it really doesn't matter. Is she cute? Do you enjoy her company? Do you not enjoy doing things to make her happy? If you enjoyed the dates and were happy to make her happy, just keep dating her and enjoy yourself.
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:40 pm
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stevex wrote :
Do you not enjoy doing things to make her happy? If you enjoyed the dates and were happy to make her happy, just keep dating her and enjoy yourself.

While she keeps getting wealthier, at his expense, and he keeps getting poorer, to her benefit?

Gotta call you for not seeing past your nose!

When he runs out of money she dumps him for a richer target. Pleanty of women are enjoyable without being a leech.
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:45 pm
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stevex wrote :
Some people don't say thank you, perhaps that makes them rude, perhaps it really doesn't matter. Is she cute? Do you enjoy her company? Do you not enjoy doing things to make her happy? If you enjoyed the dates and were happy to make her happy, just keep dating her and enjoy yourself.
I'd say somebody's cute doesn't mean that they have the rights to be rude. Maybe that's life sometimes, some people are unkind because they think they get away with it.

The OP just needs to decide whether he wants to continue being subjected to that kind of treatment or not. If he did, then he can't complain about it later.
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:53 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
While she keeps getting wealthier, at his expense, and he keeps getting poorer, to her benefit?

Gotta call you for not seeing past your nose!

When he runs out of money she dumps him for a richer target. Pleanty of women are enjoyable without being a leech.
If a guy is getting poor to benefit a woman he is in a relationship with that is a problem. I personally never spend what I don't have. I mean I might go without buying myself a new toy to buy someone I am dating a nice gift but I still make sure I treat myself to gifts.

I would also wonder, even though this woman doesn't say thank you, does she do things that show she is thankful? I just believe there are a certain number of people who just don't say thank you, doesn't make them good or bad or leeches just people who were never taught to say thank you.
- November 3rd, 2009, 03:55 pm
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Gotta jump in here and say regardless if couples are taking turns, splitting costs, whatever - Thank You is still in order: Thank you for a nice time, thank you for such a great date idea, etc... It needs to be said - gratitude (for whatever) should always be expressed. The lack of expressions of gratitude leads to one or the other being taken for granted. To the OP, you should expect no less.

As far as one poster commented: I disagree - cute people don't deserve special treatment just because of their genetics.
- November 3rd, 2009, 04:02 pm
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Gumbee wrote :
As far as one poster commented: I disagree - cute people don't deserve special treatment just because of their genetics.
My comment was tongue in cheek, of course her being cute doesn't matter when it comes to that. The point was if he was attracted to her and enjoyed her company than A) perhaps he can over look such an indiscretion.

I might also add, if it has a serious problem with her, he needs to tell her about it. Tell her it bothers him, but he will need to do it in a way that isn't offensive to her.
- November 3rd, 2009, 04:08 pm
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