hazmat is offline hazmat Post #51  November 3,2009, 7:17am
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Lack of common courtesy is a deal breaker. At this point in your relationship, aren't people normally trying to show themselves in the best light ? Don't expect Little Miss Entitled to get any more gracious.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #52  November 3,2009, 8:20am
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Some people just forget to say thank you. This does not necessarily make them a bad person. When you feel that a "thank you" you could just say "you're welcome". If she responds with a thank you then she jst needs some training and you can keep her. If she looks at you as though you are nuts then she is a princess and you should dump her.

I can't help you with the paying thing. I can't say as I have ever gone out with anyone for several dates where they had not at least offered to pay for something.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #53  November 3,2009, 9:46am
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hazmat wrote :
Lack of common courtesy is a deal breaker. At this point in your relationship, aren't people normally trying to show themselves in the best light ? Don't expect Little Miss Entitled to get any more gracious.
Gotta agree with Haz here. Manners are a big deal to me, as well, and if she can't even say thank you when she's giving her best, what's her worst going to be? Do you even want to know?
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #54  November 3,2009, 9:48am
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bwr wrote :
She is a golddigger and just using you
Over dinner? I don't think so. She doesn't have social graces, but this is hardly the sign of a gold digger.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #55  November 3,2009, 10:03am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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As a kid, growing up, if I didn't say thank you my Mom would slap me.

I'm not suggesting you slap her ()

But why not tell her that a friend of yours told you that when she was a kid, growing up, if she didn't say thank you her Mom would slap her. Your friend is an adult now with impeccable manners and a very proud Mom.

You never know.

Thanks for reading.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #56  November 3,2009, 10:08am

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bwr wrote :
She is a golddigger and just using you
Although I think OP's girflriend has minimal manners, she is not a gold digger based on four dinner experience. Too early to tell.

Raised in a barn with no etiquette, yes. But not a gold digger.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #57  November 3,2009, 11:18am

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vinlukin wrote :
I've been on four dates with this new girl and I've picked up on a few things but one thing stands out. She has never told me thanks for anything. It is almost like she expects the things I'm doing, and I do believe she was very spoiled as a child and growing up.

No I don't think I'm owed anything. But I've also paid for everything, she has not even offered which I find strange. I've picked up all the tabs, I'm the one that has been doing the driving, etc. Yet even for something as simple as holding a door open gets no reply.

Is it me or is it not too much to ask for a simple 'thanks'? Also what is a good way to imply that I'm not paying for every thing, every time?

There are no rules governing, How to be a door mat.
There are rules about being ungracious or people who are lacking common courtesy and those are called warnings or Red Flags!

Be warned that she is a user and as long as your willing to give she is willing to take! Things will not get better there will get worse as time goes by. Drop her and you can tell her off, if you would like to but it's a waste of time.

Harvey7.
Last edited by Harvey7; November 3,2009 at 11:20am.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #58  November 3,2009, 12:28pm
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Courtesy is never too much to ask for, but not everyone thinks that showing manners applies to them. If you think she is spoiled then the chances are that she probably is, otherwise you wouldn't be getting that impression strongly enough to bother you, but bringing up your concerns in a conversation is awkward, it's my experience that the more spoiled someone is, the more offended they are when it's pointed out to them.
So the question is do you think you can live with it?
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #59  November 3,2009, 12:36pm
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tbesq wrote :
Thanks for the clarification. However, I don't think "wooing" has anything to do with money. The point of wooing is to win someone over with your personality and your character, at least in my opinion. I understand taking the lead financially during the dating process to "ceremoniously" prove the ability to provide, but too many women fail to give due importance to personality. Additionally, too many men spend beyond their means to "woo," so you're not always getting an accurate picture of his potential to provide. Based on your moniker, and with my understanding of the traditional Hispanic family, I can certainly understand your viewpoint.
Where are these mythical men....I have never met them, not even in passing! (present company excluded of course) Spending beyond someone's means is not what I was going for here...showing initiative is more like it. I guess it is my working class background kicking in. Too many women in my circle getting stuck with the "bill" in the end...the man becoming lazy and complacent after "sealing the deal" These men had plenty of personality and "character"(I'm using that term loosely) to trick the woman into thinking they were more than what they were.

Everything in life is money..."free" events just means someone else footed the bill for your entertainment/pleasure out of their good will. So it is not so much about money as it is what you do with it. No one likes a miser. I am generous with my time, affection, and support....so money is the least of what you can "provide"...just the icing on hopefully a delicious cake
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #60  November 3,2009, 12:41pm
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vinlukin wrote :
For those that are asking about why I'm still dating her, well it usually takes me a bit more than a couple of sidesteps to get bothered. The last girl I dated got freaked out because I wiped her shower out with the towel after I used it. I was just thinking of cleaning up after myself. She thought it was too strange and that was one of the reasons she said why she wanted to break up. I refuse to be that person who dumps someone over something so stupid.

I also believe this behavior might not entirely be her fault and that her parents should hold some of the blame. I have the feeling they didn't tell her no very much. She is in her mid 20's so I would have thought she would know better though.

The cloth towel you just dried yourself off with or a paper disposable towel....it makes a difference.
 
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