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She is a golddigger and just using you
- November 2nd, 2009, 10:40 pm
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Or else has some serious emotion issues that you probably dont want to know or deal with down the road.
- November 2nd, 2009, 10:41 pm
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OP, quit trying to rationalize her behavior as good and quit trying to guess about her. Step up and communicate with her and find out what's really going on. If she dumps you for bringing it up, then you got your answer and she was using you.

The longer you wait and put up with it, the more it will hurt later.
- November 2nd, 2009, 10:46 pm
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bwr wrote :
She is a golddigger and just using you
Since when is dinner "gold"? The word "golddigger' has been
corrupted beyond all recognition.
- November 3rd, 2009, 04:01 am
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vinlukin wrote :
Saturday we are supposed to hit a museum, I'm going to eat right before she gets here so I won't be hungry all day. I'm going to wait until she is so hungry she suggests getting something to eat, then technically it would be her idea, plus I'm going to give her the where are you taking me to line.
This is passive-aggressiveness at its finest. If you're unhappy with the current arrangement, open your mouth and tell her prior to your date. If you spring this move on her mid date, she: #1 might not have funds with her to cover the meal, #2 your hostility over the issue will be obvious, as she may interpret the maneuver as a set up, and #3 she might not respect you as one who can voice his opinions over a matter he feels so strongly about in an appropriate venue and timeframe, but instead lets his feelings fester and manifest out of proportion to the issue.
- November 3rd, 2009, 04:13 am
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Also OP, hate it or love it--right or wrong, your date is showing you by her consistent actions what her stance is on the paying issue. By your consistent actions, you demonstrate that you are OK with paying. Who is being genuine here? In the future, to thine own self be true upfront and you won't have these problems.
- November 3rd, 2009, 04:28 am
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vinlukin wrote :
The last girl I dated got freaked out because I wiped her shower out with the towel after I used it. I was just thinking of cleaning up after myself. She thought it was too strange and that was one of the reasons she said why she wanted to break up.
I think it was very thoughtful of you doing that. I always do the same myself, can't stand a shower covered in old water spots.

I went out with a guy who said he didn't have much money so I paid every time for the meals, traveling and so forth and it came to a point where it nearly cleaned me out. Strangely enough, he always had money for adding gadgets to his hobby and buying souvenirs for his grown-up kids and the ex-wife.
- November 3rd, 2009, 07:23 am
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p_babe wrote :
Sigh! These are the women that ruin it for the rest of us. Get another woman who will treat you better and show appreciation.
My thoughts exactly!
- November 3rd, 2009, 07:51 am
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Shelby wrote :
This sounds like something George Costanza would dream up... Another Seinfeldian moment...
My thoughts exactly!
- November 3rd, 2009, 07:56 am
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flowerchild66 wrote :
This is passive-aggressiveness at its finest. If you're unhappy with the current arrangement, open your mouth and tell her prior to your date. If you spring this move on her mid date, she: #1 might not have funds with her to cover the meal, #2 your hostility over the issue will be obvious, as she may interpret the maneuver as a set up, and #3 she might not respect you as one who can voice his opinions over a matter he feels so strongly about in an appropriate venue and timeframe, but instead lets his feelings fester and manifest out of proportion to the issue.
Yes, it is totally passive-aggressive. It could be very effective.

#1. If she doesn't have the funds on her, that drives home the point even more.

#2. There is no need for the hostility to be obvious. What's the real difference between "Where do you want to go?" and "Where are you taking me?"

#3. Who gives a frak if she doesn't 'respect' the OP? If she is a fair person, she'll realize the little nudge he gave her means it's probably about time for her to cover a meal. If she really thinks he should be paying every time, including their fifth date, then he's better off without her.
- November 3rd, 2009, 08:12 am
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