D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #11  November 2,2009, 5:23pm
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PR_Princess wrote :
I'm an old fashioned gal so I expect the provider to provide...

Hi, I'm an old fashoined guy so I expect a woman to submit to her man and the labor market to insure she is marginalized into meaningless clerical roles regardless of her skills.

Until then, you have no right to my money.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #12  November 2,2009, 5:28pm
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vinlukin wrote :
I've been on four dates with this new girl and I've picked up on a few things but one thing stands out. She has never told me thanks for anything. It is almost like she expects the things I'm doing, and I do believe she was very spoiled as a child and growing up.

No I don't think I'm owed anything. But I've also paid for everything, she has not even offered which I find strange. I've picked up all the tabs, I'm the one that has been doing the driving, etc. Yet even for something as simple as holding a door open gets no reply.

Is it me or is it not too much to ask for a simple 'thanks'? Also what is a good way to imply that I'm not paying for every thing, every time?
It's not you and it won't get better.

I don't think implying is the way to go. I think starting out as you mean to finish is the way to go. If you go on two dates and a woman hasn't so much as offered to cover the tip or buy you a coffee, that is a woman with either an overdeveloped sense of entitlement or an underdeveloped sense of social obligation.

There are people in the world who have an attitude of gratitude and then there are the others. There are people who are generous and cooperative in their relationships and then there are the others.

Pick the one you want.

If you pick the other kind eventually all your friends will get tired of hearing you complain about it. Then you'll have no friends and a rude, greedy girlfriend (and we'll give you all kinds of hell if you complain about the same thing over and over here.)
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #13  November 2,2009, 5:30pm

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Next time you're out with her, just leave you wallet and home. See if Barbie can whip out some plastic.


vinlukin, Thanks for creating this thread!
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; November 2,2009 at 6:50pm.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #14  November 2,2009, 5:31pm
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PR_Princess wrote :
I feel for you on this topic...I've had similar experiences...brief Not brief enough in some instances. Some people are not very verbal with their thanks....they tend to be the same type of people who have a problem saying "I love you"....doesn't mean they don't appreciate but they usually show it in other ways (non verbally or in gestures) There's only one person I have met in my life that I thought was a keeper and he was very good at all three. I'm an old fashioned gal so I expect the provider to provide...but a woman that doesn't show "appropriate"appreciation seems like a person that should be cut loose. (I say appropriate since some guys equate a meal with an open bedroom policy )
If you're financially independent even as a spouse, is the man really a "provider"? To provide for someone suggests that person can't provide for themselves. And that's basically not how things are these days for the most part if you're not a child or a pet. Just seeking clarification.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #15  November 2,2009, 5:36pm
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tbesq wrote :
And that's basically not how things are these days for the most part if you're not a child or a pet. Just seeking clarification.

Enlightenment.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #16  November 2,2009, 5:38pm
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CaptCrunch23 wrote :
Next time you're out with her, just leave you wallet and home. See if Barbie can whip out some plastic.


vinlukin, Thanks for creating this thread!
Now you know perfectly well if he does that she'll come here and start a thread complaining about the loser who stuck her with the bill after asking for a date.

Personally, I offer to help pay the first time and I insist on the second. If a man has issues with that, it's open for communication and negotiation, but I'm not looking to be bought and paid for (and if I was, the price would be considerably higher than a handful of dinners).
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #17  November 2,2009, 5:40pm
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Does she show "thanks" in other ways?

Is she emotionally responsive? Does she seem appreciative (even if she doesn't say the actual "thanks" word)? Keeps up her half in the conversation? Show a genuine interest in you? Offer to cook you something and/or suggest different dates?

Some women have trouble saying thanks but they show it in other ways.

If it's "no" on all counts...and you get an entitlement vibe...well, there's your answer.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #18  November 2,2009, 5:55pm
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Do you thank her?

Ti.t for tat, or rather, tat for ti.t, take your pick.

- Saul
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #19  November 2,2009, 6:00pm
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tbesq wrote :
If you're financially independent even as a spouse, is the man really a "provider"? To provide for someone suggests that person can't provide for themselves. And that's basically not how things are these days for the most part if you're not a child or a pet. Just seeking clarification.
ROFL...I would see how some people might get the wrong impression just based on my username We don't have monarchy in the world today...at least not in the traditional sense...so the providership is solely based on ceremony. I grew up in a 2 income household because money makes the world go round....not "traditional gender roles". It's all part of the romantic dance we call wooing...and I'd rather he take the lead....if you ever saw me dance you'd understand why this was a good thing
 
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melman is offline melman Post #20  November 2,2009, 6:07pm
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vinlukin wrote :
I've been on four dates with this new girl and I've picked up on a few things but one thing stands out. She has never told me thanks for anything.
And you continue to take her out... why?

I'd hold off on asking for another date and let her make the contact. And then say that I wondered if she really wanted to continue seeing me because she didn't seem appreciative at all. And then "so where are you taking me?"
 
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