speaksosoftly is offline speaksosoftly Post #1  November 1,2009, 12:34pm
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I am in the active duty military, I am stationed about 800 miles away from my hometown. One of my female friends from home is coming to visit me next weekend, we have never had a romantic relationship but are willing to give it a try. We have great chemistry and are physically attracted to each other. I am very split about how to handle this situation though. Since we live so far apart visiting her more than a few times a year would be out of the question. I am not sure whether I should just take the weekend for what it is or try and pursue something further.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  November 1,2009, 2:24pm
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In my view, it is unadvised to enter into a long distance “relationship” (meaning, an agreement to be exclusive), unless you have the funds and time to see each other at the rate sufficient to maintain momentum and satisfaction.

To my taste, a few times per year is not enough. Of course, being in the (enlisted) military makes this somewhat par for the course, so you ought to have friends you can get better wisdom from?

She deserves the truth about your intentions and thoughts. Tell her honestly and let her decide.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #3  November 1,2009, 2:24pm
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What's wrong with just enjoying the weekend? Try to avoid the entanglement of sex unless you are both very clear on what it is and isn't going to be about. But, if there is an attraction and you've both talked about the possibility, why not explore that? Engage in some activity-based dating and continue the dialogue but don't put either one of you in the position of getting too attached before you're both able and willing to commit to an actual relationship.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #4  November 1,2009, 3:41pm
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Distance can be a temporary thing if both parties want it to be at some point.

So maybe just be honest about your conflicted feelings and keep your options open?
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #5  November 2,2009, 8:25am
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I would tell her exactly what you posted. Then you can talk about what a potential relationship would look like.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  November 2,2009, 8:47am
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Some good advice from the others and I think that Georgetheman is right on.
 
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