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jayjay jayjay is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
On eH I suspect that a lot of my matches are outside my upper age bracket and lying their a$$e$ off about that. Do other women find this? Could it be that men are vainer / more insecure about age than women?
I doubt it's vanity. It's likely what you wrote....that you're turned off by older men looking for younger women, so they lie so they aren't closed immediately by those younger women.
- November 2nd, 2009, 06:43 am
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KungFuFtr wrote :
Older women who don't act their age can actually appear older than they are.
Now you tell me.

CaptCrunch23 wrote :
Somehow I have a vision of Ed Hardy shirts and trucker hats in my head!!
Blarg. that disaster is not not exclusive to middle aged women.
- November 2nd, 2009, 06:58 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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trixie1868 wrote :
I do judge harshly if a man around my age (41) says he's looking for someone 20 - 35. If in the course of life you do meet and fall in love with someone half your age then that is what it is. Absolutely fine. But to be actively looking for someone who is sooooo much younger than you smacks of vast immaturity in my opinion. Wanting a relationship with someone who's life experience (or lack of it) will be so different from yours makes me think that they aren't man enough to be with a woman their own age.

Could it be that men are vainer / more insecure about age than women?

You should see the women's profiles, then!

They usually specifiy an age reguirement much older then their own, so any man experienced with online dating knows that women want older men.

Wanting older men goes with wanting more money. (And taller.)
- November 2nd, 2009, 03:47 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is online now
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trixie1868 wrote :
In real life if a man approaches me he is almost always younger than me. On eH I suspect that a lot of my matches are outside my upper age bracket and lying their a$$e$ off about that. Do other women find this?
Yeah, I get that, too. Guys that are interested in me in real life are usually 25-35. On the internet... I'm never really sure, but the majority don't look as young as they say.

Part of my problem is that I look a little bit younger than I am, in addition to liking older men. So the 55-year-old man I'd be interested in thinks I'm 37 and figures that's a bit beyond his comfort zone. Meanwhile, the 25-year-old thinks I'm a cougar. Either way, not good.

Still, I feel like lying to someone (even if you fess up pretty quickly) is manipulative and kind of gives them the right to lie to me as well. So I won't.
- November 2nd, 2009, 04:35 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
You should see the women's profiles, then!
I'd love to. Other dating sites let you have a sneaky peak at the 'competition' by pretending to be a man and searching the women in your own town and age. Always interesting.


D_Lion wrote :
Wanting older men goes with wanting more money. (And taller.)
My older ex was short and earned exactly the same as me. I thought I was in to him because he had blue eyes, a head full of fabulous gray hair, was well read, well travelled, clever, witty and incredible in bed. I'd go for a package just like this again but what do I know, sometimes I'm such an amateur.
- November 2nd, 2009, 04:54 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
You should see the women's profiles, then!

They usually specifiy an age reguirement much older then their own, so any man experienced with online dating knows that women want older men.

Wanting older men goes with wanting more money. (And taller.)
This interpretation is interesting to me. I wouldn't have thought that there necessarily would be a negative or cynical assumption associated with a woman seeking to be matched with an older man. On eH at least, the match wouldn't happen at all unless both parties consented to the age pairing, so presumably neither party would necessarily have a problem with it. But from the woman's point of view, especially if she is of a "certain age", your chances of men within 5 years of your age wanting to be matched with you goes way down. They want younger, especially, as one poster pointed out, if they are thinking about having children.

All other things being equal I would prefer a man my age, but I would get far, far less communication if I didn't open myself up to matches 10 to 15 years older. Once the match is made, I attempt to see what the real motivation is. Some men make it very clear that they want someone my age and that they have no interest in women their own age. That turns me way off. If they seem, like me, not to be obsessed with age but are simply receptive to a range, that's great. It has absolutely nothing to do with money. Period. I do expect, however, a man 15 years older to be financially stable. Not rich, but together enough that he doesn't need any support from me. It just couldn't work otherwise. I just don't have the means to fund someone else's retirement, especially if that time isn't that far away. A man my age would need less, as he is still more firmly in his "accumulating" years. I assume that men getting matched with younger women could just as easily take the time to assess their goals.
- November 3rd, 2009, 12:14 am
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BigHitVixen BigHitVixen is offline
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On the original topic, I don't think your friend should lie about her age if she signs up for eH. The whole point is to put her factual info out there and hope that the right man bites.
The only problem that I'm having with my matches on eH is getting them to finish the guided communication so we can move on to open communication and, from there, arrange to meet.
The other problem I'm having is that the men say that they are looking for a woman who fits my description in more tomboyish activities and interests, but what they really want is a girlier woman who will just stand around and batt her lashes. This drives me crazy! I like who I am and how I am, but I'm beginning to think that I'm going to have to wear makeup to go fishing and ask the man to bait my hook. That sucks! I don't want to be fake just to get a man to give me a chance! :-P
- November 3rd, 2009, 04:25 am
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BigHitVixen wrote :
...but I'm beginning to think that I'm going to have to wear makeup to go fishing and ask the man to bait my hook. That sucks! I don't want to be fake just to get a man to give me a chance! :-P
Well, the makeup part may be more true than you think. It doesn't bother me because I automatically spend 5 minutes throwing on the paint job every day, then just forget about it and get dirty anyway. What makes it fun is that wearing makeup and looking feminine can turn you into a "stealth" competitor and actually give you an advantage. They'll assume you're just fluff, right up until the point when you win. Not to mention you'll get more romantic attention as well.

If it goes against a personal belief, then don't wear it, but otherwise I'd give it a chance. Once it's on, you forget it's even there.

Take it from someone who spends all day doing a "man job" and has plenty of experience with motorcycles and fishing. But I have to admit, I would never stoop to having him bait my hook.
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:56 am
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alissag wrote :
Hmmm... April 1st... LMAO, as in, let me take you on a magic carpet ride... silly really... If you want to read my DL, have at it! I have nothing to hide!
I don't care what it says on your driver's license;

If -- as you say -- You "have nothing to hide", well, then show up for our date in a revealing, sexy sundress!!!

"Automatic" extra points for THAT !! lolz
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:27 am
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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Annnnne wrote :

What should I tell her? Ladies would you lie about your age? Men, what would you do if you met a beautiful, smart, funny, established woman and found out later that she took 5 years off of her age on her profile? Also, men who are in their late 30s early 40s, would you pass over someone who was 38 if you still wanted to have kids?
Point A. What age men is she looking at. I'm 49 and most get responses from early 40s ... I guessing she get noticed by men in mid 40s.

Point B. Does she want children. She's really missed the boat on that one. But I don't see that men are too focused on having children at anh age ... but if they were, they'd be looking at someone in late 20s max.

Point C. Men in 40~50s are mostly going to be into 2nd relationships, and have children already.

Point D. Why lie ... it'll be obvious from 1st date ... she'll at least have to have plan on explaining such ... ie, I didn't want to be stuck with fuddy duddies.
- November 3rd, 2009, 06:51 am
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