Dating a virgin ~ the holy grail of dating or a burdonsome responsibility? Discuss.


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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #1  November 1,2009, 12:12pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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This came up in another thread so rather than hijack it we're doing this.


If you knew you were dating a virgin would it please you or trouble you?

Is it a heavy responsibility? Or is it a rare and precious pearl?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  November 1,2009, 12:17pm
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I have (I am pretty sure, though she did not state.)

It was neither here nor there. At our age (low 20's), it was within the bounds of foreseeable outcomes. It was a long way from being the biggest concern I had with her.

I do not ask about sex experience, and do not really care; it does not define a woman until she makes it so.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  November 1,2009, 12:17pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Actually, I don't get what the 'heavy responsibility' would be. I also wouldn't call it the 'holy grail'....but see no reason to be turned off simply by the fact that a woman was a virgin.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #4  November 1,2009, 12:22pm
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Interesting.

I have a male friend who went absolutely off his tree because he was with a woman who was a virgin and did not tell him before the main event. 'She should have told me' he stormed to me. I was confused by this and when I queried why, I got a look of total incredulity and he stormed off.

I still don't get it.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #5  November 1,2009, 12:33pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
If you knew you were dating a virgin would it please you or trouble you?
Oh, how would you know ! you were dating a virgin. The term is social contruct devoid of any significant meaning.

But I suppose if someone my own age said they had not had sex before, I say that's nice and would be on my way.

I also recall that when much younger I could claim to say the same. I reacall some embarrasment (and excitment) due to inexperince.
 
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alissag is offline alissag Post #6  November 1,2009, 1:06pm
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The heavy responsibility comes with the deep emotional attachment most virgins put upon and expect to have with their "first".

I think pertains to those a bit younger than myself, so....

In my earlier years, I did have guy friends that were freaked out if a girl was a virgin. Usually, because they didn't need a deep emotional attachment with a woman to have sex, yet, understood that a virgin did. A virgin will only give that gift to a very special someone.

I also had a friend who touted herself as a virgin... She had done EVERYTHING else with her SO/boyfriend EXCEPT vag intercourse. Does that make her a virgin? Technically, yes. Yet, others would disagree.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #7  November 1,2009, 1:10pm
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Never dated a virgin so i couldn't really say, i think it would probably make me more aware of not wanting to set a bad example but beyond that i really don't know.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #8  November 1,2009, 4:47pm
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I was in a relationship with a woman for a few months this year, (met on EH btw) that told me, (that at age 51 with 3 adult children!!!) with bright shiny eyes she was a BORN-AGAIN virgin.

And holding out for "the rock":

To this, I countered with TWO things:

1. This "gift" is usually of more value to the "GIVER" than to the "GIFTED".


2. In a relationship that is serious (this one was becoming that) a couple should be compatible in ALL. respects, and to me personally, SEX is not the LEAST important of these.



She remain unmoved.


Soon thereafter, I called it quits and moved on.


I wish her good luck;
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #9  November 1,2009, 4:51pm
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alissag wrote :
.

I also had a friend who touted herself as a virgin... She had done EVERYTHING else with her SO/boyfriend EXCEPT vag intercourse. Does that make her a virgin? Technically, yes. Yet, others would disagree.


Ahhhh the "TECHNICAL Virgin".


I had always wondered if those were an endangered species.

Evidently they are NOT.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #10  November 1,2009, 5:09pm
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and somehow no one really addresses why being a virgin would be the holy grail to a young guy ...
 
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