Dating a virgin ~ the holy grail of dating or a burdonsome responsibility? Discuss.


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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #201  November 4,2009, 10:21am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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librarybabe wrote :
He thought it was somewhat hypocritical or ironic that an inexperienced woman would want a man to have experience. But he didn't remark on why it was odd that an experienced man would be prefer an inexperienced woman. Or is that why he started the baggage & age thread?
I'd call it 'inconsistent'. I don't mean there's anything wrong with what she wanted. But regarding the 'baggage & age' thread... I don't equate youth with lack of sexual experience.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #202  November 4,2009, 10:37am
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jayjay wrote :
I'd call it 'inconsistent'. I don't mean there's anything wrong with what she wanted. .
why though? I'm not being a jerk, I'm just truly confused. i would think it would be quite normal if you were unexperienced and possibly bored after x amount of years with the same man you'd want to be with someone who was experienced.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #203  November 4,2009, 10:44am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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scarlet13 wrote :
why though? I'm not being a jerk, I'm just truly confused. i would think it would be quite normal if you were unexperienced and possibly bored after x amount of years with the same man you'd want to be with someone who was experienced.
Yeah, that's a good reason. At the same time it does seem to be one of those 'double standards' people talk (complain, usually) about. Just as there are reasons why someone who doesn't make much money could want to be with someone who makes substantially more, etc.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #204  November 4,2009, 10:52am
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jayjay wrote :
Yeah, that's a good reason. At the same time it does seem to be one of those 'double standards' people talk (complain, usually) about. Just as there are reasons why someone who doesn't make much money could want to be with someone who makes substantially more, etc.
i'm going to annoy you.

again, why? was she in a LTR and that's why she only had one partner? or is she the type of person that saves it for a LTR?

there is a double standard WRT number of partners for men and women, maybe she is conscious of that, and that's why?
 
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knittingtakesballs is offline knittingtakesballs Post #205  November 4,2009, 11:14am
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One of my closest friends is a virgin still at 26. I think tho, that he perpetuates his never had a GF/never had sex with his extreeeeeeme lack of self-confidence. In fact, he openly expresses, not even just subtly, to all women, his very lower than low self esteem.

It's funny that he has been physical with girls before but once the sex was about to take place they freaked out that he was a virgin and felt like he was saving it for something special, though he was not. He really just wants to get it over with.

As a woman, I would not want to date a virgin. I don't want to date a man-slut either, but I would prefer to be with someone who knew how to navigate.

I think if I were a guy I'd also prefer someone who was intuitive in the bedroom, and I don't think it takes a lot of experience to know. Even having one long term relationship where there was sexual activity could make someone more knowledgable.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #206  November 4,2009, 11:26am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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scarlet13 wrote :
i'm going to annoy you.

again, why? was she in a LTR and that's why she only had one partner? or is she the type of person that saves it for a LTR?

there is a double standard WRT number of partners for men and women, maybe she is conscious of that, and that's why?
Oh....you mean that particular woman. Ok. She was born and raised in China and very 'conservative'. The 'one man' was her ex husband.

You mean....women can actually embrace double standards? Maybe that's something relegated to other countries.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #207  November 4,2009, 11:29am
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jayjay wrote :
Oh....you mean that particular woman. Ok. She was born and raised in China and very 'conservative'. The 'one man' was her ex husband.

You mean....women can actually embrace double standards? Maybe that's something relegated to other countries.
that particular double standard is pure garbage, IMO.

but women didnt make that one up, either.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #208  November 4,2009, 11:43am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Not really my field of expertise but I suspect if you're prepared to be celibate whilst you wait for the right one, once you've found the right one you'll stay with them. Sex clearly isn't a temptation with universal affects.

Good sex requires only one thing. That you really want to have that sex. To prove my point there can't be many people on here, with a failed relationship behind them and memories of that lack lustre sex you have toward the end when you're trying to convince yourself that it's still ok. Likewise there can't be many people on here who don't hope to meet someone great and have their desire for sex rekindled on a daily basis. It's good if you truly want to have sex with that person. It's bad if you don't particularly want to have sex with that person. It has very little to do with technical expertise or practise in my opinion.

If you're only with one person but it's the person you really want to be with then you'll both enjoy the sex. It doesn't matter if it's not olympic standard, it'll please the people doing it and that's all you can ask for.

'Straying' is down to a certain personality type. It doesn't matter how much sex a 'strayer' has or hasn't had. If it's in them to be restless and they feel that they can only reinvigorate their desire with new people then they will stray. Recent virgin or not.
 
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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #209  November 4,2009, 12:19pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
Not really my field of expertise but I suspect if you're prepared to be celibate whilst you wait for the right one, once you've found the right one you'll stay with them. Sex clearly isn't a temptation with universal affects.

Good sex requires only one thing. That you really want to have that sex. To prove my point there can't be many people on here, with a failed relationship behind them and memories of that lack lustre sex you have toward the end when you're trying to convince yourself that it's still ok. Likewise there can't be many people on here who don't hope to meet someone great and have their desire for sex rekindled on a daily basis. It's good if you truly want to have sex with that person. It's bad if you don't particularly want to have sex with that person. It has very little to do with technical expertise or practise in my opinion.

If you're only with one person but it's the person you really want to be with then you'll both enjoy the sex. It doesn't matter if it's not olympic standard, it'll please the people doing it and that's all you can ask for.

'Straying' is down to a certain personality type. It doesn't matter how much sex a 'strayer' has or hasn't had. If it's in them to be restless and they feel that they can only reinvigorate their desire with new people then they will stray. Recent virgin or not.
Nice job Trixie! Shall I crown you the Virgin Queen? No? Then, I'll just give you 5 stars.
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #210  November 4,2009, 1:50pm
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wrote :
why though? I'm not being a jerk, I'm just truly confused. i would think it would be quite normal if you were unexperienced and possibly bored after x amount of years with the same man you'd want to be with someone who was experienced.
Just remember though in doing that a person is in fact placing a "value" on sexual experience. So if you're putting a value on sexual experience then you have to submit that there will be those that place a value on a lack of experience or virginity, for whatever reason.
 
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