Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 3 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
brneyedangel's Avatar

brneyedangel would greatly appreciate it if her voice would find its way back to her!

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,099

See profile

hazmat wrote :
Duly noted.

I just don't feel life is so black and white. He didn't lie to cause harm, the guy just wants to get on with his life. I'm sure none of us has ever made a mistake and had to apologize for it. He must like her (or the idea of her) quite a bit to continue trying. What a waste not to at least give it a cup of coffee.
I see the point that you are trying to make here, Hazmat. I can see how he would want to get on with his life, but I guess what I'm having trouble getting past is why lie about being divorced? I mean, had he explained it, she may very well have understood. I know I've had things explained to me that others may not have understood (not this kind of thing), but I did understand, and in those cases if I would have been asked to be patient with the situation and give the guy a chance, I would have done so in a heartbeat. Just my two cents.
- November 1st, 2009, 06:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
hazmat hazmat is offline
hazmat's Avatar

hazmat is home

Veteran

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 2,037

See profile

brneyedangel wrote :
I see the point that you are trying to make here, Hazmat. I can see how he would want to get on with his life, but I guess what I'm having trouble getting past is why lie about being divorced? I mean, had he explained it, she may very well have understood. I know I've had things explained to me that others may not have understood (not this kind of thing), but I did understand, and in those cases if I would have been asked to be patient with the situation and give the guy a chance, I would have done so in a heartbeat. Just my two cents.

Why did he lie about it ? (The following statements do not mean that I condone lying ) Read through this thread and you'll see a good reason why. Look at all the people beating him up and judging him because he dared to show interest in a woman while still "legally" married. He's been separated for 3 years with the divorce papers filed, yet his life is still being run by a warped legal system and a spouse who seems to like drama. If the divorce is final now, then his story would seem to be true. Yeah, he made a mistake by lying, and he knew it. If the papers were already filed, he basically lied about when it would be final. How many times should he apologize ?
- November 1st, 2009, 07:02 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
brneyedangel's Avatar

brneyedangel would greatly appreciate it if her voice would find its way back to her!

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,099

See profile

hazmat wrote :
Why did he lie about it ? (The following statements do not mean that I condone lying ) Read through this thread and you'll see a good reason why. Look at all the people beating him up and judging him because he dared to show interest in a woman while still "legally" married. He's been separated for 3 years with the divorce papers filed, yet his life is still being run by a warped legal system and a spouse who seems to like drama. If the divorce is final now, then his story would seem to be true. Yeah, he made a mistake by lying, and he knew it. If the papers were already filed, he basically lied about when it would be final. How many times should he apologize ?
Point taken. Didn't mean to upset ya.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
hazmat hazmat is offline
hazmat's Avatar

hazmat is home

Veteran

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 2,037

See profile

Not upset, just passionate in my argument.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:43 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
brneyedangel's Avatar

brneyedangel would greatly appreciate it if her voice would find its way back to her!

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,099

See profile

hazmat wrote :
Not upset, just passionate in my argument.
It's all good.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:46 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
littlebluemonkeymind's Avatar

Power Poster

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 8,721

See profile

hazmat wrote :
Duly noted.

I just don't feel life is so black and white. He didn't lie to cause harm, the guy just wants to get on with his life. I'm sure none of us has ever made a mistake and had to apologize for it. He must like her (or the idea of her) quite a bit to continue trying. What a waste not to at least give it a cup of coffee.
I get what you're saying, Haz, and I agree that it's not always black and white but I have two sticking points here.

1. He lied again when she asked him straight up.
2. It's all about him. Him wanting to get on with his life. Him wanting to date. Him wanting to not be judged. Where in any of this is his concern or consideration for the women he might be meeting?

He may not have lied intending to cause harm but he lied to get what he wanted without regard for what she might have chosen given the full circumstances.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:53 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
hazmat hazmat is offline
hazmat's Avatar

hazmat is home

Veteran

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 2,037

See profile

littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
I get what you're saying, Haz, and I agree that it's not always black and white but I have two sticking points here.

1. He lied again when she asked him straight up.
2. It's all about him. Him wanting to get on with his life. Him wanting to date. Him wanting to not be judged. Where in any of this is his concern or consideration for the women he might be meeting?

He may not have lied intending to cause harm but he lied to get what he wanted without regard for what she might have chosen given the full circumstances.

And all those homeless guys are veterans and people with "will work for food" signs really want to mow your grass. People lie every day. This is coffee, not world peace. I made it about him, since no one else would take up the defense. And we make choices every single day without knowing the full circumstances. Some actually turn out great.

Maybe he lied because he was tired of being chased around by women with pitchforks and torches.
- November 1st, 2009, 08:45 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
littlebluemonkeymind's Avatar

Power Poster

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 8,721

See profile

hazmat wrote :
And all those homeless guys are veterans and people with "will work for food" signs really want to mow your grass. People lie every day. This is coffee, not world peace. I made it about him, since no one else would take up the defense. And we make choices every single day without knowing the full circumstances. Some actually turn out great.

Maybe he lied because he was tired of being chased around by women with pitchforks and torches.
Bored tonight, are we?

And you know perfectly well I have better weaponry than pitchforks and torches.
- November 1st, 2009, 08:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
hazmat hazmat is offline
hazmat's Avatar

hazmat is home

Veteran

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 2,037

See profile

littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Bored tonight, are we?

And you know perfectly well I have better weaponry than pitchforks and torches.

I shudder to think of the weaponry you have at hand Actually, I just like a good debate
- November 1st, 2009, 08:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I'm in love and always will be ... All that was there will be there still

Sage

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 10,620

See profile

6dle899 wrote :
Why would you want to date would-be adulters? Tell me please: What future is there in that for *YOU* ?

I am shocked at your statistics -- but I DO believe you. How disheartening, for people that would like to date you and who are unmarried.




His elaborate dance and rationalizing, and lies of omission, along with his admission he was lying on purpose, say all.


What a hormonally driven loser. Disgusting. Suppose he "forgot" to tell you he was a convicted child molester on parole too?

I ABSOLUTELY disagree with what the others have said!!!!


What is it about the concept of "STILL LEGALLY MARRIED" that so eludes everyone around here?

Still "legally" married = married.

Period.

Stay away.


You could be the NEXT victim, if heaven help you, you got married to someone like that, you already know they could easily justify cheating, using the same kinds of rationales.

Good grief.

No wonder this country is going to he ll in a handbasket, if 60% of your hits are from married men.

I am aghast.
Thank you for saying this so well.
- November 1st, 2009, 09:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 3 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 Last »

Bookmarks

« Aww Those Ickle Kids | Array | How do i talk to women ? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
being exclusive, when to change your facebook status treeye Relationships 17 December 15th, 2009 09:22 pm
What is the divorce rate among eHarmony couples? Has anyone heard any stories? Mr. Nice Guy Using eHarmony 12 October 17th, 2009 10:03 pm
Divorce Age: How Long to Wait saulgoode Relationships 12 August 26th, 2009 08:35 pm
Thinking about divorce..... Blossomed76 Relationships 12 June 2nd, 2009 03:34 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“No, you are missing the point that I was commenting on another aspect of it. Was my post that hard to understand? BTW, if the message she sent was the worse thing anyone ever said, that wouldn't be ... ” – Rustman

Join the “Stay Classy Matches” discussion

“I wish I could tell you Yuppa since I've never accepted one, I'm not quite sure how it does work. I'm assuming it's where your phone number and your match's phone number are hidden from one another. ... ” – my5cents

Join the “free weekend coming up” discussion

“There are men who run away if they find out a woman is widowed rather than divorced? How messed up is that? Do women do this, too?” – mrflyer

Join the “widow or single?” discussion

“I think it takes some time to decide if I personally am attracted to a guy. So I take that time in the initial meeting to find out more about him and to see if we have somewhat of a connection. As ... ” – my5cents

Join the “Ladies, do you decide in the first 30 seconds if you're interetsed? And, what are you looking for in a first impression?” discussion

“You know you can block certain things from people on facebook. Not just everything to everyone, but individual things to individual people too. Take a cruise around your settings and see what you ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion

“I would give up monogamy.” – mrflyer

Join the “Dacrifice” discussion

“Waitresses do this kind of thing all the time, just on a smaller scale. I'm just stunned that someone wouldn't see through this when the person stands to make a large commission if the sale goes ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “I fell in love with my car salesman,someone help me” discussion

“Email, call..smoke signals...etc same difference. She contacted you....(even when you did not contact her). Most people are not that friendly when it comes to activity group. Once you're gone, you're ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Met this girl at an activity group and confused once again.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:52 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0