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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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So, here we have a Lady's point of view:


trixie1868 wrote :
He'd made the initial contact and commented that in the flesh I looked like my pictures. So I figured he must be attracted to me or why bother? Afterwards he wrote to me and said he thoroughly enjoyed my company but felt that there was "no spark". I was left confused by it till I came up with this ~ I think chemistry is vital but not always instant.

I'm prepared to hang around a little see if it develops (I'm a grown up) but some people aren't. I think holding out for love at first sight is ambitious when you're young and a sign of arrested development when you're middle aged.

Now, I think it can be worth going forward when pictures are ambiguous, to see the person in person. Since, after all, only in-person meetings can form a basis for attraction.

Of course, attraction is not at all akin to "love at first sight."
- November 1st, 2009, 12:22 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is online now
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I get tired of this...I see it a lot on the boards...

I know it takes me time to feel attracted to a guy...I also know it takes a few seconds for a man to be attracted to me (it remains to be seen if the attraction withstands the getting to know you part).

What gets me about this place - women call men shallow because they don't give them a chance and men really do believe that women feel attraction the same way they do.

(And I am sure it irritates people to no end that I generalize about this - but heck. it is right so just accept it and move on!)
- November 1st, 2009, 12:40 pm
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littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
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I think there's no such thing as love at first sight. There's lust at first sight. There's attraction at first sight. There's chemistry at first sight.

Love, for me at least, involves knowledge and you cannot know someone instantaneously. It involves respect and you cannot know that someone is worthy of respect or willing/able to respect you at first sight. It involves responsibility, which is an attribute that can only be ascertained over time.

Anyone who's middle-aged and holding out for love at first sight is not only suffering from arrested development, they are clearly demonstrating beliefs and values so different from mine that I suspect it would make us instantly incompatible.
- November 1st, 2009, 12:41 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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LizziePooh wrote :
I know it takes me time to feel attracted to a guy...

A different question ...

You feel attraction in a longer time after meeting, or before meeting?
- November 1st, 2009, 12:42 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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Trixie's post that's quoted in the original post mentions 'spark', 'chemistry' and also 'love at first sight'. I think the first two are different than 'love at first sight'. Expecting to 'love' someone at first sight seems pretty extreme....wanting to feel a spark or chemistry not so much. These latter to me amount to feeling a certain amount of spontaneous attraction to a person, which I definitely want.
Last edited by jayjay; November 1st, 2009 at 12:53 pm.
- November 1st, 2009, 12:50 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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You can't call me a "lady" and then misinterpret me Frog!

I said I don't really entertain 'love at first sight', it was tongue in cheek, you know that.

Carry on with the thread by all means, if you're going to be analytical with my more blase comments then I may not join in.


~ Thank you Jayjay.

Bad Frog, Naughty Frog.
Last edited by trixie1868; November 1st, 2009 at 12:53 pm. Reason: D_Lion is being unsagelike
- November 1st, 2009, 12:52 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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trixie1868 wrote :
Bad Frog, Naughty Frog.

Who?
- November 1st, 2009, 12:56 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is online now
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D_Lion wrote :
A different question ...

You feel attraction in a longer time after meeting, or before meeting?
I am going to think about my answer...
- November 1st, 2009, 01:07 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
I am going to think about my answer...
You're funny....I've noticed before when you find a topic that seems to interest you that you let us know you're thinking about it and will get back with it. How cute is that.
- November 1st, 2009, 01:13 pm
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meri75 meri75 is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
So, here we have a Lady's point of view:

Now, I think it can be worth going forward when pictures are ambiguous, to see the person in person. Since, after all, only in-person meetings can form a basis for attraction.

Of course, attraction is not at all akin to "love at first sight."
So. You're saying that you've never been attracted to a woman without meeting her? I mean, you felt zero attraction to her prior to the meeting?

As to the other stuff: no, I do not believe in love at first sight. Lust, yes.

Trixie also has a point and so too does Lizzie Pooh. We get it men can be more visual with attraction ... why do men seem to not get it that we women can be more cerebral when it comes to finding a man attractive? (I'm with LP sentiments on this topic!)

Your brain (the men I mean) is highly attractive - if I am not attracted to your brain, then I am not attracted to you.
- November 1st, 2009, 01:34 pm
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