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melman melman is offline
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Some people might like that. You just never know.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:50 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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melman wrote :
Some people might like that. You just never know.
weird people, maybe.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:52 pm
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EMTZ EMTZ is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
or if they smell like tacos with extra onions.
Unfortunately some people have really strong body odor. I really do feel sorry for them but I am very sensitive to smell so body odor almost always makes me nauseated.
- November 1st, 2009, 07:56 pm
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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
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beautifulgenius I wish that week could have lasted forever :)

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Sometimes I think that meeting the "old fashioned way" would be better. But then again, I would never have found someone that way. The old way, at least you know where you stood when you met face to face for the first time, unlike this, where you get matched up with someone, have great conversations with them on the phone, never dreaming you are going to get into head -on collision with them in reality. It's terrorifying and just one of the reasons why I just stopped dating for a while, before getting back on the horse, a little dazed but ready to go again. And a little wiser.

My advice, would be to keep on trying, as hard as it seems sometimes to do, and try to put up a bit of a shield, so that in case it might happen again or 20 + times, you will be ready for it. That's the only way anyone can handle it. It's rough, but worth it, when you find the right person who is out there for you. It sounds mushy, unbelievable at times ( been there and done that) but it does happen.
- November 1st, 2009, 10:05 pm
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Shelby Shelby is online now
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Shelby Remember it's all good.

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trixie1868 wrote :

I'm prepared to hang around a little see if it develops (I'm a grown up) but some people aren't. I think holding out for love at first sight is ambitious when you're young and a sign of arrested development when you're middle aged. So if someone says there's no spark / attraction after one date then I know they wouldn't make me happy in the long run.
I love this, Trixie! With experience, people should learn to appreciate the complex nuances of people, and not just select for surface attributes.
- November 1st, 2009, 11:15 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is online now
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Shelby wrote :
I love this, Trixie! With experience, people should learn to appreciate the complex nuances of people, and not just select for surface attributes.

Thanks Shelby.

I know it's not compulsory to find me attractive (I would like something to be done about this obviously) but it was confusing to be on a date where he 'picked' me, we laughed all night and he tx to say that he could easily imagine spending a lot of time with me talking about nonsense and thoroughly enjoying it. Then adding "but there was no spark"

If I'm honest I wasn't exactly physically restraining myself from jumping his bones there and then but he was nice enough looking and a good enough personality match for me to wonder whether he could've grown on me.

I would've run to a second or third date to find out. He wouldn't.

In retrospect I think he had unrealistic expectations of what could happen on a first date ................... and he had terrible music taste.

So in the end it's as it should be.
- November 2nd, 2009, 07:31 am
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nightling nightling is online now
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nightling is drinking coffee, reading science articles, and enjoying the sunshine.

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EMTZ wrote :
Whereas I can't even kiss a guy unless I feel enough chemistry
Well I didn't mention it, but the same article mentioned smell as well as kissing, EMTZ, so you are not at all unusual.
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:21 am
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nightling nightling is online now
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I got the title of the journaling book wrong. It is The Creative Journal: The Art of Finding Yourself by Lucia Capacchione.
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:26 am
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clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
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clearlyoblique wears the skirt in the relationship

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D_Lion wrote :
Pardon me?

Attraction is a visual assessment.
Yeah yeah yeah. We all get this about men. We really do. Much has been written about men and magazines, calendars and pictures. We women chuckle at the MH of attractiveness. And if we didn't understand the concept before ... by the 100th post on weight and women, we would get this visual concept. Your pardon is granted. Your generalization is questioned.

It is a visual assessment for men. However, there is a reason many consider romance novels "woman pron". The written word is very powerful for women. You often site history to support your points: well, men wrote letters and poetry to woo women ... even when they could talk to them. In a way, online communication can mimic this interchange. I think this is why online dating can feel so heart breakingly brutal.

Initially. We learn.

OP: The thing to remember is: no one is real until you have met them. You must decide when your heart is on the line with the volley. I like before but absolutely when you start to feel la la la, for the love of all that is cupid, meet the bloke.

Captain Crunch has many good posts on the subject. I like to think of him as the "good realistic man" perspective.

This is brought to you by...

... a woman who was set up on a blind date.
She wore her pencil skirt and her 3" heeled black boots (um, 'bout 5'11" at this point). Had a good hair day. Strode into the restaurant and shook hands with a Robert Redford look-alike. Nice man. Polite man. As he walked her back to the car, he said "I sense no chemistry here." She nodded but didn't know what to say (not really common for her, my friend, but then, she had never been a Robert Redford fan ... and had never dated a little person).
Last edited by clearlyoblique; November 2nd, 2009 at 08:42 am. Reason: oh a little word
- November 2nd, 2009, 08:36 am
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Sassafras54 Sassafras54 is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
or if they smell like tacos with extra onions.


There's a smell that some men have, that my dad had, that is absolutely repulsive to me. I think it might be from heavy drinking but am not sure. It's not an alcohol smell, and I've never smelled it on a woman. It's not BO. It's kind of acrid.

Well so men are highly visual. Do they all respond the same to the same visual cues? or is it that they're all visually focused but will respond to different visuals?
- November 2nd, 2009, 09:14 am
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