suzanne2003 is offline suzanne2003 Post #1  October 29,2009, 2:47pm
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I am just getting back into the dating scene seriously since my divorce. It's been a year and during this year, I have dated a few people a couple of times, but there was no one that I really liked. During the past year, my friend has kept trying to set me up with a friend of her husbands and I always resisted. This past Friday I finally relented and we went out with a group of people (so that it would not feel like a set up I guess). We had a good time and there was even some kissing and heavy flirting, probably because we were both a little drunk and therefore a little less inhabited. He called me on Saturday and asked me to a football game on Sunday. I accepted and we had a good time. I sent him a text message on Wednesday to thank him for the game and we ended up texting for a while. I was a little put off that he hadn't called, but my friends said that I should have texted a thank you on Monday and I did not so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He lives about an hour from me and I suggested that maybe next week we could get together for dinner since I had a seminar about half way between the two of us. He said that that sounded good. Now...do I call him next week to cement plans or do I wait for him to call me. My usual response to this if a girlfriend asked me my opinion would be "he has your number...if he wants to see you then he will call you" but I like this guy and don't know if maybe I am being too rigid, but I also don't want to come off as desperate or clingy. Help!!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  October 29,2009, 3:23pm
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Do not get pointlessly hung up on grandmother's idea of "who should call."

If you want to speak to someone, call them. That said, I would only make about two unreturned communications before giving up on someone.

A specific situation like this is also impacted by how the most recent communication ended: if it ended with him saying his availibility was uncertain, that increases the burden on him to call (as his availibility becomes clear.)
 
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suzanne2003 is offline suzanne2003 Post #3  October 29,2009, 5:19pm
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Basically I suggested dinner next week and he agreed. No night was specified. I will be up his way on Thursday so I guess that was the day that I was thinking, but didn't say that specifically. Now I just don't know what my next step should be. Do I text him Monday telling him about Thursday or do I wait for him to call and then suggest Thursday?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #4  October 29,2009, 5:28pm
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What about sending a text something like this. Hey, I'm trying to plan my week, but I don't know what night we were going to do dinner. Did you still want to do that?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  October 29,2009, 5:31pm
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I think this is definitely your time to call - you know the day.
 
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suzanne2003 is offline suzanne2003 Post #6  October 29,2009, 5:35pm
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I forgot how hard this is to do with someone that you actually like. I guess that it doesn't help that he is friends with some very good friends of mine and could be potentially really awkward if I am more into him than he is into me. Should I call or text?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  October 29,2009, 5:44pm
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I don't text at all.

As I see it, you two discussed for next week ... somtime.

You know the time: you have the essential data to convey. I think there is no need to worry; call and say Thursday.

Have ready a suggestion for a place to meet.

And relax! We do this stuff for fun!
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #8  October 29,2009, 5:52pm
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suzanne2003 wrote :
I forgot how hard this is to do with someone that you actually like. I guess that it doesn't help that he is friends with some very good friends of mine and could be potentially really awkward if I am more into him than he is into me. Should I call or text?
I duno where my post went. I said I would text, but that's just me.
 
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ltc89 is offline ltc89 Post #9  October 29,2009, 6:02pm
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suzanne2003 wrote :
. . . he is friends with some very good friends of mine and could be potentially really awkward if I am more into him than he is into me.
This is where it could get really awkward - if he ends up not being interested, you might feel kind of foolish about it, and you still need to feel comfortable interacting with your friends in the future, and maybe even him.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #10  October 29,2009, 6:21pm
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Why do we feel foolish for liking someone?
 
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