How do i talk to women ?


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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #11  November 2,2009, 6:15am

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kneo24 wrote :
I've always found that women love talking about themselves. Ask simple questions about their job or their life.

  • Is this a career you like?
  • What do you most like about your job?
  • What do you most hate?
  • Oh, I heard you said it was stressful, why is it so stressful?
  • What made you decide to move to where you live?
  • Do you like it there?
  • Where would you rather live?
You're on a date, not a job interview! I agree that women love to talk about themselves.
1. Every date (match) she has been on has asked these questions too
She is probably tired of answering them. Expect a canned
response.
2. Don't just ask to ask! She'll know which questions are sincere. If your question has her doing all the talking and all you're doing is nodding your head with the occasional.. uh huh! did you really learn anything other than she likes to talk?

Select questions that you both can chime in and out of. Common interest (ie: hiking sports,gym) current events, favorite or future destinations, holidays.

wrote :
Just pay attention to what she says.
Extra attention, most women will dole out brownie points for remembering something she said in passing.
wrote :
The most important thing is that it has to feel natural and smooth. .
Exactly!! it is important that it feels natural.. So avoid the job interview questions like the ones above.
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; November 2,2009 at 6:17am.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #12  November 2,2009, 1:22pm
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Leafsg wrote :
Yes, but how do i get her to talk? What do i say? Plus i am also worried about saying the wrong things.
Try asking her how her week went instead of telling her all about yours.
 
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Chucho is offline Chucho Post #13  November 2,2009, 1:36pm
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BrickWallsBreak wrote :
Read the book 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus'. Several years old, but still applicable. It really will help in communication and understanding the way women think and hear what you say -- sometimes totally different than the way you intended it.

It's really a pardigm shift in thinking, feeling and communicating with the opposite sex.

Good luck.
In short, that men are rational animals whereas girls are emotional (the book title says it all...)

TBH the best thing is not to script. Be yourself. If you try to mock-up your personality it will show from miles ahead (women sense BS in a second, believe me) and that would be worse than not hitting home because of your talk (because, inevitably, you will please some and not others... that's life). Just relax, BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF, and things will flow naturally. And, of course, LISTEN, gauge when and how to shift focus FROM YOU into HER. You want to show you're interested, but not needy. You want to please with your assertiveness and confidence, not by behaving as a doormat.

But, again, don't play scripts because that's not gonna work. Shifting your habits, speech and posture and making them tune-in with who you REALLY are requires time, practice and I'm afraid to say some failures, but take them as the inevitable road in a learning process.

Good luck.
Last edited by Chucho; November 2,2009 at 1:39pm.
 
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kneo24 is offline kneo24 Post #14  November 2,2009, 1:45pm
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CaptCrunch23 wrote :
You're on a date, not a job interview! I agree that women love to talk about themselves.
1. Every date (match) she has been on has asked these questions too
She is probably tired of answering them. Expect a canned
response.
2. Don't just ask to ask! She'll know which questions are sincere. If your question has her doing all the talking and all you're doing is nodding your head with the occasional.. uh huh! did you really learn anything other than she likes to talk?

Select questions that you both can chime in and out of. Common interest (ie: hiking sports,gym) current events, favorite or future destinations, holidays.


Extra attention, most women will dole out brownie points for remembering something she said in passing.

Exactly!! it is important that it feels natural.. So avoid the job interview questions like the ones above.
I think you missed the spirit of what I was trying to get at even though you quoted it at the end. While my list is surely of canned questions, they do get asked and answered at some point by both parties. Do you think men like straight up canned questions?

The whole point is to make it seamless and smooth. They don't have to be asked that specific way, and are sometimes good questions to ask if there's an uncomfortable silence. Tossing these questions in the middle of a good conversation (if they're on topic) isn't really a bad idea either.

The whole point is to get them to talk in the first place. At that rate, most typical questions are canned. Do you ask deep, probing, questions on the first date? Because honestly that's a great way to make someone feel uncomfortable. Stick with what works, even if it is a little cliche. It's always about presentation in the end anyway.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #15  November 2,2009, 2:38pm
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O bon Dieu! Les langues hommes sont pleines de tromper es
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #16  November 2,2009, 8:30pm
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Fleuellen wrote :
O bon Dieu! Les langues hommes sont pleines de tromper es
The language of man is plainly deceiving?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #17  November 2,2009, 8:31pm
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kneo24 wrote :
I think you missed the spirit of what I was trying to get at even though you quoted it at the end. While my list is surely of canned questions, they do get asked and answered at some point by both parties. Do you think men like straight up canned questions?

The whole point is to make it seamless and smooth. They don't have to be asked that specific way, and are sometimes good questions to ask if there's an uncomfortable silence. Tossing these questions in the middle of a good conversation (if they're on topic) isn't really a bad idea either.

The whole point is to get them to talk in the first place. At that rate, most typical questions are canned. Do you ask deep, probing, questions on the first date? Because honestly that's a great way to make someone feel uncomfortable. Stick with what works, even if it is a little cliche. It's always about presentation in the end anyway.

Asking what they do is one thing ... but that whole list you gave was a trifle interviewish. I dunno about deep ... but interesting is always nice.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #18  November 3,2009, 12:40pm
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Don't send monologues, ask questions, but not a thousand and one in a single breath. There's nothing as interesting (to me anyway) as someone who's taking an interest rather than making a speech.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #19  November 3,2009, 12:42pm
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Fleuellen wrote :
O bon Dieu! Les langues hommes sont pleines de tromper es
Murky bucket, silver plate.


Sorry, couldn't resist.
 
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kneo24 is offline kneo24 Post #20  November 3,2009, 2:15pm
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nightling wrote :
Asking what they do is one thing ... but that whole list you gave was a trifle interviewish. I dunno about deep ... but interesting is always nice.
Well of course it looks interviewish. Any set of questions when bulletted will look that way. Like I've said, the point is not to ask them in that manner. These questions will come up, and naturally if you are lost on what to ask, it's not necessarily a bad way to get the ball rolling by asking one of them.
 
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