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Lula11 Lula11 is offline
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Now this is something I feel has endless explaniations.
But if somone is truely interested in another person, does having sex "too soon" ruin the chances of the relationship progressing into something more? It shouldnt matter right, or does it??

Ive heard many stories where if you sleep with a guy too fast, you pretty much have ruined your chances in anything more with them, but then again with some, it didnt make a difference.

From past experiences, I really cant say wether or not this is true. I guess it would depend on the person. Ive had where Ive taken things slow, they ended it because they thought I didnt like them alot becuase I hadn't slept with them, then theres been where I do early on in the "relationship" then later they still end it, becuase they dont want a relationship after all, even though at first they tell you they do. Then theres ones where it doesnt matter at all, you sleep with them and regardless still want something more from you...

So it all comes down to, does "waiting" really make a difference?
- October 27th, 2009, 03:39 pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo Can_I_just_be_Jo is online now
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You know I did a cow v milk thread last week. People have a mess of opinions on this subject. I see no difference in my past relationships one way or another.
- October 27th, 2009, 03:44 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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I do not dismiss a woman for having sex soon - but I also do not keep someone for sex if there are other incompatibilities.

I do find that sex hastens the transition from "dating" into a relationship (I do not have concurrent parters.)
- October 27th, 2009, 03:55 pm
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Mokkesofie Mokkesofie is online now
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Nope
- October 27th, 2009, 03:57 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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I think too much intimacy too fast can put more pressure on the relationship than it's ready for, but it doesn't have to mean a relationship is doomed either.
- October 27th, 2009, 04:14 pm
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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With intimacy generally comes quick emotional attachment for at least one person and an expectation of an exclusive relationship for at least one person, but not necessarily the other. The ultimate problem is that it becomes a relationship on crack - moving too fast and disjointed. One person starts to act like they are in a relationship and demand relationship behavior from the other, while the other is not there, not ready, not sure. So a lot of the times it all ends up blowing up in everyone's face. However in some cases both people happen to be mutually moving at the same pace and do not get cold feet so it works out. Thus you have differing opinions on the subject and differing experiences with that. There really isn't a black and white answer.
- October 27th, 2009, 05:14 pm
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Gumbee Gumbee is offline
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I think it's a mistake to become physically intimate with someone too soon because it creates a faux sense of emotional intimacy and "knowing" of the other person. If you're in this for the long haul, then slow down, relax and enjoy the getting to know each other stage. Step back, look critically at the relationship and the person you're with and decide if this is someone you can envision spending the next x years of your life with. If you decide he or she is "The One" when the physical stuff does happen, it will be that much more special. IMHO.

If a long term relationship is not what you're looking for, then disregard my previous statement
- October 27th, 2009, 05:43 pm
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Nanette Nanette is offline
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Lula11 wrote :
Now this is something I feel has endless explaniations.
But if somone is truely interested in another person, does having sex "too soon" ruin the chances of the relationship progressing into something more? It shouldnt matter right, or does it??

Ive heard many stories where if you sleep with a guy too fast, you pretty much have ruined your chances in anything more with them, but then again with some, it didnt make a difference.

From past experiences, I really cant say wether or not this is true. I guess it would depend on the person. Ive had where Ive taken things slow, they ended it because they thought I didnt like them alot becuase I hadn't slept with them, then theres been where I do early on in the "relationship" then later they still end it, becuase they dont want a relationship after all, even though at first they tell you they do. Then theres ones where it doesnt matter at all, you sleep with them and regardless still want something more from you...

So it all comes down to, does "waiting" really make a difference?
LOTS of things shouldn't matter but the reality is that they do. I think that you are not necessarily ruining the chances for a relationship as a woman but regardless of all of the protests it will alter that persons perception of you AND you may just be having sex with someone that has no interest in a long term relationship with you (if that is what you are looking for).

Here (Some honesty about sex please!) is a thread where it is discussed at length. I offer my arguments and opinions there.
- October 27th, 2009, 05:49 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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Gumbee wrote :
If you're in this for the long haul, then slow down, relax and enjoy the getting to know each other stage.
I think the difficulty is....the other stage is even more enjoyable.
- October 27th, 2009, 06:07 pm
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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Mokkesofie wrote :
Nope
Ditto!...
- October 27th, 2009, 06:17 pm
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