Does having sex soon with someone ruin the changes of a potential relationship?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Lula11 is offline Lula11 Post #1  October 27,2009, 2:39pm
Lula11's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 6

See profile

Now this is something I feel has endless explaniations.
But if somone is truely interested in another person, does having sex "too soon" ruin the chances of the relationship progressing into something more? It shouldnt matter right, or does it??

Ive heard many stories where if you sleep with a guy too fast, you pretty much have ruined your chances in anything more with them, but then again with some, it didnt make a difference.

From past experiences, I really cant say wether or not this is true. I guess it would depend on the person. Ive had where Ive taken things slow, they ended it because they thought I didnt like them alot becuase I hadn't slept with them, then theres been where I do early on in the "relationship" then later they still end it, becuase they dont want a relationship after all, even though at first they tell you they do. Then theres ones where it doesnt matter at all, you sleep with them and regardless still want something more from you...

So it all comes down to, does "waiting" really make a difference?
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #2  October 27,2009, 2:44pm

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

You know I did a cow v milk thread last week. People have a mess of opinions on this subject. I see no difference in my past relationships one way or another.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  October 27,2009, 2:55pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,727

See profile

I do not dismiss a woman for having sex soon - but I also do not keep someone for sex if there are other incompatibilities.

I do find that sex hastens the transition from "dating" into a relationship (I do not have concurrent parters.)
 
  Reply With Quote
Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #4  October 27,2009, 2:57pm
Mokkesofie's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 8,463

See profile

Nope
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #5  October 27,2009, 3:14pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

I think too much intimacy too fast can put more pressure on the relationship than it's ready for, but it doesn't have to mean a relationship is doomed either.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  October 27,2009, 4:14pm
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,209

See profile

With intimacy generally comes quick emotional attachment for at least one person and an expectation of an exclusive relationship for at least one person, but not necessarily the other. The ultimate problem is that it becomes a relationship on crack - moving too fast and disjointed. One person starts to act like they are in a relationship and demand relationship behavior from the other, while the other is not there, not ready, not sure. So a lot of the times it all ends up blowing up in everyone's face. However in some cases both people happen to be mutually moving at the same pace and do not get cold feet so it works out. Thus you have differing opinions on the subject and differing experiences with that. There really isn't a black and white answer.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gumbee is offline Gumbee Post #7  October 27,2009, 4:43pm
Gumbee's Avatar

No nit too small to pick

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Earth

Posts: 172

See profile

I think it's a mistake to become physically intimate with someone too soon because it creates a faux sense of emotional intimacy and "knowing" of the other person. If you're in this for the long haul, then slow down, relax and enjoy the getting to know each other stage. Step back, look critically at the relationship and the person you're with and decide if this is someone you can envision spending the next x years of your life with. If you decide he or she is "The One" when the physical stuff does happen, it will be that much more special. IMHO.

If a long term relationship is not what you're looking for, then disregard my previous statement
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  October 27,2009, 4:49pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,438

See profile

Lula11 wrote :
Now this is something I feel has endless explaniations.
But if somone is truely interested in another person, does having sex "too soon" ruin the chances of the relationship progressing into something more? It shouldnt matter right, or does it??

Ive heard many stories where if you sleep with a guy too fast, you pretty much have ruined your chances in anything more with them, but then again with some, it didnt make a difference.

From past experiences, I really cant say wether or not this is true. I guess it would depend on the person. Ive had where Ive taken things slow, they ended it because they thought I didnt like them alot becuase I hadn't slept with them, then theres been where I do early on in the "relationship" then later they still end it, becuase they dont want a relationship after all, even though at first they tell you they do. Then theres ones where it doesnt matter at all, you sleep with them and regardless still want something more from you...

So it all comes down to, does "waiting" really make a difference?
LOTS of things shouldn't matter but the reality is that they do. I think that you are not necessarily ruining the chances for a relationship as a woman but regardless of all of the protests it will alter that persons perception of you AND you may just be having sex with someone that has no interest in a long term relationship with you (if that is what you are looking for).

Here (Some honesty about sex please!) is a thread where it is discussed at length. I offer my arguments and opinions there.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  October 27,2009, 5:07pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

Gumbee wrote :
If you're in this for the long haul, then slow down, relax and enjoy the getting to know each other stage.
I think the difficulty is....the other stage is even more enjoyable.
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #10  October 27,2009, 5:17pm
legend29's Avatar

men are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you'll get!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,600

See profile

Mokkesofie wrote :
Nope
Ditto!...
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Novelty date idea no 237 | Dating | How long do you wait between dates? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How to get out of a relationship texx77 Ask a Dating Expert 51 January 27,2011 5:21am
Jealousy: Why it Can Ruin Your Relationship QAKittyCat DATING & RELATIONSHIPS 9 November 20,2010 6:29pm
6.5yr Relationship..lies..what to do? GabbieChanel Relationships 13 July 3,2010 12:58pm
She just wants us to be "dating" and not a relationship. secretagent4777 Relationships 21 October 29,2009 3:15pm
Dont get why some people join e harm if they arent looking for a relationship? Lula11 Using eHarmony 7 October 27,2009 5:58am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:17am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0