Incredible Dialogue, then NOTHING? What gives?


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Axelknows is offline Axelknows Post #1  October 27,2009, 2:30pm
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Ok, so there was this remarkable dialogue with a gentleman that I was really enjoying, we chatted in the open communication, then moved to personal e-mails, and upped the ante to remarkable texting and "getting to know you better" three questions. It was fun, open and remarkably transparent... After my last I'll admit it, slightly flirty text to him ( mind you, his language was even flirtier than mine) I hinted at connecting for coffee... Then nothing, no texts, no e-mails no "you stink and are weird" communication... I would have appreciated feedback at least like: I met someone who I am really considering being serious with, OR I felt a little freaked out about meeting you, OR, after a little thought, I'm just not on the same page as you... ANYTHING... I did consider that maybe he just broke his stupid phone which he e-mailed from, but it's been a few days... Considering we were texting about every 5 minutes, and then cold turkey nothing, I feel a little hurt and let down... It's not like we were commited or anything, but I enjoyed our dialogue at least from a friendly and like minded context. I found myself oddly missing him... I sent one last message that either his phone broke, or I stepped on his toes, if I did, please forgive me and I wish you well.. Zoiks, how embarrasing and hurtful... I'm none too sure about this online dating thing as a result, that was kind of a bitter pill to swallow. I did promise myself that I wouldn't send any more messages, if his phone isn't broken, then he's not being very mature and I can do better. Either way, better communication I suspect could have eased some of this for me... Anyone else experience this?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  October 27,2009, 2:57pm
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How long as it been?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  October 27,2009, 5:03pm
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Axelknows wrote :
Ok, so there was this remarkable dialogue with a gentleman that I was really enjoying, we chatted in the open communication, then moved to personal e-mails, and upped the ante to remarkable texting and "getting to know you better" three questions. It was fun, open and remarkably transparent... After my last I'll admit it, slightly flirty text to him ( mind you, his language was even flirtier than mine) I hinted at connecting for coffee... Then nothing, no texts, no e-mails no "you stink and are weird" communication... I would have appreciated feedback at least like: I met someone who I am really considering being serious with, OR I felt a little freaked out about meeting you, OR, after a little thought, I'm just not on the same page as you... ANYTHING... I did consider that maybe he just broke his stupid phone which he e-mailed from, but it's been a few days... Considering we were texting about every 5 minutes, and then cold turkey nothing, I feel a little hurt and let down... It's not like we were commited or anything, but I enjoyed our dialogue at least from a friendly and like minded context. I found myself oddly missing him... I sent one last message that either his phone broke, or I stepped on his toes, if I did, please forgive me and I wish you well.. Zoiks, how embarrasing and hurtful... I'm none too sure about this online dating thing as a result, that was kind of a bitter pill to swallow. I did promise myself that I wouldn't send any more messages, if his phone isn't broken, then he's not being very mature and I can do better. Either way, better communication I suspect could have eased some of this for me... Anyone else experience this?
I cant even count the number of experiences like this that I have read on these boards.

My best advice is dont initiate with guys and take it to a first meeting as quickly as possible. That way you aren't investing all of this time in what might be a fantasy relationship to him because he is married or otherwise attached OR he misrepresented his appearance.

Please dont message this guy again and if he texts you ignore it. He has your number? He can call.
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #4  October 27,2009, 5:19pm
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Too much texting and "incredible dialogue"....

Next time set up the first meet within the first two weeks....

Ahhhhh..but that is what works for me
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  October 27,2009, 5:41pm
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You had a pen pal. And he found a better pen.

Meet safely, in person, as soon as possible. Don't waste time emailing and texting and OC_message-ing.

I hope this is what Nanette was also saying but she slipped in an extra "don't".
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 Post #6  October 27,2009, 6:21pm
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Don't take it personally. This is fairly typical. Many are living a fantasy life and have misrepresented so how can they meet? Theyre either involved, not who they said they were, or simply emotionally unavailable. I once communicated with a man who freely admitted that his therapist suggested he try to communicate with women via e mail as he was working on intimacy issues. Unfortunately not everyone has the same agenda or reasons for being on an Internet dating site - sad but true. Those more seasoned have heard it all.
 
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Sawyer76 is offline Sawyer76 Post #7  October 27,2009, 6:49pm
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What do you mean by "getting to know you better" three texts? I'm curious where you live because I was recently talking to a guy who sent me text messages asking me questions like..."in an effort to get to know you better..." This continued on for awhile and then he poofed. I later found out that he had a profile online because it made him feel better when girls were interested in him but he was emotionally unavailable.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #8  October 28,2009, 6:07am
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I think there are some out there (quite a lot actually) who get so wrapped up in the endless communication; going from one match to the next, one email or text to the next. One first meet to the next, without any true intention of carrying it further than that. Of course, some don’t realize this is what they are doing, and others know exactly what they’re doing. None will give a head’s up to anyone else that this is what their intention is however. Some are married, some are commitment-phobes, some are the whiners that “all the good ones are taken”. Whatever the story, usually all comes out the same in the end – they poof. (one indication I've found is that once they have my number, they txt me rather than call me. what is that about?? Or the double txt, or the txt obviously NOT meant for me. All usually good indicators)

I think they’ve become so accustomed to there just being a seemingly endless supply of matches on the various online dating sites that it’s “easy” for them to get into these “conversations” via email and text and then vanish once they’ve established a new, different and more exciting conversation. Boringggg. And a waste of time. Unless that's what you're (generally speaking) is looking for as well.

It has nothing to do with you. If this guy is one of those, then you never really had a chance from the get go. I wouldn’t message him again.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #9  October 28,2009, 6:23am
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Axelknows wrote :
Ok, so there was this remarkable dialogue with a gentleman that I was really enjoying, we chatted in the open communication, then moved to personal e-mails, and upped the ante to remarkable texting and "getting to know you better" three questions.
Texting is retarded. How do you consider that as 'upped the ante'?

You had a pen pal. Pen pals are for people in prison. Maybe he's not up for parole just yet and you'll have to wait awhile longer.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  October 28,2009, 8:20am
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You know I see red flags in the OP that the guy is married. Suggesting actually meeting made him think he best get out while he can.
 
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