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jayjay jayjay is online now
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jayjay ...is going out tonight with a Columbiana and an Equadoriana.

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MelinCali wrote :
David Hasselhoff might make your heart race, but not mine!
Liar. Don't make me post the Hasselhoff photo on my profile again.
- October 26th, 2009, 10:41 pm
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Annnnne Annnnne is offline
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You guys crack me up.
- October 26th, 2009, 10:51 pm
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I have encountered quite a few women like the OP via online dating where we hit it off great on the first few dates and had fun, but there just wasn't any mutual chemistry. It always seems if I am attracted to her she isn't to me and vice-versa.

I post an up to date honest picture and am up front and honest about my obesity, etc. in my profile. And even after we talk and email, she just isn't into me or I am not into her on the first meeting.

I almost always have no trouble having fun on first meetings and keeping my date around, as I have a very warm and energetic personality, but it seems a few days after the meeting, I get the dreaded "There was no chemistry, good luck" email, or else she gets "flakey".

This only happens via online dating, so there is some type of psychology or game that is unique to online dating that I am still trying to figure out. Even when I am honest with my picture and baggage in my profile, I am still getting rejected a lot. And it seems like people here on eHA are having the same types of online rejection troubles, and many of them are a lot better looking than me and have their act more together than me.

It just seems no matter what the "rejection factor" is very high with online dating.
- October 26th, 2009, 10:51 pm
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Sucia1969 Sucia1969 is offline
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Sucia1969 will it ever get any easier??

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jayjay wrote :
Ok....Billy Bob Thornton then.
better than the hoff'
- October 26th, 2009, 10:58 pm
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melman melman is offline
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bwr wrote :
It just seems no matter what the "rejection factor" is very high with online dating.
Of course it is. You can flip from page to page like a catalog. When she's on a date with you, she's thinking about the doctor who hasn't replied to her 2nd Questions yet. And that motorcycle dude who sent her 1st Questions but she can't decide whether to reply.

Chemistry or no chemistry with you, there's always a computer full of guys back home who might be "better" than you in some way.

And of course it works both ways. It's not like real life at all. But that's how it is.
Last edited by melman; October 26th, 2009 at 11:03 pm.
- October 26th, 2009, 10:59 pm
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Annnnne Annnnne is offline
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melman wrote :
Of course it is. You can flip from page to page like a catalog. When she's on a date with you, she's thinking about the doctor who hasn't replied to her 2nd Questions yet. And that motorcycle dude who sent her 1st Questions but she can't decide whether to reply.

Chemistry or no chemistry with you, there's always a computer full of guys back home who might be "better" than you in some way.

And of course it works both ways. It's not like real life at all. But that's how it is.
But isnt it? It seems like so many people these days are online--especially the solid professional types who just are not into the bar seen. So far I have been very impressed with the quality of men on eH. Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of duds, but I joined the site with low expectations and so far have been very impressed.
- October 26th, 2009, 11:13 pm
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melman wrote :
Of course it is. You can flip from page to page like a catalog. When she's on a date with you, she's thinking about the doctor who hasn't replied to her 2nd Questions yet. And that motorcycle dude who sent her 1st Questions but she can't decide whether to reply.

Chemistry or no chemistry with you, there's always a computer full of guys back home who might be "better" than you in some way.

And of course it works both ways. It's not like real life at all. But that's how it is.
+1. great response. I agree.
- October 26th, 2009, 11:26 pm
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Annnnne wrote :
But isnt it? It seems like so many people these days are online--especially the solid professional types who just are not into the bar seen. So far I have been very impressed with the quality of men on eH. Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of duds, but I joined the site with low expectations and so far have been very impressed.
When I first signed up for online dating, I didnt know what to expect, and my expectations were low. I met my share of desperate, "discounted goods" women like I was afraid I would meet, but I also surprisingly met quite a few successful, attractive women who were too busy with their career to hang out at bars, etc.

But I am sensing the quality of men are much higher via online dating as more men do online dating than women it seems. I have heard lots of women like yourself who say they get lots of high quality hits from men, but they cant find any chemistry with them.

I am one of those people who is just too busy with my career to go out and meet women and is not into the bar scene. Online seems a lot more accessable and easier.

But like I said, the rejection factor, especially for men, is going to be a lot higher with online dating, so the success rate will be very low, and it becomes more of a numbers and waiting game. And expectations have to be adjusted to be lot lower with online dating.

Also, I do get the feeling that you get a lot of successful, clean people in online dating, but because they are successful and dont get out much, thety will also be a lot less experienced with dating. And when you get two inexperienced, busy people together on a date, that can spell trouble and frustration.

I have a life-long friend who is very successful and experienced with dating and women, and he wouldn't come close to online dating as he meets plenty of women in RL. He is not that successful money or career wise, and is just average looking. He funked and dropped out of high school. But just knowing this guy and seeing how he operates around women and how successful he is, it makes me realize how inexperienced I am and how much I am struggling and need to learn meeting women. He is a very kind hearted person and not a player, but he has so much natural charm and is so good talking to women, its actually fun and inspiring to watch him in in person on how easy he makes dating look.
- October 26th, 2009, 11:46 pm
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bwr wrote :
But I am sensing the quality of men are much higher via online dating as more men do online dating than women it seems. I have heard lots of women like yourself who say they get lots of high quality hits from men, but they cant find any chemistry with them.
The quality of matches really depends on the e-dating site itself. eH is suppose to have the pool with the most serious e-daters looking for ltr/marriage.

wrote :
people who is just too busy with my career to go out and meet women and is not into the bar scene.Online seems a lot more accessable and easier
when e-dating first started this would be true for most that joined.Which is why everyone who is still into the bar scene is/has joined too.
wrote :
But like I said, the rejection factor, especially for men, is going to be a lot higher with online dating, so the success rate will be very low
There is no such thing as rejection in e-dating. If someone doesn't respond to your 1st questions or closes you. I wouldn't view that as rejection since we never met. Also success doesn't have to be finding an LTR or marriage. Success can also be getting more dates with potential from e-dating than you did in IRL.

wrote :
and it becomes more of a numbers and waiting game
Yes it is a waiting game and having patience while doing it is a good thing

wrote :
And expectations have to be adjusted to be lot lower with online dating.
The only expectation that I feel most people need to lower is.. that just because you post a picture and put up a profile e-dating is not that simple. It requires some work just as in irl.
wrote :
I have a life-long friend who is very successful and experienced with dating and women, He is not that successful money or career wise, and is just average looking. He funked and dropped out of high school. But just knowing this guy and seeing how he operates around women and how successful he is, it makes me realize how inexperienced I am and how much I am struggling and need to learn meeting women. He is a very kind hearted person and not a player, but he has so much natural charm and is so good talking to women, its actually fun and inspiring to watch him in in person on how easy he makes dating look.
Confidence is all that is. If he is that successful as you say. It should be easy to pick up some traits (not lines) from him, but make them your own. Gain your own confidence from it!
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; October 27th, 2009 at 06:11 am.
- October 27th, 2009, 12:25 am
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I had this happen recently. I went out on a spectacular first date with this woman, had an OK second date, and smashing 3rd and 4th ones. I really liked her a great deal and got the same vibe from her. Then we went out and it got a little awkward and we both wondered to each other why. Two more tries and we pretty much both said, "Well, I don't understand why I'm not crazy about you, but I'm not."

All the ingredients were there, we both thought the other was a wonderful, attractive, intelligent, appealing person, but we just weren't hitting on all 8 cylinders. I can't explain why because we were both trying and wanted it to work, but I knew it was right not to continue when I didn't feel any pain in my heart when we said our goodbyes.

I am a big believer in chemistry, but this made me realize that our initial chemistry flamed out eventually for some reason. Why, I can't say, but perhaps it also suggests that the opposite is possible...
- November 5th, 2009, 01:37 pm
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