Dreamsicles is offline Dreamsicles Post #1  October 25,2009, 6:39pm
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So I have been on 3 dates with this guy and although there have been hugs, some holding of hands, there still has been no kiss...not even a little peck. Also, the only time he does call me is to figure out plans for the next date...never to just chat or text me a message how my day went. I do have to say that I give off the girl next door vibe and so forth so maybe he just wants to take it slow? Now, he wouldn't have asked me out if he wasn't interested, right? So my question is if a guy is interested in you, what are some of the signs? I don't want to waste my time with someone who just likes to "hang out". My theory is that if you like someone, even if you are "busy" you still will have time to text the person (It takes only 5 seconds). In fact, you would want to know what that person is doing, and also would want to share your day with them. I refrain myself from calling or being the first to initiate...I know, I know...but I am just conservative in that way and won't pursue anything if the guy isn't interested.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  October 25,2009, 6:42pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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If he's asking you out then he's interested. People progress relationshi in different ways. If you like him....then continue seeing him. If not....
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  October 25,2009, 7:00pm
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Dreamsicles wrote :
So I have been on 3 dates with this guy and although there have been hugs, some holding of hands, there still has been no kiss...not even a little peck.

Personally, I am not very aggressive with physical contact (need to get better at this), but at three dates I have usually not kissed. He might be nervous or afraid to scare you off; I think you are best off taking a more direct posture and kissing him or asking for him to kiss you.

Dreamsicles wrote :
Also, the only time he does call me is to figure out plans for the next date...never to just chat or text me a message how my day went.

This is exactly what I do.

Dreamsicles wrote :
Now, he wouldn't have asked me out if he wasn't interested, right? So my question is if a guy is interested in you, what are some of the signs?

I signal my interest by seeing a woman again.

Dreamsicles wrote :
In fact, you would want to know what that person is doing, and also would want to share your day with them.

No, I don’t. I don’t care what a dating partner is doing (how totally boring); I care what her intentions are as regards me, which unfold in time and are only discussed in person.

Dreamsicles wrote :
I refrain myself from calling or being the first to initiate...I know, I know...but I am just conservative in that way and won't pursue anything if the guy isn't interested.

I refrain myself from pointless, excessive calling or being the only one to initiate...I know, I know...but I am just intelligent and sensible in that way and won't pursue anything if the Lady isn't interested. (See how silly your one-sided stuff sounds?)

I won’t pursue anything if the Lady isn’t interested. You should show interest in the manner and quantity you like to receive it. Unrequited interest in a woman = time to find a new woman.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #4  October 25,2009, 7:56pm
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Don't know enough details about him or you. Does he have any way of knowing what you expect of him? He probably is just taking it slow, but maybe he's not seeing any signals from you about how you feel. You may be sending signals, but that doesn't always mean he's reading them - some guys don't take hints.

If he's still going on dates with you, then he's still interested. Who initiated the hugs and hand-holding? If he's the one doing all the initiating for every step of the relationship, he may be wondering whether you're really interested or if you're just humoring him.

Why don't you call him and ask how his day went? I know where D_Lion is coming from on this, most of my days are boring. I sit at my desk and write code. When I tell people what I did today they start going cross-eyed by the end of the second sentence. And I assume if someone else had a more interesting day they'll want to talk about it so they'll initiate the conversation. I know, I know, I should ask just to show interest. Small talk doesn't come naturally to everybody. Some of us need a little jump-start.

He may not be big on talking to his dates about whay he ate for breakfast that morning and how many forms he filled out at work that day, and he may be shy about calling 'just to chat.' So take the initiative and call him (and have a good backup topic or two in case the 'how was your day' question bombs.)
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is online now Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  October 25,2009, 8:39pm
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There for a minute I thought you were dating me

As for him being interested, he is asking you out so he is interested.

First off he may be like me. I don't much like just "chatting" on the phone. In person I can be the Energizer Bunny of conversation but on the phone I really have nothing to say.

Second, what is with this texting stuff. Texting is not real communication. And it will take me more that 5 seconds to send you a text that says only "hi"

Now here is a real important hint. He can't read your mind. So if you want to talk to him on the phone just to chat then you need to tell him that you would like to talk to him more often. And you should pick up the phone and call him sometimes. If you are passive in this relationship then he is going to interpret it as you are not interested.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #6  October 25,2009, 8:42pm
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Poor guy! Look, just ask him if you can kiss him on the lips next time. If he says no, don't date him again.

Mind, you I've of late been dating a woman of conservative upbringing (but ever so delightful). On most recent date I told her that I wasn't going to bother to kiss her good by as she was being difficult about it (turns her cheek).

I added that she should relaise that I'd just turn the initiative on to her ... now it was her responsibilty. I felt a little sorry for her as she is now confused. Oh, as I like and respect her, and won't play games with her either. But it is amasing what a little openess can achieve.

Sadley, they teach this as a technic in "dating" schools and how to get women to have sex with you. Ie, tell that while you'd like too, they're not responsible if you have sex or not. I'm so disappointed that such a silly ploy, ie, being honest, would work. But apparently women don't get taught the best retort in "how to get a man" school.
Last edited by Fleuellen; October 25,2009 at 8:44pm.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #7  October 25,2009, 10:23pm
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I usually try to get a kiss in very early when dating. The only times that I haven't is if the woman is acting very cold or non receptive. Do you feel like your body language is open or closed?
 
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theseoman is offline theseoman Post #8  October 25,2009, 11:03pm
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kind of mysterious
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #9  October 26,2009, 5:12am
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Don't laugh, but I checked to see where you were from because I thought you might be dating a guy I did a few months ago (you're not). After 8 dates, he still gave me just a quick peck as we were saying goodbye (sometimes he even "forgot") and only held my hand one time for 30 seconds or so. He called once a week and one time went 9 days without any contact.

It's just a matter of personal preference. He wasn't into small talk, while I'm nearly a professional. I'm still not sure why he wasn't affectionate at all, but I guess that's just how he was. On my part, affection is a really big deal. Needless to say, it wasn't a good fit, and there was another unrelated issue I discovered that was a dealbreaker, so we called it quits.

If this is how he is and it's a big deal to you, then I don't see how you can ignore it. I would give him a little more time, though, since he could be willing but just nervous.
 
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Dreamsicles is offline Dreamsicles Post #10  October 26,2009, 9:04pm
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I am receptive to when he touches me and don't in any way react negatively. The reason why I am stumped with this situation is because guys usually call me just to talk to me and for no real reason. Also, for the most part I am fairly good at reading people and figuring out if they are interested. This one just confuses me and I have no clue if he likes me or not. Maybe he just feels that there is no chemistry.....

Thanks everyone for your responses by the way. It is greatly appreciated!
 
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