Creating a new, user friendly, system for finding a good man or woman


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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #81  October 26,2009, 6:44pm
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My catalog would have to be a library catalog.

Nabokov. I'd check him out for a week or two just to tickle him silly. He was far too serious.

I'd go fishing with Thoreau but I'd trick him by buying the $16 a box worms and then I'd laugh myself stupid when he lectured me on simple living.

Dostoyevsky I'd keep for a while just so I could hide in odd places and jump out at him yelling BOO and GOTCHA!

Shakespeare....the man who wrote the book on writing. Tragedy, romance, comedy, drama. I would lick him up one side and down the other until I absorbed it all like toad toxin and began to see visions.

Tom Robbins and I would not be allowed to play together lest we light up the sky with ridiculous fireworks. I wouldn't check him out. I'd steal him and set him free but only after an extended period of friendly debauchery.

I would consider a brief stint of lesbianism with Jane Austen, but only so that I could coax the secret of where the real Mr. Darcy lives from her.

I would lock all the self-help books in the basement so they can't do any more harm.

So many books....so little time.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #82  October 26,2009, 7:06pm
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Hold up - do we have to marry these guys once we buy them, or is shackin' up acceptable?
 
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clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #83  October 26,2009, 7:07pm
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*sigh*

I love a good read.

And adhesives. Liquid Nails and all ...

lol.
 
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clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #84  October 26,2009, 7:08pm
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Faira,

They are your property. Do with them what you want. You can dress them up ... feed them, whatever ...
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #85  October 26,2009, 7:48pm
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*ponders*
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #86  October 26,2009, 7:59pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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There seems to be a certain progression here....
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhopeAdvice Member-Moderator Post #87  October 26,2009, 8:25pm
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jayjay wrote :
There seems to be a certain progression here....
Jayjay, I liked your idea about the expiration date, LOL!

I'd also like a toll-free number printed on the user-friendly instruction manual -- a 24/7 hotline for trouble-shooting problems with our new partner:

Equipment malfunction? Call the hotline.

Boundary issue? Call the hotline.

Financial disagreement? Call the hotline.

Not enough sex? Call the hotline. Um. Yeh. Maybe that's just for the men...
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #88  October 26,2009, 8:52pm
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jayjay wrote :
There seems to be a certain progression here....
Care to elaborate, Mr. Mysterious?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #89  October 26,2009, 9:08pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Faira wrote :
Care to elaborate, Mr. Mysterious?
We started out with orange arrows saying 'good guy'....and have progressed to adhesives and feeding and dressing them up.
Last edited by jayjay; October 26,2009 at 9:10pm.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #90  October 26,2009, 10:27pm

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He just needs to walk up to me and say, "You complete me." That is the sign I am looking for.........not.

Ha! Ha!
 
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