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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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I suppose it is not single people ... it is single people avail. and suitable for a relationship ...

But I gather the only disparaity between men and women is that both want the man to be a few years older ... if you take a modest spread ... ie, women also considering younger males, like men do of women it is about even.

But there are only so many unmarried male millionaires, rock stars out there ... I suspect that is more the issue. Which is just as well as I'd have no hope otherwise.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:51 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
I suppose it is not single people ... it is single people avail. and suitable for a relationship ...

But I gather the only disparaity between men and women is that both want the man to be a few years older ... if you take a modest spread ... ie, women also considering younger males, like men do of women it is about even.

But there are only so many unmarried male millionaires, rock stars out there ... I suspect that is more the issue. Which is just as well as I'd have no hope otherwise.
A little old, but here are census numbers.

149.1 million
The number of females in the United States as of July 1, 2004. That exceeds the number of males (144.5 million). Males outnumbered females in every five-year-age group through the 35- to 39-age group. Starting with the 40- to 44-age group, women outnumbered men. At 85 and over, there were more than twice as many women as men.

And here is a map showing regional variations in the US which is also kind o interesting and just goes to show where you live has an impact on your chances o meeting someone as well.

A singles map of the United States of America - The Boston Globe

And last but not least ... this article on never married men above age forty, which tends to indicate that the pool of single men that age actually looking for marriage is likely a good bit less than the total.

THE HUMAN CONDITION / OVER-40 BACHELORS - Single Minded - Los Angeles Times

I will say that in the past five years or so I haven't met but two ppl my age who are single and neither seemed to be looking for anything resembling a committed relationship. I meet between thee hundred and five hundred new ppl each year.

So I still think you are being a little hard on Miss Trixie.
- October 25th, 2009, 10:30 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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*sigh* modded.

I will be upset if I have to go dig all those links up again ...
- October 25th, 2009, 10:32 pm
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Benevolence32 Benevolence32 is offline
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nightling wrote :
Actually I have looked at the demographics. It's not even. There are lots more women in the demographic who are single than men.

Plus, men can look at ages much lower than themselves wo incurring much societal judgment, whereas many women cannot and/or do not want to do that.
There's more single men in general I believe until you get up into the older age brackets when men start croaking. The Census Bureau tracks all that stuff, something like 35 pct of men have never married as opposed to 28 pct of women.
- October 25th, 2009, 11:07 pm
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olneyjeeps olneyjeeps is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
I have only gone and done it.

Months of thinking the site was useless, today I cancelled my eHarmony subscription. As of the 5th November inadequate matching will not be a problem of mine.

What now? Any suggestions? How am I going to get a man? Will I be crawling back with my tail between my legs to have another go or is there another way?
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison
Months of looking????? You are looking for a life partner and you are only willing to invest a handful of months before you call it quits (and placing the blame on someone/something other than you)? I think we have a new definition of "cheap" (OK, been reading the "who pays for first date" thread.)
Last edited by olneyjeeps; October 26th, 2009 at 03:52 am.
- October 26th, 2009, 03:46 am
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olneyjeeps olneyjeeps is offline
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MansPOV wrote :
I cancelled mine today as well, but for a completely different reason... I met someone! We'd been dating for about 4 weeks now and this weekend decided to give it the offical "boyfriend/Girlfriend" status.

I had turned off matching and closed out all of my matches about a week ago. And as a show of "commitment" to the relationship, we both cancelled our subscriptions and deleted any other online services profiles.



Fleu you never cease to amaze me. Though for once I agree with you... (on some level anyway!) EH, or any online dating site, is simply a way to make introductions. Nothing more. If you think it is going to magically find you "the one" or "Mr. Right" or whatever dream girl/guy you are looking for, you'll be sorely disappointed. You still have to do the leg work on your own. Take the time to read profiles and responses to the GC.




That's fun for some, however... for many of us, that's NOT fun. Not at all. I'd rather rub crushed glass in my eye than go out on an endless string of dates with people I have no interest in seeing again. I also feel that I am kind of a hard match. So I've been patient and very selective about who I ended up making a date with as I didn't want to waste their time or mine.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that I don't think eHarmony's matching process is any better or worse than any other PAID matching site. (Free sites like Craigslist or PlentyOfFlakes.com are worthless.)

In my experience on EH, I found that there were an inordinate amount of people that never responded to communications (which I assume were people on the free trials) as well as people who did not complete the profile (which I assume abandoned the signup process).

However, of the people who were actually willing to pony up for the service and responded in some way (even to close the match), I found the quality of those matches to be pretty strong. A lot of quality women on here actually! Not necessarily a good match for me, but quality people none the less.

Stats:
Time on EH: about 4 1/2 months
Matches: Several hundred
Matches that made it to OC: 4
Dates: 2 coffee dates (no 2nd date) / 1 coffee date that evolved into the current relationship.

Would I use the service again? Yeah probably.

The other thing I want to say is that I have spent a lot of time reading these boards and will continue to do so. I have found the advice and input of the community here to be really invaluable.

+1
Stats:
Time on EH: about 4 1/2 months (I canceled several months ago)
Matches: Several hundred
Matches that made it to OC: Dozens
Dates: 1 "non date" dinner, 1 drinks at a bar, 1 drive out into the desert to have lunch by the lake, turned into current relationship: 5 months now, incredibly strong.

Would I do it again: in a heartbeat, but hopefully won't have to
Would I recommend it: duh!!!!!
Incidentally, Laura had been on for quite some time, I was her first date (she is VERY VERY picky, knows "what" she wants and will settle for nothing less (well doesn't that make me feel special).
- October 26th, 2009, 04:07 am
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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I'm very happy for everyone that has had success with eHarmony; even you smug and spiteful ones!

Maybe in a couple of years time eHarmony would be a better bet in the UK (though hopefully I won't need it by then) but over a 3 month period I wasn't getting anywhere near as many matches as you guys.

Also because its new over here I think a bigger proportion of my matches were just checking it out and were not actually paid up members. Almost half had no photo and did not respond to my request for a photo.

Matches that did come through were not very compatible, they lived pretty far away in UK terms and did not seem to share my mind set or lifestyle. I did not discriminate so much on looks or the match details box at the top. Actually it was how he said he spent his leisure time that mostly made me send the questions.

Question responses were patchy and left me with the notion that eH members are either playing by a very strict interpretation of the game (ie wait 3 days in between responses) which I found a little tiresome or did not really want to persue a relationship at all. I guess it could be my fault, I could actually be appalling and these were "good quality people" who know how to avoid trailer trash when they see it. I'll ask the man who went through to OC with me and that I'm going on a date with ~ I'll let you know.

Incidentally there was another man who went through to OC, he was ok but liked to wait over a week between replies and in his last message he wrote "Hi Jacqueline" ?! Who is Jacqueline? It's not a big deal but seriously, who needs it?

I am a primary school teacher which sets me in a female / gay guy world. I always have someone to compliment my new shoes but not many appropriate men to flirt with. I'm 41 so don't hang around bars like a I used to in my 20s. I don't find it hard to strike up a conversation with strangers and I'm generally considered good company. My married men friends tell me that I'm attractive and they don't know why I'm single (in a supportive, in front of their wives, not creepy kind of way). Most of my life I have been in a serious relationship. Of course I know you can't "get" a person but don't want to "get" anyone who hasn't got a sense of humour anyway.

It's just really hard to meet people, any people, when you get a bit older. Is all I'm really saying and why I joined eHarmony in the first place. I'm as sorry as the next person that it didn't come up with the goods but for me, it didn't.
- October 26th, 2009, 04:37 am
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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moderated. bummer.
- October 26th, 2009, 06:02 am
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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It's back, my big post is back, always anxious when the moderators keep 'em for long.
- October 26th, 2009, 05:12 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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nightling wrote :
And last but not least ... this article on never married men above age forty, which tends to indicate that the pool of single men that age actually looking for marriage is likely a good bit less than the total.
I think the number of men who are married and not looking for a relationship is a wash....as this is the same number of women who are married and not looking for a relationship.
- October 26th, 2009, 05:22 pm
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