Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 789

See profile

nightling wrote :
maybe in her age group most of the men are not single, fluellen.
I'm in the same age group ... I've mates in the same age group who aren't attached ... but you ahve a point as I woudn't recommed them ... but if you look at the demographics it is pretty even ... only tough when you're 80 as guys die sooner

PS it is not the meeting it is developing a realionship that I suspect is the issue
Last edited by Fleuellen; October 25th, 2009 at 08:59 pm.
- October 25th, 2009, 08:53 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 2,448

See profile

Fleuellen wrote :
I'm in the same age group ... I've mates in the same age group who aren't attached ... but you ahve a point as I woudn't recommed them ... but if you look at the demographics it is pretty even ... only tough when you're 80 as guys die sooner
Actually I have looked at the demographics. It's not even. There are lots more women in the demographic who are single than men.

Plus, men can look at ages much lower than themselves wo incurring much societal judgment, whereas many women cannot and/or do not want to do that.
- October 25th, 2009, 08:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
MansPOV MansPOV is offline
MansPOV's Avatar

MansPOV : A computer once beat me at chess... but it was no match for me in boxing!

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 68

See profile

I cancelled mine today as well, but for a completely different reason... I met someone! We'd been dating for about 4 weeks now and this weekend decided to give it the offical "boyfriend/Girlfriend" status.

I had turned off matching and closed out all of my matches about a week ago. And as a show of "commitment" to the relationship, we both cancelled our subscriptions and deleted any other online services profiles.

Fleuellen wrote :
But I agree, E-H is useless if you think it is any more than a cyber glance across a "crowded bar." What happens next is entirely down to you.
Fleu you never cease to amaze me. Though for once I agree with you... (on some level anyway!) EH, or any online dating site, is simply a way to make introductions. Nothing more. If you think it is going to magically find you "the one" or "Mr. Right" or whatever dream girl/guy you are looking for, you'll be sorely disappointed. You still have to do the leg work on your own. Take the time to read profiles and responses to the GC.


Fleuellen wrote :
As case in point, in my brief look at E-H, I was accepting a new date about every week. It was fun. I wasn't what my dates seem to looking for, and they me. Big deal. It was fun playing blind date.
That's fun for some, however... for many of us, that's NOT fun. Not at all. I'd rather rub crushed glass in my eye than go out on an endless string of dates with people I have no interest in seeing again. I also feel that I am kind of a hard match. So I've been patient and very selective about who I ended up making a date with as I didn't want to waste their time or mine.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that I don't think eHarmony's matching process is any better or worse than any other PAID matching site. (Free sites like Craigslist or PlentyOfFlakes.com are worthless.)

In my experience on EH, I found that there were an inordinate amount of people that never responded to communications (which I assume were people on the free trials) as well as people who did not complete the profile (which I assume abandoned the signup process).

However, of the people who were actually willing to pony up for the service and responded in some way (even to close the match), I found the quality of those matches to be pretty strong. A lot of quality women on here actually! Not necessarily a good match for me, but quality people none the less.

Stats:
Time on EH: about 4 1/2 months
Matches: Several hundred
Matches that made it to OC: 4
Dates: 2 coffee dates (no 2nd date) / 1 coffee date that evolved into the current relationship.

Would I use the service again? Yeah probably.

The other thing I want to say is that I have spent a lot of time reading these boards and will continue to do so. I have found the advice and input of the community here to be really invaluable.

Last edited by MansPOV; October 25th, 2009 at 09:04 pm.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:00 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 2,448

See profile

MansPOV wrote :
I cancelled mine today as well, but for a completely different reason... I met someone! We'd been dating for about 4 weeks now and this weekend decided to give it the offical "boyfriend/Girlfriend" status.

I had turned off matching and closed out all of my matches about a week ago. And as a show of "commitment" to the relationship, we both cancelled our subscriptions and deleted any other online services profiles.



Fleu you never cease to amaze me. Though for once I agree with you... (on some level anyway!) EH, or any online dating site, is simply a way to make introductions. Nothing more. If you think it is going to magically find you "the one" or "Mr. Right" or whatever dream girl/guy you are looking for, you'll be sorely disappointed. You still have to do the leg work on your own. Take the time to read profiles and responses to the GC.




That's fun for some, however... for many of us, that's NOT fun. Not at all. I'd rather rub crushed glass in my eye than go out on an endless string of dates with people I have no interest in seeing again. I also feel that I am kind of a hard match. So I've been patient and very selective about who I ended up making a date with as I didn't want to waste their time or mine.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that I don't think eHarmony's matching process is any better or worse than any other PAID matching site. (Free sites like Craigslist or PlentyOfFlakes.com are worthless.)

In my experience on EH, I found that there were an inordinate amount of people that never responded to communications (which I assume were people on the free trials) as well as people who did not complete the profile (which I assume abandoned the signup process).

However, of the people who were actually willing to pony up for the service and responded in some way (even to close the match), I found the quality of those matches to be pretty strong. A lot of quality women on here actually! Not necessarily a good match for me, but quality people none the less.

Stats:
Time on EH: about 4 1/2 months
Matches: Several hundred
Matches that made it to OC: 4
Dates: 2 coffee dates (no 2nd date) / 1 coffee date that evolved into the current relationship.

Would I use the service again? Yeah probably.

The other thing I want to say is that I have spent a lot of time reading these boards and will continue to do so. I have found the advice and input of the community here to be really invaluable.

Nice to hear your success story. I wish you all the best.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:23 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I'm in love and always will be ... All that was there will be there still

Sage

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 10,595

See profile

I don't know if this thread was started as a serious question or intended to be the absurdity that it quickly became.

Assuming the question was real then I will give a real answer. What is next is that you will be going back to searching for men using the same methods that you used before joining eHarmony. Seems like you may have had no better success with those methods than you claim from eHarmony.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:25 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

CeJay CeJay is offline
CeJay's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 23

See profile

nightling wrote :
Actually I have looked at the demographics. It's not even. There are lots more women in the demographic who are single than men.
I thought the numbers were pretty much even until 50. I thought at 50+ you then see a dramatic shift of more single women to single men.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 2,448

See profile

CeJay wrote :
I thought the numbers were pretty much even until 50. I thought at 50+ you then see a dramatic shift of more single women to single men.
Hmm last article I saw on it was a couple years back. So my data is admittedly little old.

But I will say I meet a lot of new ppl in my line of work every day and there haven't been any single ones my age.
Last edited by nightling; October 25th, 2009 at 09:33 pm.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:31 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
CeJay CeJay is offline
CeJay's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 23

See profile

I have seen that one stat flying around that there are 10million more single women age 35 and up compared to men... But that's really really misleading.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:37 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
jayjay jayjay is online now
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

CeJay wrote :
I thought the numbers were pretty much even until 50. I thought at 50+ you then see a dramatic shift of more single women to single men.
Doesn't matter....the 50 year olds are looking for 35 year olds anyway.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 789

See profile

I suppose it is not single people ... it is single people avail. and suitable for a relationship ...

But I gather the only disparaity between men and women is that both want the man to be a few years older ... if you take a modest spread ... ie, women also considering younger males, like men do of women it is about even.

But there are only so many unmarried male millionaires, rock stars out there ... I suspect that is more the issue. Which is just as well as I'd have no hope otherwise.
- October 25th, 2009, 09:50 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4

Bookmarks

« Hey Washington DC...Where are all the Latinos....??? | Array | Frequency of Dates & Long Distance »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Just FYI -- I don't see any reason why your post won't appear. Note that the mods are in the Pacific timezone, though, so it may be at least a couple of more hours before they even see it...” – neardc

Join the “Update” discussion

“So if you've never travelled on the London underground the pure, grueling drudgery of it won't be first hand and the loveliness of this little annecdote may be lost. On Saturday night I was ... ” – gcoleman99

Join the “Good things sometimes happen out of the blue - at random” discussion

“I've been conducting a lot of interviews for my company looking to fill some sales positions and so far the most amusing candidate was a gentleman who told me that he is very shy and afraid of people ... ” – DancingFool

Join the “Interview stories” discussion

“I agree with the others who have said these are comments a woman might make to a male friend. I also think when you are in your group, it might help to pay a little more attention to how she ... ” – MelinCali

Join the “Is she just friendly or something else?” discussion

“And he isn't even upset. He was more concerned about getting all his stuff back than anything else. After all his protestations of love and being so sorry and feeling so guilty for putting me through ... ” – Joti

Join the “It's over.” discussion

“Once I had a few first dates under my belt, I learned quickly that I needed to lower my expectations, from "is he my soulmate?" to "would I go on a second/ third/ fourth date with him?" That helped ... ” – Shelby

Join the “De-Stressing the Dating Process” discussion

“I upgraded my image myself and people started taking me more seriously. I started wearing business suits instead of slacks and shirts, started wearing my name tag, added my credentials next to my ... ” – Joti

Join the “Improving your image” discussion

“ I generally do cleaning out after the free communication weekends since if they haven't responded by then it just means they're not active or interested. Some people just communicate on the free ... ” – hankscorpio

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:38 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0