I've only gone and cancelled my membership ~ what now?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #11  October 25,2009, 7:53pm
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 785

See profile

nightling wrote :
maybe in her age group most of the men are not single, fluellen.
I'm in the same age group ... I've mates in the same age group who aren't attached ... but you ahve a point as I woudn't recommed them ... but if you look at the demographics it is pretty even ... only tough when you're 80 as guys die sooner

PS it is not the meeting it is developing a realionship that I suspect is the issue
Last edited by Fleuellen; October 25,2009 at 7:59pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #12  October 25,2009, 7:57pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

Fleuellen wrote :
I'm in the same age group ... I've mates in the same age group who aren't attached ... but you ahve a point as I woudn't recommed them ... but if you look at the demographics it is pretty even ... only tough when you're 80 as guys die sooner
Actually I have looked at the demographics. It's not even. There are lots more women in the demographic who are single than men.

Plus, men can look at ages much lower than themselves wo incurring much societal judgment, whereas many women cannot and/or do not want to do that.
 
  Reply With Quote
MansPOV is offline MansPOV Post #13  October 25,2009, 8:00pm
MansPOV's Avatar

: A computer once beat me at chess... but it was no match for me in boxing!

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Sacramento, CA

Posts: 68

See profile

I cancelled mine today as well, but for a completely different reason... I met someone! We'd been dating for about 4 weeks now and this weekend decided to give it the offical "boyfriend/Girlfriend" status.

I had turned off matching and closed out all of my matches about a week ago. And as a show of "commitment" to the relationship, we both cancelled our subscriptions and deleted any other online services profiles.

Fleuellen wrote :
But I agree, E-H is useless if you think it is any more than a cyber glance across a "crowded bar." What happens next is entirely down to you.
Fleu you never cease to amaze me. Though for once I agree with you... (on some level anyway!) EH, or any online dating site, is simply a way to make introductions. Nothing more. If you think it is going to magically find you "the one" or "Mr. Right" or whatever dream girl/guy you are looking for, you'll be sorely disappointed. You still have to do the leg work on your own. Take the time to read profiles and responses to the GC.


Fleuellen wrote :
As case in point, in my brief look at E-H, I was accepting a new date about every week. It was fun. I wasn't what my dates seem to looking for, and they me. Big deal. It was fun playing blind date.
That's fun for some, however... for many of us, that's NOT fun. Not at all. I'd rather rub crushed glass in my eye than go out on an endless string of dates with people I have no interest in seeing again. I also feel that I am kind of a hard match. So I've been patient and very selective about who I ended up making a date with as I didn't want to waste their time or mine.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that I don't think eHarmony's matching process is any better or worse than any other PAID matching site. (Free sites like Craigslist or PlentyOfFlakes.com are worthless.)

In my experience on EH, I found that there were an inordinate amount of people that never responded to communications (which I assume were people on the free trials) as well as people who did not complete the profile (which I assume abandoned the signup process).

However, of the people who were actually willing to pony up for the service and responded in some way (even to close the match), I found the quality of those matches to be pretty strong. A lot of quality women on here actually! Not necessarily a good match for me, but quality people none the less.

Stats:
Time on EH: about 4 1/2 months
Matches: Several hundred
Matches that made it to OC: 4
Dates: 2 coffee dates (no 2nd date) / 1 coffee date that evolved into the current relationship.

Would I use the service again? Yeah probably.

The other thing I want to say is that I have spent a lot of time reading these boards and will continue to do so. I have found the advice and input of the community here to be really invaluable.

Last edited by MansPOV; October 25,2009 at 8:04pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #14  October 25,2009, 8:23pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

MansPOV wrote :
I cancelled mine today as well, but for a completely different reason... I met someone! We'd been dating for about 4 weeks now and this weekend decided to give it the offical "boyfriend/Girlfriend" status.

I had turned off matching and closed out all of my matches about a week ago. And as a show of "commitment" to the relationship, we both cancelled our subscriptions and deleted any other online services profiles.



Fleu you never cease to amaze me. Though for once I agree with you... (on some level anyway!) EH, or any online dating site, is simply a way to make introductions. Nothing more. If you think it is going to magically find you "the one" or "Mr. Right" or whatever dream girl/guy you are looking for, you'll be sorely disappointed. You still have to do the leg work on your own. Take the time to read profiles and responses to the GC.




That's fun for some, however... for many of us, that's NOT fun. Not at all. I'd rather rub crushed glass in my eye than go out on an endless string of dates with people I have no interest in seeing again. I also feel that I am kind of a hard match. So I've been patient and very selective about who I ended up making a date with as I didn't want to waste their time or mine.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that I don't think eHarmony's matching process is any better or worse than any other PAID matching site. (Free sites like Craigslist or PlentyOfFlakes.com are worthless.)

In my experience on EH, I found that there were an inordinate amount of people that never responded to communications (which I assume were people on the free trials) as well as people who did not complete the profile (which I assume abandoned the signup process).

However, of the people who were actually willing to pony up for the service and responded in some way (even to close the match), I found the quality of those matches to be pretty strong. A lot of quality women on here actually! Not necessarily a good match for me, but quality people none the less.

Stats:
Time on EH: about 4 1/2 months
Matches: Several hundred
Matches that made it to OC: 4
Dates: 2 coffee dates (no 2nd date) / 1 coffee date that evolved into the current relationship.

Would I use the service again? Yeah probably.

The other thing I want to say is that I have spent a lot of time reading these boards and will continue to do so. I have found the advice and input of the community here to be really invaluable.

Nice to hear your success story. I wish you all the best.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #15  October 25,2009, 8:25pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

I don't know if this thread was started as a serious question or intended to be the absurdity that it quickly became.

Assuming the question was real then I will give a real answer. What is next is that you will be going back to searching for men using the same methods that you used before joining eHarmony. Seems like you may have had no better success with those methods than you claim from eHarmony.
 
  Reply With Quote
CeJay is offline CeJay Post #16  October 25,2009, 8:27pm
CeJay's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2009

Denver

Posts: 23

See profile

nightling wrote :
Actually I have looked at the demographics. It's not even. There are lots more women in the demographic who are single than men.
I thought the numbers were pretty much even until 50. I thought at 50+ you then see a dramatic shift of more single women to single men.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #17  October 25,2009, 8:31pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

CeJay wrote :
I thought the numbers were pretty much even until 50. I thought at 50+ you then see a dramatic shift of more single women to single men.
Hmm last article I saw on it was a couple years back. So my data is admittedly little old.

But I will say I meet a lot of new ppl in my line of work every day and there haven't been any single ones my age.
Last edited by nightling; October 25,2009 at 8:33pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
CeJay is offline CeJay Post #18  October 25,2009, 8:37pm
CeJay's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2009

Denver

Posts: 23

See profile

I have seen that one stat flying around that there are 10million more single women age 35 and up compared to men... But that's really really misleading.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #19  October 25,2009, 8:47pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

CeJay wrote :
I thought the numbers were pretty much even until 50. I thought at 50+ you then see a dramatic shift of more single women to single men.
Doesn't matter....the 50 year olds are looking for 35 year olds anyway.
 
  Reply With Quote
Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #20  October 25,2009, 8:50pm
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 785

See profile

I suppose it is not single people ... it is single people avail. and suitable for a relationship ...

But I gather the only disparaity between men and women is that both want the man to be a few years older ... if you take a modest spread ... ie, women also considering younger males, like men do of women it is about even.

But there are only so many unmarried male millionaires, rock stars out there ... I suspect that is more the issue. Which is just as well as I'd have no hope otherwise.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:36pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0