How does being monogamus effect your friendship with friends who are married?


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  October 25,2009, 6:04am
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trixie1868 wrote :
Are your friends suggesting wife swapping?

Do you mean, if you've agreed formally or informally to only have sex with one person for the rest of your life ~ does it sow seeds of doubt in your mind to know that there's a lot of sex out there that you can't have now?

I know this. People should not talk about their sex lives to single people. That is a very unkind thing to do. (the monogamous can always close their eyes and pretend they're with someone else ~ we can't!)
Seems to me that unless you are having problems and are working with a therapist that the proper thing to do would be to not be discussing your sex life with anyone but your spouse (or SO).
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #12  October 25,2009, 6:12am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Maybe I just have higher class friends than you do.
Oh c'mon, it has nothing to do with 'class'. That's just silly. Friends talk TO and WITH friends. About all sorts of things - family issues, relationship issues, sex issues, kid issues, friend issues and work issues. Whether they're gossip talking, vent talking, advice seeking or what have you, FRIENDS TALK. Sheeesh.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #13  October 25,2009, 6:21am
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lucky173 wrote :
Oh c'mon, it has nothing to do with 'class'. That's just silly. Friends talk TO and WITH friends. About all sorts of things - family issues, relationship issues, sex issues, kid issues, friend issues and work issues. Whether they're gossip talking, vent talking, advice seeking or what have you, FRIENDS TALK. Sheeesh.

I don't usually agree with Gr8guy, and I would have phrased it differently, but ICK! Talking about your sex life with friends? Nope, never done it, and friends and family have never had the urge to regale me with their details, either. TMI!

I'd consider it a breach of privacy, and grounds for some serious counseling, if not cause for a break of the relationship.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #14  October 25,2009, 7:19am
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Spider wrote :
I don't usually agree with Gr8guy, and I would have phrased it differently, but ICK! Talking about your sex life with friends? Nope, never done it, and friends and family have never had the urge to regale me with their details, either. TMI!

I'd consider it a breach of privacy, and grounds for some serious counseling, if not cause for a break of the relationship.
I agree that I wouldn't discuss the sex life of my SO and I with other friends....at least other than in the most general terms (such as that we have it). Just as certain things may be done or said with friends in confidence and I don't repeat these to others.....the same goes for me with my relationship with my partner.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #15  October 25,2009, 8:15am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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I think women do talk about their sex lives in more detail to their girlfriends than men would do. Especially if the man really loves the woman he's having sex with, he's very private then. You lot are much more discreet than we are and it's one of the things we like you for.

Well done men.
Last edited by trixie1868; October 25,2009 at 10:25am. Reason: spelling mistake!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is online now Wonderwoman402 Post #16  October 25,2009, 8:47am
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gothustartus wrote :
Why would it make a difference? Unless of course what your friends are saying is that monogamy isn't worth it and they wish they were still single and playing the field.
In my experience married folk rarely talk about their sex lives to friends unless they're dissatisfied and/or complaining about the lack of sex in their marriage.

I know some of mine think I've got it made and can't imagine why I'd want to settle down with someone again. While I wouldn't describe myself as "chaste," I think they believe my life is a lot more exciting than it really is.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #17  October 25,2009, 9:16am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
In my experience married folk rarely talk about their sex lives to friends
Probably because they tend to have less of it after marriage?
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #18  October 25,2009, 1:56pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
I think women do talk about their sex lives in more detail to their girlfriends than men would do. Especially if the man really loves the woman he's having sex with, he's very private then. You lot are much more discreet than we are and it's one of the things we like you for.

Well done men.
Agreed! I have lost count of the number of times I've overheard women at work (during breaks) discussing their partners in this way. I think people don't realise how well their voices carry ... especially the usually higher pitch of the female voice!
 
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Msneisha is offline Msneisha Post #19  October 25,2009, 2:43pm
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lil_lamb wrote :
i think you've got the wrong the word. monogamous means being married to only one person at a time. i think the word you're looking for is chaste.
yea you know what i think your right i was looking for the word abstinence. sorry
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #20  October 25,2009, 9:11pm
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Msneisha wrote :
yea you know what i think your right i was looking for the word abstinence. sorry
just checking!

ok, i don't think it's a problem. well, of course, a person's ignorance can always lead him or her to come to mistaken conclusions - ignorance about human nature, sex, where his/her friends are coming from, etc. but excusing yourself from conversation is the opposite of a cure for ignorance.

also, whether or not a person is sexually active, they are still "sexual beings." even little children are not without sexuality (they will play with themselves or report sensations and so forth, much to the chagrin of naive adults, frankly). healthy people should have the capacity to relate and deal with the subject without discomfort.
 
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